Dear MILs

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Please explain how asking how your son is feeling is getting involved in his marriage?

And you will be aPIT MIL because you can't stand not being the center of attention or not having the last world.
Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?[/quote

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

I rarely do this but I'm goona call Troll. If you aren't a troll you seriously need some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

No, a wife doesn’t all alone fulfill all her H’s needs, nor will a h fulfill all his W’s needs.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.

Then why wait until the wife isn’t around to say it? There is clearly a deeper motive there.

Also what’s her point in saying that? Does she hope her son will open up to her and say, “yes mom I’m so tired my wife makes me do my fair share in parenting as the child’s father.”

I’m tired too you know but mil didn’t give a rats ass about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

I rarely do this but I'm goona call Troll. If you aren't a troll you seriously need some help.

I actually don’t think it’s a troll, maybe I’m wrong.

She has all the class signs of childhood trauma. She’s so clear in her head on what’s right and wrong, black-and-white thinking, hyper vigilant, controlling, and ultra independent.. and thinks these are all positive features they’re actually toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

No, a wife doesn’t all alone fulfill all her H’s needs, nor will a h fulfill all his W’s needs.

Ok but I was going through a lot more major issues than my husband ever was and not once did my mil ask about me or show any concern.

Isn’t being tired kinda part for the course for a first time parent of a young baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

I rarely do this but I'm goona call Troll. If you aren't a troll you seriously need some help.

I actually don’t think it’s a troll, maybe I’m wrong.

She has all the class signs of childhood trauma. She’s so clear in her head on what’s right and wrong, black-and-white thinking, hyper vigilant, controlling, and ultra independent.. and thinks these are all positive features they’re actually toxic.

I think she writes in exactly the same style as MIL Boyfriend thread- but that thread wasn't going the way she wanted, so she started another thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.

Then why wait until the wife isn’t around to say it? There is clearly a deeper motive there.

Also what’s her point in saying that? Does she hope her son will open up to her and say, “yes mom I’m so tired my wife makes me do my fair share in parenting as the child’s father.”

I’m tired too you know but mil didn’t give a rats ass about that.

Why no. Not everyone plans their conversations. Are they not supposed to speak when you leave the room?

There is no deeper motive she thought her son looked tired and she said well you look tired.

The point is for him to say yes while I’m tired thanks for noticing. I love you too.

Nobody is saying if your husband is tired that he’s being asked to do too much that’s kind of insane with thinking.

Are you saying that your husband can never be tired and if he is that you’re failing as a wife?

You know if she would’ve said wow you look tired you would’ve been so upset that she’s saying you look terrible or something. You would be like of course I’m tired I have a four month old. How dare you point that out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.

Then why wait until the wife isn’t around to say it? There is clearly a deeper motive there.

Also what’s her point in saying that? Does she hope her son will open up to her and say, “yes mom I’m so tired my wife makes me do my fair share in parenting as the child’s father.”

I’m tired too you know but mil didn’t give a rats ass about that.

You're a real piece of work. That's why she waited until you were out of the room. No doubt you would have answered the question for him. Is he allowed to answer any questions without consulting you first? How short is the leash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay I haven’t read all the comments but I absolutely KNOW for a fact that it is possible to cause a rift between parent and child if child is influenced by someone else who is unfortunately not mentally well or just an evil person.
I am not a MIL FWIW

Again if the grown man allows himself to be influenced by his wife when in 2024 he has his own car and cell phone that’s a him problem. Take that up with your actual child not their spouse. Your child is the one.

It’s not specific to men. Read Rules of Estrangement, it’s a great book.

Again stop placing the blame on the DIl for the actions of your son. Your DIl doesn’t have some sort of magic vaginal power.

Please tell me if your son is a full fledged adult how you can blame his wife for his own actions?

Did she take his cell phone and car keys? Did she duct tape his mouth shut?

Mils love to place the blame on the DILs because their sons are checked out instead of facing up to the fact that their son just isn’t into them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

You might want to check yourself into a hospital before you get too bad and the state might say otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

No, a wife doesn’t all alone fulfill all her H’s needs, nor will a h fulfill all his W’s needs.

Ok but I was going through a lot more major issues than my husband ever was and not once did my mil ask about me or show any concern.

Isn’t being tired kinda part for the course for a first time parent of a young baby?

You said you switch off nights. You're getting a good night's sleep every other night. You don't realize how good you have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

No, a wife doesn’t all alone fulfill all her H’s needs, nor will a h fulfill all his W’s needs.

Ok but I was going through a lot more major issues than my husband ever was and not once did my mil ask about me or show any concern.

Isn’t being tired kinda part for the course for a first time parent of a young baby?

It’s not a contest. There’s no such thing as the suffering Olympics.

You obviously had a hard pregnancy and are not handling the infant stage very well. But if I was your friend, I would ask how you were doing I wouldn’t say oh I’m not gonna ask you how you’re doing because my other best friend had a harder delivery. Do you get it?

It doesn’t matter if it’s par for course, people are allowed to ask you if you’re tired.

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Anonymous wrote:You are a small-minded and miserable woman. And your husband is dumb enough to report back to you what she said (also you don’t know if he exaggerated to rile you up). You two sound like a good match.

How am I small minded? Because I call MILs out on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Let’s see how you react when your mil does the same thing.

