DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

I mean, you can find my name on their website. But okay! (and quasi-public .. eyeroll)

Well, your eyeroll just confirmed that you do not know much about Cornell University.

DP. I know nothing about Cornell, but as a senior tech exec whose posts about CS are often criticized by SAHPs whose familiarity with CS seems to come from TV shows, I sympathize with the eye roller who — unlike most — seems to actually know that they are talking about.

Dismissive PP’s post is the epitome of DCUM ignorance and arrogance. This forum is Dunning Kruger central.

Unfortnately, you were writing your post while you should have been reading. Clearly, you know little to nothing about Cornell University and its seven colleges--four of which are partially funded by the state of New York.

I think everyone here knows this. And did you know William & Mary is a public school? Zzzzz. Let's move on.

Not everyone. Apparently, the poster who brought up Cornell was unaware of this fact. Guess you were sleeping during that part of the discussion (Zzzzz).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you taken your son to visit the college in question? Even if you did, maybe a second visit would be helpful before making a decision? I think I'd probably be okay with a gap year under the circumstances, if he really doesn't like it.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Farm year would make a good essay and interview material for admission next year. He can also learn a new language (even a tech one) or polish his second language to advance level with online courses.

According to OP, the student has worked on the farm during prior summers.

Yup but one whole year as a full time employee and few weeks during summer vacations with grandparents are completely different experiences.

as is working on a farm that your grandparents own vs someone else owns.

100% agree.

[Anonymous]

What about his application would change from last year to this year? I mean, his GPA etc will all be the same, he will just be a year older.

Working on a farm is not enough to be a differentiator in an application.

Also, most who take gap years have deferred their acceptance, so have a landing spot. What happens if he tried again and doesn't get in anywhere again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Totally disagree with those who say working on the farm for a year will make applying to college more difficult. Colleges will understand the maturity this kind of work builds and will value that. He will do better with admissions after a year on the farm, and will have had a chance to clear his head and figure out exactly what he wants.

This is just wrong. Generally, gap years are fine if a student is deferring an acceptance. Colleges have been transparent that a gap year rarely improves an application. Students don’t have enough time between graduation and submitting new applications to meaningfully improve their profile, and getting letters of recommendation, etc. becomes much more difficult. Who will write an updating recommendation to address the gap time? Obviously, the grandparents cannot do this.

The best advice in this thread is to engage a knowledgeable private counselor to do a post-mortem on this application cycle and discuss the gap year plan and it’s implications.

+1
If targets and safeties were picked appropriately, the kid should have gotten into more than 1 of them. So they kid needs a college counselor to help pick a good list. However, with senioritis and possibly lower grades 2nd semester, I'm not sure how the kid will be any more impressive for the next round of applications. Sounds like the kid needs to wrap their head around the fact they targeting "too high" of schools and they might only have more success with targeting "lower ranked schools" and if the kid does not like where they got accepted, they may not like where else they can get into.
Sounds like kid is just upset they only got into 1 school and is making a drastic decision based on that.

Not all gap years are created equal. This one will be much more compelling than many and should help. No, I'm not saying he'll get into the 10 schools that turned him down, just that he'll be a more interesting candidate in general than he was this year. He will approach choosing which colleges to apply to with greater knowledge of himself and what he wants, and this will lead to a better list, hopefully filled with colleges he'll be happy with if accepted.

Disagree. He has already worked on this farm in previous summers. it doesn't add anything new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

I mean, you can find my name on their website. But okay! (and quasi-public .. eyeroll)

Well, your eyeroll just confirmed that you do not know much about Cornell University.

DP. I know nothing about Cornell, but as a senior tech exec whose posts about CS are often criticized by SAHPs whose familiarity with CS seems to come from TV shows, I sympathize with the eye roller who — unlike most — seems to actually know that they are talking about.

Dismissive PP’s post is the epitome of DCUM ignorance and arrogance. This forum is Dunning Kruger central.

Unfortnately, you were writing your post while you should have been reading. Clearly, you know little to nothing about Cornell University and its seven colleges--four of which are partially funded by the state of New York.

I think everyone here knows this. And did you know William & Mary is a public school? Zzzzz. Let's move on.

Not everyone. Apparently, the poster who brought up Cornell was unaware of this fact. Guess you were sleeping during that part of the discussion (Zzzzz).

Again, I am highly aware of how SUNY and Cornell work at CALS. I just think BRINGING IT UP AT ALL ("quasi-public) is just typical close-minded DCUM bs tbh.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the other posts so forgive me if this has already been said.

