I asked out a 19/20 year old girl today who I thought was a grown adult woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you are a creep because you go into great detail to describe this woman's appearance. You then go on to describe how she looked startled and uncomfortable, and you decided that was a perfect time to make your move. Come on.

She must not have been so startled and uncomfortable since she chatted with him for a while about the weather and hilly streets. The conversation only ended when he asked her out and she shut him down.

He literally said in the post that he startled her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women peak in fertility and appearance around the age of 21. I’d rather marry at 20 y/o waitress than a 30 y/o lawyer.

Wrong. I looked better at 33 than 21. Got pregnant one try at 34 and 37.

You are moron.

It doesn’t matter how you looked. The fertility part pp said is true.

What a funny argument. Like 42yo OP needs someone at peak fertility so he can have 17 kids to work the fields and care for the livestock

Most people want 2-3 kids and there's plenty of time for that at 30yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women peak in fertility and appearance around the age of 21. I’d rather marry at 20 y/o waitress than a 30 y/o lawyer.

Wrong. I looked better at 33 than 21. Got pregnant one try at 34 and 37.

You are moron.

It doesn’t matter how you looked. The fertility part pp said is true.

Wrong. Fertility cliff myth at 40 has been debunked. Fertility is not as associated with age of people think people who have fertility problems in their 30s would’ve had the same problems in their 20s in many many cases there’s been multiple articles about this in the last five years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read every responses but just my two cents.

Maybe OP didn't know she was 19/20 but I doubt she looked 35 either. At best maybe he thought she was mid 20s which as a 42 year man is borderline creepy.

However people saying he was creepy for just noticing her - I am a woman in my 40s and go running in my neighborhood often. I've had numerous random people approach me when I've been out and about and tell me they see me running in the mornings and comment on my discipline etc. - both men and women. It's a little weird to me, but people are always watching apparently.

But bottom line is, OP backed off which was the right thing to do. But still borderline creepy because he seems to be drawn to very young looking women instead of someone closer to his own age.

If the bolded indicates creepy then 100% of men are creepy. However, being drawn to a certain type of female does not mean it's ok to approach them for a date.

[Anonymous]

You didn’t know, OP! You’ll laugh about this eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel gross.

I’m a 42 y/o divorced dad and live in a leafy UMC neighborhood. I WFH full time. For the past few weeks/months I’ve seen someone who looked to be a woman in her 30s speed walking and occasionally running in my neighborhood. She is about 5”3 and wears dark sunglasses, baseball cap, shorts, running sneakers & a tank top. Has long brown hair & is in amazing shape from what I could tell based on looking at her.

Anyway, I was out walking today and saw her. I must’ve startled her by walking far behind her on the same sidewalk. She looked behind, and that’s when I finally decided I would make a move. She looked a little startled, but I introduced myself and we both kept walking together. She quickly started chatting with me, and I complimented her on her walking/running. We were talking about how nice it was out & how hilly the neighborhood is. She spoke like a grown adult & seemed very confident. Anyway, as I was about to make a turn on my route after a few blocks, I asked her if she’d like to meet again and if there was any way I could contact her. She kindly but swiftly shut that down; she said “That is nice of you, but I am going back to college for the summer next week. Good luck with your walking” I said thank you and made a turn.

This girl was probably 19 years old & taking walks from her parents house. I feel like a creep.

No laws would have been broken if you consummated a relationship with her. She is an adult and has agency. She can say yes or no...go for it.

[Anonymous]

IDK, maybe she’s a 28 yo grad student.

[Anonymous]

Wow, the virtue signaling is strong with this one. By all means, you should beat yourself with a bath brush or similar implement, then go to church and beg for forgiveness. But not before you get enough attention here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.

Lol. For someone who likely purports to be an advocate for men, you sure have a low opinion of their capabilities.

Most men can easily understand that there is a time and a place to ask women on a date, and it is not while they are exercising after never having spoken to you before.

I’ve met one man who would literally hang out on street corners trying to pick up women as they walked past. It would work 1/100 times. This dude was possibly the creepiest and most mentally unstable man I have met - he threatened to burn my house down eventually.

how does that even remotely relate to OP who was respectful and left her alone after the rejection? And where was I advocating for young men? Lord, you people read so much into these posts that isn't even there.

Men should ask women out. Women should be able to ask men out. It should be respectful. We shouldn't be scared to talk to one another because of harpies like the PP

42 y/o men shouldn’t stare at teenagers out their windows for “months” and then ask them out while they’re walking alone.

It seems really, really weird that someone has to tell you that.

Men shouldn’t look out their windows and notice people? Men shouldn’t strike up conversations with women who are alone in public in broad daylight? You’ve got to be kidding.

Men should not hit on women who are exercising in public. The fact that he had been ogling her out the window and liked the way she looks in shorts does not give him license to hit on her.

What a weird rule about not talking to women who are exercising outside.

What a weird thing that you cannot understand this.

It's so hard to be pretty.

[Anonymous]

Eww. Don’t approach women on the street. And if you’re 42, how about looking for women your own age instead of 12 years younger. You didn’t know she was 20, but you for damn sure knew she wasn’t 42. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Excellent troll. It uses the usual older man/younger woman concept that really sets people off, but with a unique twist that it was unintentional. Still followed the classic style of coming back a few times, then disappearing.

15 pages so far -- good job!

[Anonymous]

Idk I’m a 38yo woman who assume men can be on the creepo side and if you were my friend and I’d just die laughing and tell you not to worry. Here’s what you did right: it was day time in a familiar place. You obviously weren’t being creepy or she wouldn’t have strolled with you. Although yorue a stranger on the internet, I bet you were putting out normal vibes. You found out her age and now you’re so embarrassed—a lot of men would have been like YES actually please reconsider your no!!!!! Pressure pressure!!!

But also if you were my friend I’d tease you for at least two or three more weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The important thing is that you stopped when you had a ballpark idea of her age.

A weirdo would not have been fazed in the slightest.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Please leave women alone when they’re exercising.

2. You really, really mistook a 19 y/o for a 30 y/o? Or did you think early 20s and trying to make yourself look better?

3. How good shape you thought she was in and her shorts and tank top description make this a super creepy post.

4. You come across creepy in your post, you’re worried about being creepy, OP you know the expression about things that look like ducks…

Honestly, +1 to all of this. I find it hard to believe that you thought she was 30+. I also think that if she had been receptive, instead of shutting you down, you would have gone for it.

You chased down a teenager while she was exercising and hit on her. She handled it well, but you need to not do that.

Not hard at all if someone is wearing sunglasses & a hat. You basically can’t see their hair or face.

So, he could not see her face, but based on her body, he creeped up to her and asked her out when she was out walking? Ugh! What a creep! He is the age to be her father. C'mon. Do better.

He's only 42. Pretty rare to have kids at 23 in "leafy UMC neighborhoods."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, the virtue signaling is strong with this one. By all means, you should beat yourself with a bath brush or similar implement, then go to church and beg for forgiveness. But not before you get enough attention here.

+1, "I'm not like other guys, I'm one of the good ones!"