How to tell these parents I can’t help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

It's interesting to me that people like you think a "real reason" must show some logistical challenge or consequence. "Doesn't want to" can't be a real reason because it's too squishy, right?

The thing is, I highly value my morning routine with my kid. Our house is calm and joyful in the morning. We are not in a rush because we've set our lives up (WFH, walkable commute to school, one kid) intentionally to keep things chill. Breakfast and the walk to school are a time when my kid talks openly with me and we connect.

I don't think I should have to explain that to anyone in order to avoid having what I like about my mornings ruined by extra obligations and more people in the house. But I also think this is a "real" reason not to do it. Just a private and personal one.

Ok, so instead of simply saying “no,” OP can say “no, I don’t want to.” Either way she’s signaling that she’s not part of the community. Which is her choice.

And I get it, I’m an introvert and I like my peace. But, I suck it up and do these things to be a good member of my community. That way, when I’m in a bind I have people who I know will help me out. My kids are now in HS and I’m glad I helped out bc I’ve ended up needing as much help as I give and I’ve never had someone say “no” when I need a hand.

JFC it's not that deep. But if this is how you determine who is in your "community" I'm gladly opting out by any means necessary.

Yeah. It kind of is that deep. This stuff is part of being a good member of the community.
Either people carpool or walk their kids in or every single kid is dropped off in their own individual car and the drop-off line is 30 minutes long.

Get over yourself self-martyring oinker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

I would. Our neighbor is my son’s lacrosse coach. He has to go to every single practice. I asked him if he can take DS with him.
If he’s not going or his child isn’t going for whatever reason, then he lets me know.

That's inappropiate. And, you should be paying him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

It's interesting to me that people like you think a "real reason" must show some logistical challenge or consequence. "Doesn't want to" can't be a real reason because it's too squishy, right?

The thing is, I highly value my morning routine with my kid. Our house is calm and joyful in the morning. We are not in a rush because we've set our lives up (WFH, walkable commute to school, one kid) intentionally to keep things chill. Breakfast and the walk to school are a time when my kid talks openly with me and we connect.

I don't think I should have to explain that to anyone in order to avoid having what I like about my mornings ruined by extra obligations and more people in the house. But I also think this is a "real" reason not to do it. Just a private and personal one.

Ok, so instead of simply saying “no,” OP can say “no, I don’t want to.” Either way she’s signaling that she’s not part of the community. Which is her choice.

And I get it, I’m an introvert and I like my peace. But, I suck it up and do these things to be a good member of my community. That way, when I’m in a bind I have people who I know will help me out. My kids are now in HS and I’m glad I helped out bc I’ve ended up needing as much help as I give and I’ve never had someone say “no” when I need a hand.

I've had multiple people ask and when I've helped and asked for help I've gotten a no. Or, I sure, I'm happy to share with you. Do you want to do AM or PM pick up and they say I need to do it all... nope, never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your problem, OP, is not that you can’t do it, but that you don’t feel like doing it (but you don’t want to cone right out and tell them that because you don’t want them to think you’re a jerk).

Just be honest and then don’t expect any favors, ever, from these people going forward. I wouldn’t be surprised of they just completely write you off, but it’s your choice.

^ mad moron mooch freaking the F out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

I would. Our neighbor is my son’s lacrosse coach. He has to go to every single practice. I asked him if he can take DS with him.
If he’s not going or his child isn’t going for whatever reason, then he lets me know.

That's inappropiate. And, you should be paying him.

No. It’s weird to drive separately every day. And it’s weird to offer him cash.
I made their family a couple of lasagnas and sent a Thank You note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

Is it “dumping” their kids?
Why doesn’t OP just ask to meet in her driveway and take turns walking the kids in? It sounds like she needs to work during that time anyway.

I get the desire not to spend 20 minutes in the school drop off line every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are just crazy to me. I understand that you already have trouble getting out the door, but these are your kids actual friends right? My son was easier if he had a friend around. I would offer at least a week to see if the arrangement works. Would you say no to being an emergency contact? what about the school looses power and cancels half the day, would you watch your kids friends then? When you need a favor this is going to bite you back.

We would be friends . You get what you give....I bet many of these responses are from people always moaning about how hard it is to raise a kid these days with no community and every man for themselves without looking in the mirror and considering how they created that very community for themselves. Not that OP should drive every day but the paranoia from all the responders that if you do find a way to help at all you're going to be taken advantage by people just looking to step all over everyone else and never contribute back is wild

You know you would have a point if you actually read the whole OP post. OP IS NOT DRIVING OTHER KIDS. The parents want to drop their kids off at her house so she can walk them to school. And in order for this to make sense for those parents dropping off, they would be dropping off earlier than OP leaving for school which means she is responsible for other peoples kids in the morning because they dont want any alternative that requires THEM to do anything.

Who peed in your cheerios this morning?

DP. I’ll slow this down for you - you’re a dim bulb loser, and I’m sure most of the moms near you absolutely hate your guts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“I know. This has been crazy. Let’s take turns walking the kids to school. Sue can take Monday and Wednesday, you take Tuesday and Thursday, and I will take them on Fridays.
Let’s just meet in my driveway at 7:55. You and Sue can leave your car here on your days to walk the kids in.”

I think it would be fine for OP to just say no but I kind of want her to suggest this just to see if they take her up on it. Because this would be precisely the kind of "community" solution that people on here are complaining that OP is opting out of -- parents helping parents. OP would still be helping and these parents would still get several mornings a week where they could drop their kids and go. But they'd also do OP a solid once or twice a week and walk her kid in so she could work.