So let's be clear here. It's Mils's business to ask how your pregnancy is going. if you are feeling well if you are tired? However it's not her business to ask how her son is doing? If she asks after her son she is judging you and your marriage.

Do I have this correct?

My point is that I had a super rough pregnancy and labor which is a lot more than her son went through yet she didn’t seem to care about me at all because she never asked but her son seems tired which is a natural thing for a first time parent of a young baby and she acts concerned about.

Also interesting how we were together all day and then she waifs until I leave the room to ask my husband that question.

That’s the part that really stuck out to me that it was her passive aggressive way of hinting that I’m not doing enough.

Oh so you're a controlling narcissist.. This entire thing makes sense now

How am I a controlling narcissist? I told you my mil didn’t ask about me at all and a tough pregnancy and labor is a lot more serious than seeming tired.

That’s what bothered me she seemed to only view me as an incubator for her grandchild.

So her precious baby boy is tied. It’s not good mil to not show any concern for your DIl.

Where are your parents? Are they scared of you too?

Because I’m upset people must be afraid of me.

Well, where are your parents?

Why is that relevant? They live on the other side of the country.

So they didn't bother to come out to help you postpartum? No phone calls? Nothing? Or did you forbid that because you wanted to do it all on your own and it would be this great fun bonding time. But that's not reality, and now you realize you that it's not working you lash at your MIL

My mom wanted to come out but I said no because my husband and I can handle it. She came out for a week when the baby was 2 months old.

As I thought. Narcissitc control freak.

So wouldn’t it be worse if I didn’t apply the rules to both mil and my own mother?

A control freak? This is my own child. Don’t I as a mother have a right to say who and when can be around my child?

This is my own mother. Who else would make that decision?

Hmmm. Do mothers have a right or not? If you have the right now, at what point do you lose that right?

My mother doesn’t have more rights to my child than I do.

Interesting. Do you cease to be a mom when he gets married?

Umm no? But I know that I certainly won’t come before his wife or husband if he has one. And I know for sure it’s not my place to get involved in my grown son’s marriage either. I will know my place.

Telling your child they look tired is not “coming between” a marriage.

Then why wait until the wife isn’t around to say it? There is clearly a deeper motive there.

Also what’s her point in saying that? Does she hope her son will open up to her and say, “yes mom I’m so tired my wife makes me do my fair share in parenting as the child’s father.”

I’m tired too you know but mil didn’t give a rats ass about that.

Why no. Not everyone plans their conversations. Are they not supposed to speak when you leave the room?

There is no deeper motive she thought her son looked tired and she said well you look tired.

The point is for him to say yes while I’m tired thanks for noticing. I love you too.

Nobody is saying if your husband is tired that he’s being asked to do too much that’s kind of insane with thinking.

Are you saying that your husband can never be tired and if he is that you’re failing as a wife?

You know if she would’ve said wow you look tired you would’ve been so upset that she’s saying you look terrible or something. You would be like of course I’m tired I have a four month old. How dare you point that out?

I guess yea if my husband looks overly tired in my mind that means I am not doing enough of the mothering.

Also why would my husband thank his mother for noticing he seems tired. If looking tired isn’t a good characteristic? She isn’t saying you look handsome.

Also it would be super shitty of my husband to thank his mom for noticing he looks tired when he knows his mom didn’t care about his wife. He would be signing off on the behavior that it’s ok for his mom to not care about his wife. When his mom mentioned he looked tired I’m wondering why my husband didn’t immediately ask his mom and take up for his wife asking why when I went through hell with my pregnancy she didn’t ask about me.

And again she didn’t take the time to check on me or show concern when I was going through the difficult pregnancy.

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Anonymous wrote:wtf with this obsession that you are an incubator. That’s not normal thinking.

Well my mil proved that to be the case when she never asked how I was doing but worried just about my husband and then when the doctor thought our child might have some issues which he didn’t mil was all concerned hence the incubator comment. So no concern for her DIl the actual human being carrying the child. So I’m merely an incubator.

So you’re right it’s not normal to view someone as an incubator but you’re telling that to the wrong person tell that to mil.

I literally had co workers CO WORKERS give me cards when my pregnancy got really tough. With family they should care more than co workers.

Do you try to control who your coworkers can speak to or do you act reasonably normal around them and allow them to speak to each other outside of your earshot?

Again the issue was if it was a mundane innocent question my mil was asking my husband why wait until I was out of the room to ask it? That’s what makes me think it was a passive aggressive comment and there’s more that meets the eye to it.

During all of my pregnancy trouble she didn’t give a shit about how I was feeling or what I was going through but yet her precious baby boy seems a little tired and mommy needs to check up on him and fix it.

Doesn’t she realize that his wife will check up on him as his wife and make sure he is ok.

I rarely do this but I'm goona call Troll. If you aren't a troll you seriously need some help.

I actually don’t think it’s a troll, maybe I’m wrong.

She has all the class signs of childhood trauma. She’s so clear in her head on what’s right and wrong, black-and-white thinking, hyper vigilant, controlling, and ultra independent.. and thinks these are all positive features they’re actually toxic.

I think she writes in exactly the same style as MIL Boyfriend thread- but that thread wasn't going the way she wanted, so she started another thread.

I just skimmed it and that chick is crazy too. Idk they might be the same but the other one sounds to be foreign born.