What's Behind the Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back in the olden days men were pursuing women daily. Now it's a mine field that makes men afraid to approach women. It's the downside of me too.

As someone who was abused and could have reported it and it could have been a 20-year-plus sentence but didn't out of fear, can I ask why you are afraid to approach women? Only like a third if that of physical abuse is even reported. What exactly are you worried about? Are the rules unclear? I hear this type of phrase but I just don't get it.

And it also doesn't seem to be reality. There are men saying they expect sex on the 3rd date and women are bizarre for not expecting the same. Back "in the old days" women had chaperones and you didn't even get to kiss. I'm not really understanding why the line is so hard for men to stay away from abuse.

[Anonymous]

Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

Awesome. LOL... you're my hero!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

I'm a landlord to a male tenant and I can't even get him to change out the lint trap and I had to cover up the bathtub because there is more hair than a woman would ever shed. I have to go down there daily to clean this stuff up. Won't do anything to help out beyond paying the rent. Has absolutely no skills that a man should have.

[Anonymous]

Because at the end of the day, men have always wanted women much more than vice versa. Men love to make jokes about the "ball and chain" or being "Dragged down the aisle" but the truth is, it's much more men who want a stable life with a woman than vice versa. Single women are thriving according to almost all statistics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

Yes, agree. And that drives women farther away and it gets worse. Is there anything more terrifying than a sexist, angry young white man? Horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

It's funny that the female backlash is to avoid men, and the male backlash is to take away women's rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

Is there anything more terrifying than a sexist, angry young white man? Horrifying.

A politician explicitly catering to sexist angry young white men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

Yes, agree. And that drives women farther away and it gets worse. Is there anything more terrifying than a sexist, angry young white man? Horrifying.

It's just confirming everything these women ever thought about men. That they dont have the maturity to introspect and do the work to step up to the plate, but instead are overgrown toddlers who would rather throw a tantrum than confront themselves. And just, like you said, drives women so much further away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

Yes, agree. And that drives women farther away and it gets worse. Is there anything more terrifying than a sexist, angry young white man? Horrifying.

Did you see the teens today that killed the teacher because of a bad grade? How did it get to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really fascinating article:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/whats-behind-the-rise-lonely-single-men

What do people think about this? It concerns me that so many men are so unhappy with their romantic lives, wanting a relationship but unable to have one, considering the destabilizing effect unpartnered young men can have on society.

Is there anything to be done about this?

How I feel? I would tell them to grow up and realize only you can make you happy. Women are not responsible for you being unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because at the end of the day, men have always wanted women much more than vice versa. Men love to make jokes about the "ball and chain" or being "Dragged down the aisle" but the truth is, it's much more men who want a stable life with a woman than vice versa. Single women are thriving according to almost all statistics

Well they don't want to create it. But to say they appreciate it is another matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men exploited their power over women for centuries and now you see a backlash. Today's men aren't to blame for it, but unfortunately that's just how it goes. No one wants to deal with their bullshit anymore. I was a landlord for a while and only rented to women. I try to work with women and I basically only deal with my DH and my brother as far as straight men go. I am just at a point in my life where I don't have to listen to their yammering anymore in general so I limit my contact to good ones who I trust. Sorry not sorry.

And you're seeing a male backlash too. A lot of what is driving MAGA is an explicit appeal to young angry men. We've reached the point where sex is a great predictor of voting, that never used to be true.

It's funny that the female backlash is to avoid men, and the male backlash is to take away women's rights.

Like you said, the female backlash is to avoid men, the male backlash is try to get hold of women by suppressing them and forcing them back into subordination. Online, I've seen men of all kinds of political backgrounds say that we should make western women wear hijabs and basically saying that women should have our rights taken away. All so they can force us back into relationships with them. It's so dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

I think there have always been lonely, left-behind men, but they couldn’t do much damage to society because they had no way to attract attention and no one babying them. A lot of good examples were cited by PPs. I don’t think that the lonely, left-behind men see it as their responsibility to participate in society. That’s what’s changed. I don’t know if it’s been fueled by women participating in the workforce at higher rates, or the transparency of social media, or parents who take care of underperforming and/or mentally ill or developmentally delayed young people who would have been institutionalized in past generations.

The single men in my family historically were confirmed bachelors with middling professions in low-cost places, inherited a small piece of the farm and worked additional leased land nearby, joined the military, or did things like go to the mountain west and take random labor jobs. Now the family farm is huge and industrialized so it can’t easily be parceled out, high living costs make it hard to take a middling job and live independently, and there’s a lot of pressure because of my family’s rise in social class from lower/middle to middle/upper to go to college instead of getting work or joining the military.

My generation has a cousin who does programming jobs here and there and has autism and lives with his parents, a mentally ill sibling in-law who lives in a bedroom in my IL’s condo, and a really physical cousin who probably would have been mining or logging 150 years ago and barfighting in town on Saturday nights. Now he gets into fights at hockey games and does a lot of drugs. Same stuff as it used to be, but different settings and living situations.