Also something no one has mentioned as they berate OP and others for not wanting to do this is that if this were a community where people regularly helped each other out wouldn't OP have already benefitted from that thus making her more inclined to help. Like all these people saying "just you wait until you have an issue and need help" seem to be overlooking the fact that OP likely has had issues at some point but has solved them without getting help from these folks. This is how I am. I have a "village" but it doesn't involve school parents I only know through my kids because I'd feel awkward asking. I had a medical emergency over the summer and we called our closest friends for emergency childcare while DH took me to the hospital not a fellow school family. And last year when my DH had to have surgery we figured it out ourselves. It did not occur to me to reach out to school families in this situation because we don't know them that well and just don't have that kind of relationship with them.

It sounds like OP is in a similar situation -- this isn't a community that she turns to for help. But here she's being asked to pony up to help others. I would question whether that will be reciprocal or if this is just desperate people looking for easy answers. It's odd to me they asked OP before reaching out to each other because you'd think the bus families would be more likely to already have relationships based on walking kids to the stop when they are little and being neighbors who do playdates and stuff. OP is only being dragged in now because she happens to live close to the school. It just sounds like user behavior not a village of reciprocal helpers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry that doesn't work with my schedule".

No explanation of why-leaves room for them to think they can bargain/negotiate.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

Is it “dumping” their kids?
Why doesn’t OP just ask to meet in her driveway and take turns walking the kids in? It sounds like she needs to work during that time anyway.

I get the desire not to spend 20 minutes in the school drop off line every day.

Yes OP could ask to take turns. But people are mad at OP for not wanting to simply be the designated drop off spots for parents wanting to avoid the drop off line. No one asked her to coordinate with them in a joint effort to get kids into school. They are asking for a one way favor.

Why don't these parents work among themselves to solve the problem. Why is OP their first call. If it were me my first call would be to the family who lived closest to me and whose kids take the same bus to see if we could find a way to help each other. I think it's weird that they instead reached out to OP who is not in this boat at all. This would never occur to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I know. This has been crazy. Let’s take turns walking the kids to school. Sue can take Monday and Wednesday, you take Tuesday and Thursday, and I will take them on Fridays.
Let’s just meet in my driveway at 7:55. You and Sue can leave your car here on your days to walk the kids in.”

I think it would be fine for OP to just say no but I kind of want her to suggest this just to see if they take her up on it. Because this would be precisely the kind of "community" solution that people on here are complaining that OP is opting out of -- parents helping parents. OP would still be helping and these parents would still get several mornings a week where they could drop their kids and go. But they'd also do OP a solid once or twice a week and walk her kid in so she could work.
.

I hope that she does too, pp.
I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

Is it “dumping” their kids?
Why doesn’t OP just ask to meet in her driveway and take turns walking the kids in? It sounds like she needs to work during that time anyway.

I get the desire not to spend 20 minutes in the school drop off line every day.

Yes OP could ask to take turns. But people are mad at OP for not wanting to simply be the designated drop off spots for parents wanting to avoid the drop off line. No one asked her to coordinate with them in a joint effort to get kids into school. They are asking for a one way favor.

Why don't these parents work among themselves to solve the problem. Why is OP their first call. If it were me my first call would be to the family who lived closest to me and whose kids take the same bus to see if we could find a way to help each other. I think it's weird that they instead reached out to OP who is not in this boat at all. This would never occur to me.

Only two people have reached out to her. It might be that they don’t have other kids from this school in their neighborhood.

I can imagine it occurring to me.
- How can I avoid the drop off line?
- Drop DC off a couple of blocks from school.
- Is that really safe? Maybe?
- Doesn’t Diane live 3 blocks from school? Maybe I can drop DC off at her house.
- I will ask her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

Is it “dumping” their kids?
Why doesn’t OP just ask to meet in her driveway and take turns walking the kids in? It sounds like she needs to work during that time anyway.

I get the desire not to spend 20 minutes in the school drop off line every day.

Yes OP could ask to take turns. But people are mad at OP for not wanting to simply be the designated drop off spots for parents wanting to avoid the drop off line. No one asked her to coordinate with them in a joint effort to get kids into school. They are asking for a one way favor.

Why don't these parents work among themselves to solve the problem. Why is OP their first call. If it were me my first call would be to the family who lived closest to me and whose kids take the same bus to see if we could find a way to help each other. I think it's weird that they instead reached out to OP who is not in this boat at all. This would never occur to me.

She can offer up a joint effort. It’s a one minute text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

Yup—OP you don’t have a real reason why you can’t help other than “don’t want to.” If they are dropped off at your house, it adds no time to take extra kids. So, there’s no reason to give. Just say “no” and they will see what your relationship is.

What about when OP’s kid is sick or not going to school for some reason? Then the extra kids are a burden.

JFC. Then you CALL or TEXT the other parents and say “can’t take the kids today!” And let them figure it out!

Some of you people are so over the top it’s ridiculous.

Yeah this and a few recent posts have a few people scrambling to think of any reason possible, no matter how remote, why they can’t possibly help others. It’s so bizarre.

Meanwhile you’re scrambling to come up w reasons why this shouldn’t be a problem for OP when OP already said that it is a problem for her. She doesn’t even need to have an excuse IMO other than simply she doesn’t want to do it. I don’t think anyone would be expecting a working *dad* to do this. This is one of those things it seems people only ask women to do.

People will ask regardless of gender to dump their kids on others as they feel their needs are higher than others.

I seriously doubt that