Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that they need to be REALLY careful in their interactions with their late teens & early 20s kids? Seriously.

Well, I've done my job raising them and done with nurturing. If they want to cut off contact, that is on them. I don't want to babysit snotty grand kids. I want to travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:that they need to be REALLY careful in their interactions with their late teens & early 20s kids? Seriously.

Well, I've done my job raising them and done with nurturing. If they want to cut off contact, that is on them. I don't want to babysit snotty grand kids. I want to travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that they need to be REALLY careful in their interactions with their late teens & early 20s kids? Seriously.

Um, parents can cut you off too. Respect works both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, the people who feel implicated by this thread are really proving OP's point with their behavior here.

Why do parents owe their kids anything after they raised them and paid for college? The kids should repay or just f- off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that they need to be REALLY careful in their interactions with their late teens & early 20s kids? Seriously.

The adult kids should learn how to live on their own without continuously expecting their parents to pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Are you serious???? PP's parents bought her a car when she was a senior in high school but not before, and that wasn't good enough for pp. PP's parents saved to pay in-state tuition, but that wasn't good enough for pp.

PP (you?) sound like a toxic, spoiled princess.

Do you guys intend to keep looking at 1-2 or things in isolation at a time? How predictable. Anyway, good luck with your own families. You sound like a peach.

This is sort of hilarious.

Which of the following, pray tell, would your parents have to do in order to avoid you calling them "controlling"?

A. Buy you a car before your senior year of high school (instead of what they did, which is give you a car for your senior year)
B. Go deeply into debt to send you to the out-of-state school of your choice (instead of what they did, which was save enough for in-state)
C. Buy you a condo in Manhattan, and forbear mentioning any of your behaviors that led to rats/cockroaches/loud parties, or whatever they criticized that you don't seem to want to tell us (instead of what they did, which was buy you a condo in Manhattan!!! and ask you to take care of it)

D. ALL OF THE ABOVE

You can’t get past the jealous of having parents with financial means. So you’re not really a good person to weigh on this because of extreme bias you have.

Fwiw, I didn’t want my parents to go into debt to send me OOS. I wanted to take out loans!!!

LOL at the bolded. Oh honey, we were some of the richest people in my hometown. People used to say our house was their dream house. But my parents never gave us cars because they just didn't believe in raising entitled brats like you. Seriously, your entitlement is stunning because you think your parents have "financial means."

You can't take out $30k in loans every year on your own. YOUR PARENTS WOULD HAVE HAD TO CO-SIGN THAT. You've been told this multiple times, you just don't want to hear it.

You must be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

My parents didn’t need loans for college for me or my siblings. They are very wealthy.

My car usage was monitored. I didn’t have an ATM card.

You make a lot of assumptions about things I should have done (atm) without understanding the reality of it (no atm card). You’re also assuming sending me OOS would require loans (nope).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

Unless you're the Roy family, you've got a seriously distorted idea of what it means to "control through money." Not buying pp a car when she turned 16, not paying OOS, are not controlling behaviors. You seem to think that kids should have free access to parental money, in order to satisfy their every whim.

Your kids must be entitled little brats too. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

This. I’m OP. Now I can think of other ways I could have applied for the college. But I was 17 at the time. I didn’t have access to checks, couldn’t look up anything on the internet, didn’t have an ATM card and only solution I came up with I guess is to ask my college counselor for help. This didn’t work so I gave up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

Unless you're the Roy family, you've got a seriously distorted idea of what it means to "control through money." Not buying pp a car when she turned 16, not paying OOS, are not controlling behaviors. You seem to think that kids should have free access to parental money, in order to satisfy their every whim.

Your kids must be entitled little brats too. Good luck with that.

Isn't it so interesting that you keep looking at the same 1-2 points and ignore all of the remaining ways in which PP grew up. Sounds like you don't have much money to understand the situation if you need to use a fictional TV show as a comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

Unless you're the Roy family, you've got a seriously distorted idea of what it means to "control through money." Not buying pp a car when she turned 16, not paying OOS, are not controlling behaviors[i]. You seem to think that kids should have free access to parental money, in order to satisfy their every whim.

Your kids must be entitled little brats too. Good luck with that.

You don’t get it. You can’t see past the bolded. What’s interesting is I was actually trying to do the opposite of what you’re accusing me of. I wanted to pay for my own college and buy me own car with money I earned from a job I found. Why is that so terrible and entitled? Entitled would be thinking I deserve a car, my parents must pay for OOS school etc. I didn’t think any of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

Unless you're the Roy family, you've got a seriously distorted idea of what it means to "control through money." Not buying pp a car when she turned 16, not paying OOS, are not controlling behaviors. You seem to think that kids should have free access to parental money, in order to satisfy their every whim.

Your kids must be entitled little brats too. Good luck with that.

Isn't it so interesting that you keep looking at the same 1-2 points and ignore all of the remaining ways in which PP grew up. Sounds like you don't have much money to understand the situation if you need to use a fictional TV show as a comparison.

Some people can’t think clearly when money is involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

You already said they gave you a car senior year, when you would have been applying to college. No walking necessary. Also, you had a job, presumably near some sort of business center closer to an ATM, unless you were Amish and working on a farm. Also, you said you tried to give cash to your guidance counselor, so did you have cash or not, which is it?

And bottom line, nobody cares about the mechanics of putting a check in the mail. The problem was very different. Your parents were mad that you tried to apply out-of-state when they told you they were unwilling to sign up for $20/30k in loans per year. You still haven't told us how you were "punished" for trying to get your counselor to write the check, even though several of us have asked you.

You're not reliable. If you were my kid, I might actually say OK, fend for yourself for a year or two and figure out how the world works.

Sad. You are full fledged adult with the capacity and resources of someone who has been adult for decades. And you are challenging the lack of resourcefulness of a controlled sheltered 17 year old. Good for you! You are smarter than a pre-internet 17 year old. By the way, I have also been responding to you. I'm not the poster who is telling her story, but I am very aware of parents who control through money. As I said earlier, be glad you don't know.

Unless you're the Roy family, you've got a seriously distorted idea of what it means to "control through money." Not buying pp a car when she turned 16, not paying OOS, are not controlling behaviors. You seem to think that kids should have free access to parental money, in order to satisfy their every whim.

Your kids must be entitled little brats too. Good luck with that.

Isn't it so interesting that you keep looking at the same 1-2 points and ignore all of the remaining ways in which PP grew up. Sounds like you don't have much money to understand the situation if you need to use a fictional TV show as a comparison.

PP has given precious few details, so yeah, I've been ignoring it. PP refuses to answer how she was "punished" for trying to get her guidance counselor to help her apply OOS.

And was pp's car/ATM access limited because she was buying weed or joy riding on the beltway with friends?

So many questions that pp won't answer.

Meanwhile, you keep insisting that kids should have unfettered access to their parents' money for cars, tuition, et cetera. I hope you never procreate.