What's Behind the Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have been entitled and lazy for too long and young women have seen it. Young women grew up seeing their moms run around after a man, cleaning up after him, having him forget her birthday and forget Mother's Day and laugh about how bad her cooking is. They dont want any part of it and they realize the "fairy tale" is not all it's cooked up to be. They no longer are willing to settle for duds that act more as an anchor than as a helpmate

I feel like you're projecting here. By "young women," do you mean "I?" And, by "men" do you mean your ex-husband or a former boyfriend or something?

They’re not “projecting.” They’re absolutely correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to raise our men better- that's the problem. They were raised to only go off and go to work, their wife will raise the family. Except now men don't make enough money, women are going to work and expecting men to pitch in at home. Most men are lazy and can't, so women are better off single. Women have been doing it all for some time now. We're graduating college in larger numbers than men.

DH is wonderful, but he's a rare guy amongst his friends.

I don’t think “we need to raise them better”.

I think society needs to think different.

Men don’t have to be the bread winner. Men can be teachers or nurses or other low paying jobs, and that’s okay.

Men don’t need to be able to fix things in the house any more than women need to.

Women actually expect men to do everything now and that ridiculous just like it was ridiculous for women.

We do?

Yes you do. There was one woman ready to divorce her husband because he did all of the dishes but he did not wipe the counter. Women expect men to make at least half of the income, coparent, 50-50, fix things in the house, do all the outside work, and do 50% of the inside work, and if they don’t, and they complain that the lazy.

That seems like a fair ask. I’m a woman and fix things in the house and do outside work and everything else on your list. My DH thinks mowing the lawn and doing gutters 2x/year means he can half heartedly clean the kitchen on his night.

That’s the problem. Men have been conditioned and babied and catered to for so long that they see 50% as “everything”, and are so hurt that a few outdoor chores don’t excuse them from everything else that they throw a tantrum about it online.

That is why we don’t need men.

Boom ... there we go damned if you do damned if you don't

Just clean it whole heartedly. You’re an adult with a brain and working limbs. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get this whole “but men fix things so we’re exempt from housework!” idea.

They don’t fix things. We got a secondhand crib for our 8 month old a year ago. I wanted to put it together but H had this whole plan to sand it down and repaint it. Fine. But it’s been sitting in the garage for a year. Then he tried to blame me for his not doing it, saying he thought I would offer to help and we’d do it together. I said great, let’s do it together, let me know when you want to. Never happened.

He finally started working on it yesterday evening after he went to his weekly therapy session, complained to his therapist that the crib needs to get done but he keeps procrastinating, and his therapist finally said “let’s end our session early and you can….just go put together the crib”. She’s a woman, btw.

Same with a million other half-finished projects around our house. He starts them to “help”, stops doing them, and then thinks that is somehow contributing. Is it helpful if I cook his chicken halfway and then serve it half raw? If I drive his kids halfway to school and drop them off in the middle of nowhere? No. For it to count, you finish the job.

And my friends’ husbands are the same. They need constant prodding and nagging to do the so-called “manly” work around the house.

These guys keep claiming they do car repairs, household repairs, yard work….but I don’t see any of them actually do it. Or if they do, it’s half@$$ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a father, I signed my daughter up for GOTR and ran the 5ks with here several times.

My son was not allowed to join GOTR. There was not (and still isn’t) a running club for boys.

I signed him up for cub scouts and later Boy Scouts. But there is no longer a Boy Scouts. It doesn’t exist. It has been replaced with the co-educational group “Scouts-BSA” for girls and boys.

Meanwhile, my daughter’s Girl Scout troop is exclusively girls-only.

I have kids in both Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts. And my son has done track through a local club as have many of his male friends. My sons very large Boy Scout troop has zero girls. The reason BSA had to nominally go co-ed and try to recruit girls is largely because a bunch of men abused a bunch of boys and now we are all trying to pay off a bunch of settlement money. (That and losing the Mormons and evangelicals because they didn’t want to allow gay scouts.). So if the men could have solved their toxic masculinity, you could have kept your nice single sex Boy Scouts. But now you need the girls $$. And most of the girls would prefer to hang out with other girls in Girl Scouts. So, I’m not sure what point you were trying to make—-but the larger point is that males need to get their house in order if they want women and girls to want to hang out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to raise our men better- that's the problem. They were raised to only go off and go to work, their wife will raise the family. Except now men don't make enough money, women are going to work and expecting men to pitch in at home. Most men are lazy and can't, so women are better off single. Women have been doing it all for some time now. We're graduating college in larger numbers than men.

DH is wonderful, but he's a rare guy amongst his friends.

I don’t think “we need to raise them better”.

I think society needs to think different.

Men don’t have to be the bread winner. Men can be teachers or nurses or other low paying jobs, and that’s okay.

Men don’t need to be able to fix things in the house any more than women need to.

Women actually expect men to do everything now and that ridiculous just like it was ridiculous for women.

We do?

Yes you do. There was one woman ready to divorce her husband because he did all of the dishes but he did not wipe the counter. Women expect men to make at least half of the income, coparent, 50-50, fix things in the house, do all the outside work, and do 50% of the inside work, and if they don’t, and they complain that the lazy.

That seems like a fair ask. I’m a woman and fix things in the house and do outside work and everything else on your list. My DH thinks mowing the lawn and doing gutters 2x/year means he can half heartedly clean the kitchen on his night.

