Dear MILs

[Anonymous]

Some of the common signs of hyper-independence can include:
Mistrust in others.
Perfectionism.
Avoiding dependence on others.
Little to no close relationships.
Not wanting to ask for help.
Anxiety and depression.
Taking on too many responsibilities.
Stress and burnout.

https://www.verywellmind.com/hyper-independence-and-trauma-5524773

Get help for this now before you destroy a bunch of lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

You're not handling it well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Keep proving my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

[Anonymous]

Im going to chime into all of this madness to say this.

This thread is making me want to call up my mil now and say how much I appreciate her for welcoming me into her family with open arms, never judging me, and truly loving me as a member of her family.

She shows genuine interest in me more than just the wife to her son and takes an interest in my career goals and my life overall.

So all of this your mil will never care about you and sees you as someone who is there to just take care of her son and produce grandkids for her is full of it.

Actually come to think of it maybe I should call my mil up and say she is doing it all wrong she should have been treating me like shit, seeing me as a baby making factory, and making sure I’m making her son’s life easier.

This thread is almost making me feel weird for having a close and loving relationship with my mil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

So you have childhood trauma, right?

Lots of people decide. You, your H, the babysitter, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, coaches, etc.

You won’t be able to control every person who comes into contact with your child nor should you.

Have you had therapy for your trauma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

She's upset her MIL was concerned about a potentially ill grandchild. Please get some help OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?[/quote

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.