Parents of boys who became incels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The presence of dads being required is cracking me up. You know lesbians aren't raising incels, right?

I think a lot of lesbian couples make an effort to ensure their sons have positive male role models in their lives.

What a stupid generality. Have you seen any data? Nope, just your own bias masquerading as truth.

NP
Isn't this the same for you as it is for everyone else?! Everyone thinks they are right and no one wants to actually listen. Bias created.

No it is not the same. As I said earlier I don’t make sweeping generalizations about entire genders. Stereotyping based on gender is ignorant.

[Anonymous]

I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

+1

[Anonymous]

I just came across this, but on threads (the wordy version of insta), @late.July posted “Are there any reformed red pill content men on here? And if so what made you move away from that (Rogan, RFK jr, Tate etc)” and there are some interesting answers.

https://www.threads.net/@late.july/post/DHrM0fqSCVD?xmt=AQGzYcbTw-x-xIsQK7bA8RpnLeO3tIo5052sJCKM5bKhjg

[Anonymous]

If caught early, the toxic-masculinity trends in these boys could be reversed if the schools were to include more lessons on basic feminism, the importance of standing up for women’s rights, etc.

Then, when these otherwise “lost boys” have grown to truly understand and advocate for the rights of women and girls, they will be the truly popular and desired young men, who won’t have any of these insidious “incel” issues later on, because women will seek them out and prefer them over toxically masculine men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If caught early, the toxic-masculinity trends in these boys could be reversed if the schools were to include more lessons on basic feminism, the importance of standing up for women’s rights, etc.

Then, when these otherwise “lost boys” have grown to truly understand and advocate for the rights of women and girls, they will be the truly popular and desired young men, who won’t have any of these insidious “incel” issues later on, because women will seek them out and prefer them over toxically masculine men.

Isn’t that essentially one of their main complaints, though? That schools are overly feminized and favor girls? Not sure how schools could lean in more on basic feminism and get a different result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

This is the problem right here. You are creating a world where being good at sports is the measure of a man and that leaves a lot of awesome people lost without a tribe.

We need a positive culture that embraces boys who are not as sporty. I can even see it in my very progressive neighborhood where I thought people would be more open minded but I was wrong. The girls prioritize other girls and the boys all play sports. Where should my kid find friends that accept him for sho he is if he doesn’t play sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

Well let me tell you what that looks like in real life because that’s what I did. Now he is caught between two worlds where he is not fitting in. The girls don’t want to play with a boy and the boys don’t think he is strong/fast enough to play with them and so he is left out on all sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

Well let me tell you what that looks like in real life because that’s what I did. Now he is caught between two worlds where he is not fitting in. The girls don’t want to play with a boy and the boys don’t think he is strong/fast enough to play with them and so he is left out on all sides.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Super interesting article from a few years ago in the Washingtonian about this:

https://www.washingtonian.com/2019/05/05/what-happened-after-my-13-year-old-son-joined-the-alt-right/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

This is the problem right here. You are creating a world where being good at sports is the measure of a man and that leaves a lot of awesome people lost without a tribe.

We need a positive culture that embraces boys who are not as sporty. I can even see it in my very progressive neighborhood where I thought people would be more open minded but I was wrong. The girls prioritize other girls and the boys all play sports. Where should my kid find friends that accept him for sho he is if he doesn’t play sports?

My kid goes to TJ, loves sports, is a varsity athlete in 2 of the 3 sports he plays there as a freshman and his PE teacher hates him. Truly. Ya can't win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

This is the problem right here. You are creating a world where being good at sports is the measure of a man and that leaves a lot of awesome people lost without a tribe.

We need a positive culture that embraces boys who are not as sporty. I can even see it in my very progressive neighborhood where I thought people would be more open minded but I was wrong. The girls prioritize other girls and the boys all play sports. Where should my kid find friends that accept him for sho he is if he doesn’t play sports?

My kid goes to TJ, loves sports, is a varsity athlete in 2 of the 3 sports he plays there as a freshman and his PE teacher hates him. Truly. Ya can't win.

t

DP. ?? What’s your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

It is more complicated than that. I have to be sympathetic to their perceptions since THEY seem to be bearing the brunt of the mistakes and bad behavior of generations of men before them. My boys know and have been told about the inequities in history (not just towards women but other cultural groups and races). They know to stand up for people. But all they know is the life they are living and struggling through themselves.

For example, my oldest's college roommate (boys) worked for weeks on a presentation for a prestigious internship position. There were spots for 2 boys and 2 girls from their school. There were about 20 boys and 3 girls who applied. His roommate did not get it despite being very qualified (grades, ecs etc) but one of the girls who got it had actually ran out of the presentation room in tears due to nerves. This really upset my feminist-raised ds on behalf of his roommate. It isn't going to make them the next Joe Rogans or anything but it doesn't engender empathy.

It is easy to say raise them that way but they face so many other factors and situations outside of the home especially as they get older - peers, reality, internet, other adults and leaders, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have time to read through 7 pages of comments so I’m not sure if anyone said this but I think making sure your son participates in sports helps a lot. They learn how to work with others, touch grass, stay in shape, and sports generally help with popularity.

This. And not just team sports, but individual ones also like boxing, martial arts, shooting, archery, etc.

Boys who grow up doing manly activities are much more balanced and better at being a grown man and husband.

This is the problem right here. You are creating a world where being good at sports is the measure of a man and that leaves a lot of awesome people lost without a tribe.

We need a positive culture that embraces boys who are not as sporty. I can even see it in my very progressive neighborhood where I thought people would be more open minded but I was wrong. The girls prioritize other girls and the boys all play sports. Where should my kid find friends that accept him for sho he is if he doesn’t play sports?

My kid goes to TJ, loves sports, is a varsity athlete in 2 of the 3 sports he plays there as a freshman and his PE teacher hates him. Truly. Ya can't win.

Sure but does your kid have male friendships with non sporty kids? I think that's the key here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one clear message on which we can all agree, form this whole incel thing, is:

- boys need to be far more educated and raised as feminists. It is the antidote to toxic masculinity. I am talking to you, boy-moms.

Well let me tell you what that looks like in real life because that’s what I did. Now he is caught between two worlds where he is not fitting in. The girls don’t want to play with a boy and the boys don’t think he is strong/fast enough to play with them and so he is left out on all sides.

What? Raising a feminist boy does not mean not good at sports. My god, the stupidity in this thread.