How to tell these parents I can’t help?

[Anonymous]

Not DC local so don’t panic for yourself!

Our school district just sent out emails informing us all of a sudden that a dozen busses will be cancelled on a weeks long rotating basis starting tomorrow. I WFH and have flexibility and walk or drive my child because we don’t live within bus boundary. I found out about the cancellation because TWO of DS school friends parents texted me asking if I could drive their kids with mine during the closure.

I haven’t responded; I came here first!

I don’t want to do this. I have no clue how long this will go on, but I can’t be a permanent solution. Besides, I don’t want to watch kids before school/work, and I drop DS off right before the bell. It would be just as easy for these parents to drop their child off at the school; our house is only a few blocks from the school.

So what’s the best way to explain this tactfully?

[Anonymous]

"Sorry that doesn't work with my schedule".

No explanation of why-leaves room for them to think they can bargain/negotiate. Slightly nicer that a flat out "no, I can't do that" but you can always fall back on this if they don't get the hint.

[Anonymous]

(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

[Anonymous]

Fun fact: it's okay to say no without giving a reason. That's a totally legitimate thing to do.

"Sorry, I can't."
but whyyyyyyyy? I'll payyyyyy you?
"I'm sorry, I can't."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

Don't do this. It's way too wordy and gives them wiggle room to try to offer you solutions to make it work. You need to say a firm "this doesn't work for me" and nothing further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

[Anonymous]

Express sympathy and give a hard no, it won’t work. You can throw in something about mornings being too crazy if you want. Do not leave the door open for negotiation or emergencies. They clearly intend to use you for buffer time before the bell because otherwise they would just drop their kids off themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(Open with sympathy and how much the school sucks)

So, I actually work from home and I have a very short window of time that I'm able to run out and drop DS (if you want, insert something about having lots of meetings or a micromanaging boss). I usually barely manage to drop him off before the bell. If I had to add another child, I'm not confident I could get them there on time. I really wish I could help!

That is WAY too wordy and you don't owe anyone a reason why your answer is no. Plus, if you give one that gives people encouragement to problem solve. Just say no.

PP. I get that, but if I wanted to maintain good social relationships with these people, I'd give some kind of reason, even if a less wordy one.

No, if you want to maintain a relationship then you should help your friends when they need help. You want the benefits of a friendship without the commitment/follow through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry that doesn't work with my schedule".

No explanation of why-leaves room for them to think they can bargain/negotiate. Slightly nicer that a flat out "no, I can't do that" but you can always fall back on this if they don't get the hint.

This. The extra info gives them a perception that they can solve the problem and get you to do it.

[Anonymous]

“I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

[Anonymous]

"That won't work for me."

[Anonymous]

So could the kids get dropped off at your house and walk together to school? I’d do it if the situation is temporary. Sounds like they’re trying to hire more bus drivers.

I’d hate to say flat out no and all of a sudden find that my kid wasn’t being invited to birthday parties and such.

[Anonymous]

Hey, it’s cool our kids are friends, hard nope from me, I do not like helping friends. For the record I just picked up 2 kids that are not mine because they would also help me

[Anonymous]

Say sorry, my morning schedule is too tight. But I heard Abby’s parents and Brandon’s parents are looking for a carpool, you should check with them.