Vent about marrying someone from a very underdeveloped country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll! Look at the time stamp when OP posts. Bangladesh is 11 hours ahead of here. So there is no way she would be posting here in the wee hours of the morning while in Bangladesh.

Op here. Yes, I am a troll here you are woken up by roosters and the call to prayer. I have been waking up at 4-5 am every day. Some nights I never slept because I slept too much in the daytime or I was lying awake hungry and had to wait until , 4-5 am to get up. We all sleep in the same bed (dh and 2 kids) surrounded by a mosquito net and we need to secure it under the mattress whenever we get up. I have never been to India but I have been told it's more modern than Bangladesh. In Dhaka, the traffic is so crazy. There aren't crosswalks. You have cars coming at you while you're trying to get across the street.

So don’t go or learn to deal with it. You married a man from a third world country. That’s how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Are these ILs misinformed enough to think it’s posh to eat boxed crap?

The ILs have nothing to do with it. My kids refuse to eat their food, and we aren't going to force them. We were also advised by doctors in the US that boxed food would be better for most of the trip. Our kids won't even eat oatmeal and bananas in the US. It sucks, but what can you do other than force them to eat other foods? They did eat Turkish lentil soup and other Turkish food when we visited Turkey at the start of our trip. I am starting to feel sick today, and our 3-year-old is also. It's hard to enjoy food when you are constantly worried about getting sick. It's much easier for me to prepare noodles or pancakes and be done with it.

That’s a parenting fail, not a reflection on the local cuisine.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you just find a white guy to get married to?

I’m guessing white guys that you liked didn’t give you the time of day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Are these ILs misinformed enough to think it’s posh to eat boxed crap?

The ILs have nothing to do with it. My kids refuse to eat their food, and we aren't going to force them. We were also advised by doctors in the US that boxed food would be better for most of the trip. Our kids won't even eat oatmeal and bananas in the US. It sucks, but what can you do other than force them to eat other foods? They did eat Turkish lentil soup and other Turkish food when we visited Turkey at the start of our trip. I am starting to feel sick today, and our 3-year-old is also. It's hard to enjoy food when you are constantly worried about getting sick. It's much easier for me to prepare noodles or pancakes and be done with it.

That’s a parenting fail, not a reflection on the local cuisine.

We all ended up in cipro after falling ill from stomach infections in our Instanbul trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

Which world are you living in? In my village, besides pizza places, there are fancy ice cream parlors too, a 20 minute drive away. Many homes have at least 1 Western toilet.

Granted they are not that clean in restaurants and such but then again I hate using the mall bathrooms here too.

Which world do you think I'm living in?

[Anonymous]

This thread made me think bucket baths make way more sense than showers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread made me think bucket baths make way more sense than showers!

They save a lot of water. I got used to nice steamy showers but when my family visits from India they still prefer bucket baths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

Which world are you living in? In my village, besides pizza places, there are fancy ice cream parlors too, a 20 minute drive away. Many homes have at least 1 Western toilet.

Granted they are not that clean in restaurants and such but then again I hate using the mall bathrooms here too.

Which world do you think I'm living in?

The world of the clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely sounds like India

Do they have pizza restaurants in India?

No, Indian people are only allowed to eat Indian food.

Why are you saying this, do you think this is what I've implied by asking if pizza restaurants are in India?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread made me think bucket baths make way more sense than showers!

They save a lot of water. I got used to nice steamy showers but when my family visits from India they still prefer bucket baths.

+1. They are much better for the environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Are these ILs misinformed enough to think it’s posh to eat boxed crap?

The ILs have nothing to do with it. My kids refuse to eat their food, and we aren't going to force them. We were also advised by doctors in the US that boxed food would be better for most of the trip. Our kids won't even eat oatmeal and bananas in the US. It sucks, but what can you do other than force them to eat other foods? They did eat Turkish lentil soup and other Turkish food when we visited Turkey at the start of our trip. I am starting to feel sick today, and our 3-year-old is also. It's hard to enjoy food when you are constantly worried about getting sick. It's much easier for me to prepare noodles or pancakes and be done with it.

That’s a parenting fail, not a reflection on the local cuisine.

Agree. Items that are cooked on high heat, steamed, or fried (so basically all Indian food) should be safe to eat…

[Anonymous]

Visiting anyone for a month is difficult.

Living in a poor rural area is difficult, more so if you don't know language and local culture.

Living with In-laws is difficult.

Traveling with young kids and uncooperative spouse is difficult.

I do have some questions.

Why you didn't visit before marrying him?

Why you didn't research and prepare yourself?

Treat it as an adventure. Next time tell DH that either trip has to be shorter or he needs to let you pack accordingly.

At least you've good internet service and in-laws are nice.

I'm also from a third world country though middle class and from a big city, even i would have problems living in a poor rural town with a DH who is not helping find solutions because he is trying to prove something to his people.

You can have these discussions with DH later,for now make lemonade with your given lemons.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is a dumb question, but how do you take a bucket bath?

[Anonymous]

* It seems you don't know your DH well either and you two can't communicate well. That needs to improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll! Look at the time stamp when OP posts. Bangladesh is 11 hours ahead of here. So there is no way she would be posting here in the wee hours of the morning while in Bangladesh.

Op here. Yes, I am a troll here you are woken up by roosters and the call to prayer. I have been waking up at 4-5 am every day. Some nights I never slept because I slept too much in the daytime or I was lying awake hungry and had to wait until , 4-5 am to get up. We all sleep in the same bed (dh and 2 kids) surrounded by a mosquito net and we need to secure it under the mattress whenever we get up. I have never been to India but I have been told it's more modern than Bangladesh. In Dhaka, the traffic is so crazy. There aren't crosswalks. You have cars coming at you while you're trying to get across the street.

So don’t go or learn to deal with it. You married a man from a third world country. That’s how it is.

Her DH goes back home to visit and acts as if he lives near the poverty line back home in the US. Read her posts (and some here from others with spouses from underdeveloped countries). Pretending they don't live like they live back here in the US, because the sons fear their families back home will consider them wealthy when they just have normal American mortgages. Telling OP that they will take the kids shopping for clothes in the home country then saying no, probably because he fears being seen buying stuff for his kids. Not wanting anyone in the family back home to think the expat son has money; not caring if his DW and kids get sick, etc. Jerk behaviors born out of fear he'll insult, upset or get money requests from relatives back home. OP needs to tell him, no more month-long trips. He goes solo if he wants to go that long. It sounds like he twists himself into a pretzel in order to appear like he lives in the US just like they live there. I am NOT saying he should flaunt what likely is comparable wealth, but he seems to be the problem, insisting on a month-long stay when he should know it's made his wife and kids ill in the past.