Did a 180 and decided to redshirt my child- question for parents who decided to do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid will turn 7 in kindergarten? Yeah I wouldn't celebrate his 7th birthday with his kinder friends. My son who just finished 2nd grade is still 7.

I agree. That is insane. My child will celebrate their 5th birthday in kindergarten. The fact that your 7 year old may be in class with my 5 year old is ridiculous.

If you are in MD you are going early. My kid is going per guidelines and will turn 6 a month and a half after school starts.

PP here, we are in VA. Cut off is sept 30.

[Anonymous]

Two things. First, I really don't get the logic. My child is at a preschool that is so bad it allows kids to throw rocks at each other, so my solution is to keep my kid in that crappy School for an extra year. Huh???

Also, I have an ADD kid, and we always worked with his teachers on issues that arose on an informal basis, often using ADD strategies and it was understood there MAY be ADD, but he was formally diagnosed and started medication when we, as parents, saw that there was a genuine academic impact and a need for more formal supports-- in MS. Nobody can take your kid to a psychologist and diagnose him or her without your consent. And nobody can give them ADD meds if you don't allow it. If a K teacher says I think your child has ADD and you aren't very, very sure, you say: what are you seeing that concerns you, specifically? what can we do to address those behaviors? it seems like he is too young and still adjusting to school-- can we touch base in a couple months and see how things are going? Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Please let me know if you have other any concerns. That it, you address the problems, and wait to assign a label the child is older or needs something like a 504 or medication -- in YOUR opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I did something questionable. I'm wondering how to spin-it"

That's your post.

+10000

OP, your issues are your issues. The same events may have happened regardless of redshirting. Yours is not a redshirting post, at all.

FWIW, everyone I know who redshirted are embarrassed when their child is THAT much BIGGER than everyone else. I mean May????? Really?????? Wow, I think this has more to do with you, than anyone.

Good luck with that, seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid will turn 7 in kindergarten? Yeah I wouldn't celebrate his 7th birthday with his kinder friends. My son who just finished 2nd grade is still 7.

I agree. That is insane. My child will celebrate their 5th birthday in kindergarten. The fact that your 7 year old may be in class with my 5 year old is ridiculous.

If you are in MD you are going early. My kid is going per guidelines and will turn 6 a month and a half after school starts.

PP here, we are in VA. Cut off is sept 30.

+100000

Holy crap. Now I've heard everything.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP! By the way, do you SAH or WOH? Would love to hear why you made that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Here's the difference-- a September baby really is on the bubble, will be the absolute youngest, and really may not be ready-- especially a boy. A May baby SHOULD be older than about 40% of his class, maybe more since there always seem to be a lot of late spring/summer babies. The May baby is average, and the September baby is the outlier. Everybody defending red shirting their August/ September DS is comparing apples and oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is how it typically plays out IMO:
Red shirted child does really well in school. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well, of course he is in the highest reading group. His mom had 10-12 more months to prep him"

Red shirted child does well in sports. Childs parents are very proud. Other parents dismiss these accomplishments, roll their eyes and say "well of course he's better than all the other kids. He's had almost another year of growing, coordinating and his dad had another 10-12 months of throwing the ball with him every night in the backyard."
It's almost like these kids accomplishments are put in another category and excused because they are so much older they are expected to be better. And yes, everyone knows who these kids are

By "other parents" you clearly mean you. Spend less time being so competitive, parenting isn't a contest.

This is exactly what I hear, every time a red shirted kid is clearly ahead in the younger years. No one is being fooled that a near year difference in age and parents that pushed for that exact scenario aren't typically high performing without the advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

I totally support your decision in general, but I'm not sure I really understand the comments that talk about size of the child, considering the fact that my own 5 year old is smaller than many 4 year olds. Kindergarteners come in a range of sizes and it's not always easy to guess who is the oldest and youngest on the class based upon that alone-- and then they grow at different rates throughout school...

[Anonymous]

Not sure how MoCo works, but if you are FCPS, you are completely screwing your kids over for AAP eligibility. The COGAT, NNAT , WISC a are all age Norma's, and your kid will have been exposed to a year less of reading, math reasoning, etc.

[Anonymous]

^^ normed not Norma's. Gotta love autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

No one is talking is concerned about you not starting your 4 year old in K. This is about starting a 6 year old in K. A six year old who turned 6, 4 months before school started
Further this now 5 year old seems to be on track.

You are not doing your child a favor by starting him late. He will not like turning 19 at the end of HS.

And unless you intend to lie about his age, people are going to know how old he is.

It is not just a being nosy thing. It comes out naturally. For example we typically put kids ages on birthday invitations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I hear about situations like these I don't make assumptions about the kids- they are powerless in these situations. I make a hell of a lot of assumptions about the parents- that they are the helicopter type or else the super competitive type who wants their kid to be the biggest/smartest/fastest kid in their elementary school class/get sports or academic scholarships etched. Instead they usually end up with kids who are bored in class and often underperform as a result. Because theyay have a big size advantage they aren't challenged athletically and can rely on size vs skill and also ultimately are average once their more skilled peers catch up to them in size. I see it backfire more than help a child.

Red shirting for no reason is stupid.

Too many people (mostly moms) believe that if they just do X, Y, and Z, their kids will turn out OK, or at least they are too scared NOT to do X, Y, or Z, just in case. (It starts at birth and generally seems to end by middle school--at that point every parent has enough experience to admit that you can't control everything, and that at some point you need to make reasonable decisions and see how things play out.) Pro-redshirt posters always say "what's the harm?" -- and since it's hard to articulate the downside to redshirting, since it's basically maintaining the status quo for your kid, and you can imagine a lot of downsides to sending your kid off to school, since that is new and therefore an unknown -- people err on the side of what they know and are comfortable with, thinking that the safest choice = the best choice. Except there's not really any reason to think that's true.

Well, except for the widely documented association between ADHD diagnoses and relative age of child. Personally I consider medical mis-diagnosis a major health risk to a child, but I guess you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Here's the difference-- a September baby really is on the bubble, will be the absolute youngest, and really may not be ready-- especially a boy. A May baby SHOULD be older than about 40% of his class, maybe more since there always seem to be a lot of late spring/summer babies. The May baby is average, and the September baby is the outlier. Everybody defending red shirting their August/ September DS is comparing apples and oranges.

The hyperventilating anti-redshirters here on DCUM don't distinguish between people who redshirt a kid on the cusp and people who redshirt a May birthday. Yours is maybe the only comment I've ever read from somebody who seems to oppose redshirting but who nonetheless points out that Aug/Sept is different than May/June.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Here's the difference-- a September baby really is on the bubble, will be the absolute youngest, and really may not be ready-- especially a boy. A May baby SHOULD be older than about 40% of his class, maybe more since there always seem to be a lot of late spring/summer babies. The May baby is average, and the September baby is the outlier. Everybody defending red shirting their August/ September DS is comparing apples and oranges.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an early September baby and the cutoff is Sept. 30. He's not even near kindergarten, but I'm redshirting 100%. I can afford childcare and there's no reason for my child to be the smallest in their class. Plus, an extra year of childhood. If you want to start your 4-year-old in kindergarten I don't care, but many of us make a different choice.

Your situation and OP's are completely different.

PP's point is that even without redshirting, there can be an 11 month spread.