I asked out a 19/20 year old girl today who I thought was a grown adult woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

Well, he is a 40 yr old divorced man. Even if the woman looked like a 25 yr old, he is super creepy for hitting on her while she is walking, and hitting on her because of the age difference.

He claims he could not see her face. That is worse. He is hitting on her based on her body? The body of a young woman wearing exercise clothes? He is just so gross!

That’s called attraction. Call the police.

The police wouldl have a good laugh. What would he be charged with? Talking?

It's not harrassment unless a person refuses to stop/leave when asked to do so.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single 40s man who frequently works at a coffee shop on the border between a university and a residential family neighborhood. I often find myself unable to tell if a woman is an undergrad, a graduate student, or a mom. Sometimes it's obvious; sometimes it's not. I've tried to strike up something with a woman only a few times, and only with women I'd seen routinely and had some casual interaction with already because I don't want to be that guy who's on the prowl. Anyway, I do think it's legit to not always be able to tell the woman's age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single 40s man who frequently works at a coffee shop on the border between a university and a residential family neighborhood. I often find myself unable to tell if a woman is an undergrad, a graduate student, or a mom. Sometimes it's obvious; sometimes it's not. I've tried to strike up something with a woman only a few times, and only with women I'd seen routinely and had some casual interaction with already because I don't want to be that guy who's on the prowl. Anyway, I do think it's legit to not always be able to tell the woman's age.

Not according to the posters here. A man shoud always know and he's a creep if he makes a mistake. There's no room for error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single 40s man who frequently works at a coffee shop on the border between a university and a residential family neighborhood. I often find myself unable to tell if a woman is an undergrad, a graduate student, or a mom. Sometimes it's obvious; sometimes it's not. I've tried to strike up something with a woman only a few times, and only with women I'd seen routinely and had some casual interaction with already because I don't want to be that guy who's on the prowl. Anyway, I do think it's legit to not always be able to tell the woman's age.

Not according to the posters here. A man shoud always know and he's a creep if he makes a mistake. There's no room for error.

JFC. Or, you know, he could have enough conversation with the woman to a) sense whether she is interested and b) know roughly how old she is. Conversational tip: if a woman is receptive to being asked out, she will *want to talk to you.* You won't have trouble having conversation, and in this conversation, she will drop details about her life, from which you can ascertain her age. (Also women can be both undergrads, grad students, AND moms at the same time, but that's another issue.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

It relates because running up on women you don't know because they look cute in shorts and asking them out is creepy behavior. It's not healthy behavior. It's not going to get OP where he wants (presumably, a date with an attractive and sane age-appropriate woman who is interested in him). It's not successful dating behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

It relates because running up on women you don't know because they look cute in shorts and asking them out is creepy behavior. It's not healthy behavior. It's not going to get OP where he wants (presumably, a date with an attractive and sane age-appropriate woman who is interested in him). It's not successful dating behavior.

Dude, your anecdote is nowhere near close to the situation. It's not even relevant. Perhaps you don't understand how to compare two similar circumstances. Having someone threaten to burn your house down is nowhere near what OP did, nor what anyone would consider reasonable behavior. Stop with your fear mongering and extremism.

Hopefully, the sane dating world will not listen to lunatics like yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If men hitting on women they just happen across were evenly distributed across the population of women it wouldn't be so bad since it would happen to any individual women only occasionally. In real life the young and conventionally good looking get this unsolicited attention all the time, even more so if they use public transportation or are otherwise in public spaces alone a lot. It's not fun at all.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

42 y/o men shouldn’t stare at teenagers out their windows for “months” and then ask them out while they’re walking alone.

It seems really, really weird that someone has to tell you that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single 40s man who frequently works at a coffee shop on the border between a university and a residential family neighborhood. I often find myself unable to tell if a woman is an undergrad, a graduate student, or a mom. Sometimes it's obvious; sometimes it's not. I've tried to strike up something with a woman only a few times, and only with women I'd seen routinely and had some casual interaction with already because I don't want to be that guy who's on the prowl. Anyway, I do think it's legit to not always be able to tell the woman's age.

