Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to understand that you are setting your poor son up to go through puberty a full year and a half ahead of his "peers".


I thin what you have done to your son is truly ridiculous and without merit or reason.

You need better math skills! You should have been red-shirted!

My redshirted son's best friend went to K on time. they're in the same class and 6 weeks apart in age.

Then your son must not have a birthday in May, like OP's does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to the mothers/fathers who answered my question. Everyone who answered the question seemed to advise being confident and to the point. Thank you for the advice. I am excited about the future.

Yes, my son will turn 7 a few days or weeks before K graduation. He will be 6 the whole school year like many other children. Children start turning 6 on day one. And in my social circle, just about everybody redshirted for August and September and a few July/June too. Sorry if it bothers you or makes you think ill of me or my child but I had to do what is best for my child, of course. I researched this and thought about it for over a year and discussed and researched this ad nausuem. It's an old and dull subject to me now- read so many articles, books, comments, and had many conversations with friends and relatives. It's a dead horse- the debate of whether to redshirt or not. I already decided to do it and I just wanted advice from "veterans" so to speak. My own child told me if he's ever the youngest- to get him outta there! lol All the important people in my life are on board w it. It's what we did and are doing.


Yes, he will turn 19 a few days or weeks before high school graduation, as did my husband. We met in college and I never cared or noticed much that we had the same birthday but were in different grades. Actually this is a bonus for me because it gives me more time to influence and teach my child and gives him more time to mature. I graduated from college at 17 and did well but would have much preferred my child's path.

Please don't turn this thread into a redshirt debate- there are 9430940329 of those elsewhere and all over the internet. We don't need another one.

Besides, I know its cliché but every child and every family is different and has different needs. One of the main things I am looking forward to about having another year of half-day school is that my husband will be able to have father/son time with our child. He has been out of the country for 3 years. I'm not going to tell people this though, I am going to stick with "It was/is best for our family." Not going to protest too much in person

My son just finished 1st grade, he is still 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, your reasons are not compelling to me. Academically he sounds ready. You mention a few bullies who were older. My child has been bullied by much younger kids. This won't solve your problem.

In my opinion, whenever I see a redshirted child, I assume s/he has learning or social issues. Of course, I would never say that to you but that's what I would think.

And... that makes you think less of a the kid? Because they have learning issues? Or does it make you think less of the parent?
Really- why are spending time thinking about anyone elses kid- but your own.
God- I hate DC. Too many uppity moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Four year olds do not go to kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

"We held him back for a year because we were afraid he wasn't ready." That's all you need to tell people. Repeat if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Four year olds do not go to kindergarten.

Yes, they do. Many do. In FFX County the child must be 5 by 9/30. Many parents will send their Sept babies if they seem ready. Also, they don't have to pay for an extra year of daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Four year olds do not go to kindergarten.

Math not your strong suit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

I never understand this. Your son will turn 18 years after he was born, regardless of when he starts kindergarten. Or does childhood end when the child (or the no-longer-child, I guess?) enters kindergarten?

It's fairly obvious that people are talking about the benefit of pushing off schooling for one year -- kindergarten begins many years of intense and competitive schooling.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but children should not be turning 7 in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Four year olds do not go to kindergarten.

This is simply not true. A girl in DS's K class was born on the cut off which is Sept 30th. She was 4 for the first month of school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have a child with a July 22 birthday who entered kindergarten last fall shortly after she turned 5 and honestly, at this point I wish we would have held her back. 6-8 kids in her class were 11-14 months older than her. She passed all the kindergarten benchmarks, is reading at a level C but she is also at the bottom of her class.


Your problem is people like OP. Your July child should not be in a kindergarten with kids 11-14 months older. That is insane.

Parenting has gone off the rails.

But how do you know that she is at the bottom of the class because of her birthday? My son has a July birthday and is in the upper half of his K class. There is only one child who is younger than him, all the rest are older by a good deal. He is, however, more emotionally immature than a lot of the boys in his class. I would have liked to have held him back for that reason, but his preschool would not allow him to repeat, and I had noplace else to put him.

I know because that is what her teacher told us and she brought up the possibility of having her repeat kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

I never understand this. Your son will turn 18 years after he was born, regardless of when he starts kindergarten. Or does childhood end when the child (or the no-longer-child, I guess?) enters kindergarten?

That seems to be the assumption. I'm don't understand it either.

I *think* PP means that the child will spend another year at home before college. He'll go at almost 19, not almost 18.

Parents rarely redshirted fall-birthday kids in my day (and they sure didn't do it for kids born in May), but it would have benefited me in some ways. I was completely unready for college when I went at almost 18. But there's no way my parents could have known that, or would have considered it, when I was about to start K.

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread reminded me that my May-birthday DH had been redshirted. He had a health issue that required regular treatment throughout MS, at which time he somehow outgrew the issue. I believe this is the primary reason he was redshirted, though I suspect that his teacher/coach dad whose family was big into athletics may have been tempted to redshirt anyway. We were chatting about this thread, and DH noted that being redshirted was really annoying for sports as he usually had to "play up a grade" over the summer because many leagues are age-based. Being older/bigger wasn't a huge advantage.

I am an August birthday and went on-time; I loved being one of the youngest in my class and was always a top performer. My parents contemplated giving me another year of pre-k, but apparently I seemed very ready and excited for school. <snark> I only went to a top 25 school, though I did get in to two Ivies; perhaps Princeton would have accepted me if I'd just waited another year before starting K... </snark>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's your choice to pursue and adhd diagnosis. As well as medicating is a choice too. Redshirting is not the solution, parenting is.

I don't know that anyone is saying that redshirting is THE solution to the adhd misdiagnosis. However, i think the fact that tons of kids are diagnosed with ADHD, and the younger they are in class, the more likely they are to get diagnosed, is saying something about whether or not class is age-appropriate for those younger kids.

I did not base my redshirting decision on the possibility of my kid being misdiagnosed, I redshirted because i think K is age-inappropriate even for the children starting on time, so I didn't want my child starting something that isn't working well for his age group. I am so pleased with our decision. He was a late Aug bday though.

As others have pointed out, this is BS. ADHD is diagnosed based on a clinical assessment by a physician (in conjunction with a PhD psychologist sometimes, but only a physician can prescribe meds). There are age-normed tests. Relative age in a classroom has nothing to do with it. If your kid is "misdiagnosed" because he is among the younger kids in the class, that would be medical malpractice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I *think* PP means that the child will spend another year at home before college. He'll go at almost 19, not almost 18.

Parents rarely redshirted fall-birthday kids in my day (and they sure didn't do it for kids born in May), but it would have benefited me in some ways. I was completely unready for college when I went at almost 18. But there's no way my parents could have known that, or would have considered it, when I was about to start K.

That's what gap years are good for.