1) if DS goes to work on farm, can't he defer the current acceptance for a year so that even if he fails to procure a better acceptance next year, he is in no worse position (and probably better, more mature)

2) another thought is that DS will likely do better in the "better school lottery" if he attends the college for freshman year, take classes best suited for him to do well in (high GPA), and then submit transfer applications (potentially even for spring admissions if schools he's interested in allow that)

3) if he takes a year off (even if he defers entry to his current acceptance) - I think he should find a way to take a college course or two while he works on the farm. Whether that be at a local community college, at a college nearby that has continuing studies, or even online at a well established university with continuing studies degrees. This will allow him to show he's still interested in school and (if not attending the deferred school) result in transfer credits that mean he's a few steps ahead when he arrives at his new school. Be SURE to see policies of each school on transfer credit and on AP so that you choose these courses strategically to count for more (not overlap AP, and count as prereqs or general requirements)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about his application would change from last year to this year? I mean, his GPA etc will all be the same, he will just be a year older.

Working on a farm is not enough to be a differentiator in an application.

Also, most who take gap years have deferred their acceptance, so have a landing spot. What happens if he tried again and doesn't get in anywhere again?

His GPA wouldn't be the same. It will either have an extra semester or an extra year worth of grades. No school has seen the last semester's grades. Some schools haven't even seen first semester senior year grades. My kid's schools didn't.

I think working on a farm full-time for a year is unique, particularly in this day and age when most people don't live on farms. I think it could make for a wonderful essay, depending on what he learns about himself. In addition, he may be doing more than farm chores. Maybe, he will be getting some business experience - dealing with customers or distributors. Maybe he will do some marketing for the farm. Maybe it will help him define a major he wants to study. We really don't know. But it does make him sound interesting.

I agree that having a deferred acceptance is a great idea. Of course, we don't know where he applied, but clearly he either applied too high or something was a red flag on his application. So some serious review is in order, too.

[Anonymous]

Better to attend and transfer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the other posts so forgive me if this has already been said.

1) if DS goes to work on farm, can't he defer the current acceptance for a year so that even if he fails to procure a better acceptance next year, he is in no worse position (and probably better, more mature)

2) another thought is that DS will likely do better in the "better school lottery" if he attends the college for freshman year, take classes best suited for him to do well in (high GPA), and then submit transfer applications (potentially even for spring admissions if schools he's interested in allow that)

3) if he takes a year off (even if he defers entry to his current acceptance) - I think he should find a way to take a college course or two while he works on the farm. Whether that be at a local community college, at a college nearby that has continuing studies, or even online at a well established university with continuing studies degrees. This will allow him to show he's still interested in school and (if not attending the deferred school) result in transfer credits that mean he's a few steps ahead when he arrives at his new school. Be SURE to see policies of each school on transfer credit and on AP so that you choose these courses strategically to count for more (not overlap AP, and count as prereqs or general requirements)

You have to be careful with number 3. If you take college classes after high school graduation, that generally labels you as a transfer student rather than a freshman. That can have repercussions on scholarships and admittance.

[Anonymous]

Why not have your DC attend "admitted students weekend" at the college in question? Make it a point to visit the college in question - again, if you haven't already. And accept his decision after he's had at least 48 hours on the campus. Without spending a little bit of time there, maybe meeting some of his fellow incoming classmates, he's not making a fully informed decision.

If after that, he still wants a gap year, I would have him do the deferral and carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not have your DC attend "admitted students weekend" at the college in question? Make it a point to visit the college in question - again, if you haven't already. And accept his decision after he's had at least 48 hours on the campus. Without spending a little bit of time there, maybe meeting some of his fellow incoming classmates, he's not making a fully informed decision.

If after that, he still wants a gap year, I would have him do the deferral and carry on.

The deadline for accepting at college is in 4 days. Nearly every school has already held their admitted students weekend. But I agree that he should go visit the college again in the next few days if it's feasible. If not, and it's not a financial hardship, the parents can pay the registration fee as if he's going and then visit the school when he can to at least give it another try.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn’t want to go it’s not wise to make him go. My brother is a college professor and said many kids seem lost and not ready for the college experience lately. Everyone’s life has a different path. He’s an adult now. It’s time for him to choose his path.

[Anonymous]

Defer his acceptance for a year. Let him go to the farm.

If you insist he goes to college, his heart will not be in it, he won't do well and he will blame you. Not to mention you will have wasted a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

I think he should either

1. accept the less desired school with the condition of deferral for one year (can you do this without being legally responsible for that year's tuition?) So he has a back up plan should he not get in elsewhere or his feelings change.

or 2. He goes to the school he isn't very excited about in the fall and plans to get almost all or all A's because he has a plan to apply elsewhere as a transfer student.

Can you visit the college he got into again? Maybe seeing it in person will help raise his excitement?
I don't see how working on the farm for a year will help him reapply elsewhere. Are his cousins college bound? Is the family highly educated he will be spending the time with? If not, I would be concerned he decides he doesn't "need" college at all. But I don't know him or his goals and abilities. Tough situation, OP. He is as adult and should be treated as one, with your guidance, but without being forced to go to a college he doesn't want to --that would not end well most likely.