Not according to the posters here. A man shoud always know and he's a creep if he makes a mistake. There's no room for error.

JFC. Or, you know, he could have enough conversation with the woman to a) sense whether she is interested and b) know roughly how old she is. Conversational tip: if a woman is receptive to being asked out, she will *want to talk to you.* You won't have trouble having conversation, and in this conversation, she will drop details about her life, from which you can ascertain her age. (Also women can be both undergrads, grad students, AND moms at the same time, but that's another issue.)

Just so you know, a person cannot be an undergraduate and a graduate student at the same time. Now, yes, someone could be a student and a mom at the same time, but that's definitely not the norm. Moreover, the meaning was clear that "mom" referred to someone older and closer to the man's age, but you would rather continue the ascendant practices of being obtuse in the name of inclusivity and using edge cases to condemn common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

42 y/o men shouldn’t stare at teenagers out their windows for “months” and then ask them out while they’re walking alone.

It seems really, really weird that someone has to tell you that.

Men shouldn’t look out their windows and notice people? Men shouldn’t strike up conversations with women who are alone in public in broad daylight? You’ve got to be kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

It relates because running up on women you don't know because they look cute in shorts and asking them out is creepy behavior. It's not healthy behavior. It's not going to get OP where he wants (presumably, a date with an attractive and sane age-appropriate woman who is interested in him). It's not successful dating behavior.

Dude, your anecdote is nowhere near close to the situation. It's not even relevant. Perhaps you don't understand how to compare two similar circumstances. Having someone threaten to burn your house down is nowhere near what OP did, nor what anyone would consider reasonable behavior. Stop with your fear mongering and extremism.

Hopefully, the sane dating world will not listen to lunatics like yourself

Where did I say OP was exactly the same? My anecdote was to let OP know that his behavior is indeed on the creepy end of things. With your black & white thinking, please stick to online dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

42 y/o men shouldn’t stare at teenagers out their windows for “months” and then ask them out while they’re walking alone.

It seems really, really weird that someone has to tell you that.

Men shouldn’t look out their windows and notice people? Men shouldn’t strike up conversations with women who are alone in public in broad daylight? You’ve got to be kidding.

Men should not hit on women who are exercising in public. The fact that he had been ogling her out the window and liked the way she looks in shorts does not give him license to hit on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single 40s man who frequently works at a coffee shop on the border between a university and a residential family neighborhood. I often find myself unable to tell if a woman is an undergrad, a graduate student, or a mom. Sometimes it's obvious; sometimes it's not. I've tried to strike up something with a woman only a few times, and only with women I'd seen routinely and had some casual interaction with already because I don't want to be that guy who's on the prowl. Anyway, I do think it's legit to not always be able to tell the woman's age.

Not according to the posters here. A man shoud always know and he's a creep if he makes a mistake. There's no room for error.

JFC. Or, you know, he could have enough conversation with the woman to a) sense whether she is interested and b) know roughly how old she is. Conversational tip: if a woman is receptive to being asked out, she will *want to talk to you.* You won't have trouble having conversation, and in this conversation, she will drop details about her life, from which you can ascertain her age. (Also women can be both undergrads, grad students, AND moms at the same time, but that's another issue.)

Just so you know, a person cannot be an undergraduate and a graduate student at the same time. Now, yes, someone could be a student and a mom at the same time, but that's definitely not the norm. Moreover, the meaning was clear that "mom" referred to someone older and closer to the man's age, but you would rather continue the ascendant practices of being obtuse in the name of inclusivity and using edge cases to condemn common sense.

Common sense that women fall into two categories for OP: “young” and “mom.” Lol.

[Anonymous]

You MRAs are so funny. Do you actually think that just because you feel entitled to talk to women in a certain way, that means women like it? If you actually wanted to successfully date, maybe you would … you know, listen to what women say and take it seriously? It’s almost as if actually pleasing women isn’t your agenda.