That’s the problem. Men have been conditioned and babied and catered to for so long that they see 50% as “everything”, and are so hurt that a few outdoor chores don’t excuse them from everything else that they throw a tantrum about it online.

That is why we don’t need men.

Boom ... there we go damned if you do damned if you don't

Let me guess. You’re the same kind of man who also complains if his wife just lays there half-heartedly during sex and expects her to perform to your standard. Why can’t you be happy with half-hearted sex once a month? You seem to think that standard is acceptable for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to raise our men better- that's the problem. They were raised to only go off and go to work, their wife will raise the family. Except now men don't make enough money, women are going to work and expecting men to pitch in at home. Most men are lazy and can't, so women are better off single. Women have been doing it all for some time now. We're graduating college in larger numbers than men.

DH is wonderful, but he's a rare guy amongst his friends.

I don’t think “we need to raise them better”.

I think society needs to think different.

Men don’t have to be the bread winner. Men can be teachers or nurses or other low paying jobs, and that’s okay.

Men don’t need to be able to fix things in the house any more than women need to.

Women actually expect men to do everything now and that ridiculous just like it was ridiculous for women.

We do?

Yes you do. There was one woman ready to divorce her husband because he did all of the dishes but he did not wipe the counter. Women expect men to make at least half of the income, coparent, 50-50, fix things in the house, do all the outside work, and do 50% of the inside work, and if they don’t, and they complain that the lazy.

That seems like a fair ask. I’m a woman and fix things in the house and do outside work and everything else on your list. My DH thinks mowing the lawn and doing gutters 2x/year means he can half heartedly clean the kitchen on his night.

That’s the problem. Men have been conditioned and babied and catered to for so long that they see 50% as “everything”, and are so hurt that a few outdoor chores don’t excuse them from everything else that they throw a tantrum about it online.

That is why we don’t need men.

Boom ... there we go damned if you do damned if you don't

Just clean it whole heartedly. You’re an adult with a brain and working limbs. You can do it.

But why would they put the work in when they could just whine and play victim?

[Anonymous]

How many times per day per week is a man fixing things around the house? Some of you men make it seem like you are fixing things everyday. Cooking and cleaning is an everyday task.

BTW, I've fixed the vacuum cleaner myself from watching a youtube video. I could fix a lot of things, but some of the stuff needs brute strength which I don't have.

If DH is busy fixing something, I'll cook and clean. But if he's not doing anything, he can cook and clean, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the father of two teenage boys, I'm nervous about their future. Back when I met my wife everybody had flip phones and you had to go meet up in person. My sons were showing some encouraging signs but then Covid hit. Now they and their friends just hang out online all the time.

Mother of 2 teenager boys and I am seeing the same behavior.

[Anonymous]

The fact is women can do all these things, be lazy/out-of-shape/heavy/uneducated/dead-end-job/gross homes and still find a mate.

Not arguing that men with these traits should be excused or given a pass, but these comments come from some imaginary world where women descend on angel wings to uplift men.

[Anonymous]

Feminism. Most men don’t want to deal with women who have been passed around and feel entitled to their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is women can do all these things, be lazy/out-of-shape/heavy/uneducated/dead-end-job/gross homes and still find a mate.

Not arguing that men with these traits should be excused or given a pass, but these comments come from some imaginary world where women descend on angel wings to uplift men.

Except women arent as lazy as men and that's why theyre blowing men out of the water in college and the workplace afterwards. Statistically speaking, it's not even up for debate that women do the vast majority of the household labor. So find another cope to explain things.

[Anonymous]

Feminism. It’s the reason why many women today are single and bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feminism. Most men don’t want to deal with women who have been passed around and feel entitled to their money.

so ... men are choosing to be incels voluntarily? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is women can do all these things, be lazy/out-of-shape/heavy/uneducated/dead-end-job/gross homes and still find a mate.

Not arguing that men with these traits should be excused or given a pass, but these comments come from some imaginary world where women descend on angel wings to uplift men.

It's not women's fault that men would settle for any woman just to have sex.

Women need more than sex. So men can either put out or ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get this whole “but men fix things so we’re exempt from housework!” idea.

They don’t fix things. We got a secondhand crib for our 8 month old a year ago. I wanted to put it together but H had this whole plan to sand it down and repaint it. Fine. But it’s been sitting in the garage for a year. Then he tried to blame me for his not doing it, saying he thought I would offer to help and we’d do it together. I said great, let’s do it together, let me know when you want to. Never happened.

He finally started working on it yesterday evening after he went to his weekly therapy session, complained to his therapist that the crib needs to get done but he keeps procrastinating, and his therapist finally said “let’s end our session early and you can….just go put together the crib”. She’s a woman, btw.

Same with a million other half-finished projects around our house. He starts them to “help”, stops doing them, and then thinks that is somehow contributing. Is it helpful if I cook his chicken halfway and then serve it half raw? If I drive his kids halfway to school and drop them off in the middle of nowhere? No. For it to count, you finish the job.

And my friends’ husbands are the same. They need constant prodding and nagging to do the so-called “manly” work around the house.

These guys keep claiming they do car repairs, household repairs, yard work….but I don’t see any of them actually do it. Or if they do, it’s half@$$ed.

My DH does all of car maintenance and repairs, plumbing, painting, roofing, gutters, electrical, lawn care and he still does housework. I cook, pretty darn well too.