Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For every person I’ve met who has cut off contact with legitimately abusive family, I’ve met five narcissists who approach all relationships with machete in hand. The minute someone doesn’t do their bidding, the narcissists cut them off.

NP. This. Larla may or may not have abusive parents. But the fact she came to DCUM to rant anonymously about the obvious (truly abusive parents deserve to be cut off) suggest immaturity and a love of drama.

You must know my SIL then. Described her behavior to a T.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

[Anonymous]

It’s unfortunate that college costs and housing are so high that it really harms parents and children. Early adulthood is about separating and forming an adult relationship with parents. This is very difficult with the degree of financial dependency that our current system imposes.

I don’t fault kids for staying financially dependent on parents for college, housing and health insurance. I don’t fault parents for exerting more control when they are sending hundreds of thousands of dollar. I used to work in a university and the cost of college is significant reason why parents try or are more involved with their kid at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Are you serious???? PP's parents bought her a car when she was a senior in high school but not before, and that wasn't good enough for pp. PP's parents saved to pay in-state tuition, but that wasn't good enough for pp.

PP (you?) sound like a toxic, spoiled princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Omg! You truly are a total narc!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Are you serious???? PP's parents bought her a car when she was a senior in high school but not before, and that wasn't good enough for pp. PP's parents saved to pay in-state tuition, but that wasn't good enough for pp.

PP (you?) sound like a toxic, spoiled princess.

Do you guys intend to keep looking at 1-2 or things in isolation at a time? How predictable. Anyway, good luck with your own families. You sound like a peach.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad to see that Nany agree that the spoiler narc princess here is just that, insanely entitled brat who still needs to grow up and thank her parents from preventing her and them from ending up living in a car so she can go to some fancy school and get her a car she wants.
Sadly, I wonder if we have huge millennial generations who are just the same, no idea of the cost of anything. Did narc boomers raise narc millennials? Probably, generational trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad to see that Nany agree that the spoiler narc princess here is just that, insanely entitled brat who still needs to grow up and thank her parents from preventing her and them from ending up living in a car so she can go to some fancy school and get her a car she wants.
Sadly, I wonder if we have huge millennial generations who are just the same, no idea of the cost of anything. Did narc boomers raise narc millennials? Probably, generational trauma.

While I agree with you that pp is narcissistic, "narc" usually means somebody who reports friends to the authorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

I was underage and didn’t have access to the internet. I had no way of knowing that I could put a check in the mail when I didn’t have a bank account with checks.

Fwiw I also didn’t have access to cash. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house to walk a few miles to the nearest ATM. I would have had to lie and say I needed cash for something else, which they would have said no to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Are you serious???? PP's parents bought her a car when she was a senior in high school but not before, and that wasn't good enough for pp. PP's parents saved to pay in-state tuition, but that wasn't good enough for pp.

PP (you?) sound like a toxic, spoiled princess.

Do you guys intend to keep looking at 1-2 or things in isolation at a time? How predictable. Anyway, good luck with your own families. You sound like a peach.

This is sort of hilarious.

Which of the following, pray tell, would your parents have to do in order to avoid you calling them "controlling"?

A. Buy you a car before your senior year of high school (instead of what they did, which is give you a car for your senior year)
B. Go deeply into debt to send you to the out-of-state school of your choice (instead of what they did, which was save enough for in-state)
C. Buy you a condo in Manhattan, and forbear mentioning any of your behaviors that led to rats/cockroaches/loud parties, or whatever they criticized that you don't seem to want to tell us (instead of what they did, which was buy you a condo in Manhattan!!! and ask you to take care of it)

D. ALL OF THE ABOVE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad to see that Nany agree that the spoiler narc princess here is just that, insanely entitled brat who still needs to grow up and thank her parents from preventing her and them from ending up living in a car so she can go to some fancy school and get her a car she wants.
Sadly, I wonder if we have huge millennial generations who are just the same, no idea of the cost of anything. Did narc boomers raise narc millennials? Probably, generational trauma.

You’re very materialistic and don’t get it. It wasn’t about the belongings. It was about the complete lack of freedom I have. A PP is suggesting I should have gotten a hold of cash and mailed it with a college application. Besides not knowing that’s an option, why should I be prevented from using my own money to apply to an OOS school? Why should I be kept from buying my own car? It was control of every aspect of my life and caused problems for me later on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I was only allowed to have a car my senior year of HS so they could control my whereabouts. My mom referred to cars as “killing machines”. I finally took my car to college my sophomore year so I could drive to work. It took a lot to get my parents to allow this. My parents then introduced “checks” on the car. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car at night so they would take trips to my college town to make sure the car was indeed in the parking lot of my dorm at night.

I wasn’t allowed to go to college out of state despite my parents having plenty of money. I wanted to apply anyway and get loans but didn’t have access to a checking account to pay for applications. The college advisor at my school told my parents and I was then punished for pursuing anything out of state.

During college I wasn’t allowed to study abroad. Parents refused to pay for it and because of their controlling ways, I didn’t have the ability to take out loans. Instead I was told I’d spend summer abroad with my parents. As a 20 year old I spent the summer touring Europe with my parents.

After college my parents used their financial means to try to control me. They paid for a condo in Manhattan. I eventually figured them out, moved out and went on my way.

The bolded comments are a great examples of entitlement. You want to complain about not getting your own car until senior year of HS, them not paying out of state tuition even though you determined THEY had the money AND they paid for a condo in NYC. Unbelievable. You could have bought your own car, found your own job, paid for your own college and adult apartment. You didnt so don't complain now it was controlling while you sat on your rump reaping the benefits of them "controlling you".

I wasn’t allowed to buy my own car. My money was controlled by my parents. I did not have transportation to even get to a bank to open my own bank account in secret. Any paychecks I received from work were deposited into an account that my parents closely monitored. If you’ve never had very controlling parents you likely don’t understand any of this. As a minor child, I’m not sure you have too many rights to do things like take out a car loan without a down payment.

I couldn’t find my own job in HS because my mom dragged me around to businesses to interview. She found me a job one day when I was attending school and drove me to the business after school. She told me on the way to the business that I would be working there. I pushed back and was told I would be punished severely if I didn’t go work there. I don’t think you understand how controlling parents respond and what extreme measures they will take to control their children.

I wanted to apply out of state and take out loans since my parents would not pay for the tuition despite it being set aside for college. The backlash and punishment I received for even reaching out to my HS college advisor was unreal. I lost all sorts of privileges for even trying to get the $50 to write a check to apply to a specific school.

I do admit I let them control me too long during my adult life. But as a HS kid I truly couldn’t help what happened.

Honey, I didn't get a car until I was a junior in College. You aren't owed a car. If you had your own car then you could have figured out a way to cash your own check without mommy. If you wanted to go to college out of state you could have figured out a way to get the $50 app fee without your parents. At 18 you are an adult and could have taken the steps to be fully independent. I am by no means saying your parents are peaches because they sound awful but people are going to use your severe case as a reason for all kids to cut off their parents for much less.

I was 17 when applying for college. I didn’t turn 18 until my freshman year of college. A minor can’t open a bank account in their own. So no, I couldn’t find a way to get a $50 check unless I stole one. Like I mentioned, I tried to get assistance from my college advisor in somehow paying the application fee. He then notified my parents and I was punished.

There are tons of people who work with no bank accounts that cash their paychecks. You don't need a bank account to cash a check made out to you. Then you take your cash and send it with the application or give cash to friend and they write you the check.
There are unhoused children and young adults fighting their way out of more oppressive situations than yours.

DP. you get charged fees for doing that, often at high rates.

Those of you trying to take on PP should be grateful that you do not have first hand knowledge of parents who are that controlling.

Controlling? Because the parents won't co-sign car or huge student loans? And they were mad when op tried to do an end-run around that by applying out-of-state anyway?

It's all of the pieces together. When parents limit a young adult's access to any money, yes, that's controlling.

Are you serious???? PP's parents bought her a car when she was a senior in high school but not before, and that wasn't good enough for pp. PP's parents saved to pay in-state tuition, but that wasn't good enough for pp.

PP (you?) sound like a toxic, spoiled princess.

Do you guys intend to keep looking at 1-2 or things in isolation at a time? How predictable. Anyway, good luck with your own families. You sound like a peach.

This is sort of hilarious.

Which of the following, pray tell, would your parents have to do in order to avoid you calling them "controlling"?

A. Buy you a car before your senior year of high school (instead of what they did, which is give you a car for your senior year)
B. Go deeply into debt to send you to the out-of-state school of your choice (instead of what they did, which was save enough for in-state)
C. Buy you a condo in Manhattan, and forbear mentioning any of your behaviors that led to rats/cockroaches/loud parties, or whatever they criticized that you don't seem to want to tell us (instead of what they did, which was buy you a condo in Manhattan!!! and ask you to take care of it)

D. ALL OF THE ABOVE

You can’t get past the jealous of having parents with financial means. So you’re not really a good person to weigh on this because of extreme bias you have.

Fwiw, I didn’t want my parents to go into debt to send me OOS. I wanted to take out loans!!!