Wives: how much evidence would you want if someone told you your husband was cheating on you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this “anonymous” person telling you this information and why now? How far along are you in your pregnancy?

No one is telling me anything. I would be the anonymous person doing the telling if it comes to that point.


As for why I have a lot of empathy for wives who are cheated on, especially in the case where there are young children involved and the wife is pregnant, sp clearly not using protection her health could be at risk. and a particular loathing for men especially men who present themselves as good guys/ religious men who are not.

And how do you know they’re clearly not using protection? Did you witness the man put his bare penis into her vagina? MYOB

OP is the AP.

I'm not the AP. I just meant that if wife is pregnant they are likely not using protection and no a condom does not prevent all STIs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first H had an EA while I was pregnant and I found the evidence. But he was increasingly abusive and the marriage was a zombie anyway at that point.

With DH, who is good and devoted, I’d need pretty solid evidence. Nothing that can be misconstrued (like he was simply seen in a restaurant or car with another woman).

So what would constitute solid evidence to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this “anonymous” person telling you this information and why now? How far along are you in your pregnancy?

No one is telling me anything. I would be the anonymous person doing the telling if it comes to that point.


As for why I have a lot of empathy for wives who are cheated on, especially in the case where there are young children involved and the wife is pregnant, sp clearly not using protection her health could be at risk. and a particular loathing for men especially men who present themselves as good guys/ religious men who are not.




[/

I wouldn’t want to know and I would be furious at you, a stranger who knows absolutely nothing about me, telling me something they “think” I need to know. Your reasoning is all about you, not what the wife wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want you “investigating” my husband. That is sick and creepy.

I'm not investigating. The husband is my coworker and the person I suspect is his AP is also my coworker. I don't have evidence like them kissing each other or something. There's things like lunches togther, always happening to run nto each other staying late together, when there's no reason to ( not on the same team), frequent flirtation. At the same time, everyone else seems not to be bothered by this, so I guess I could be wrong. But, then again, people smiled in my mom;s face and totally ignored my dad cheating with his coworkers..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this “anonymous” person telling you this information and why now? How far along are you in your pregnancy?

No one is telling me anything. I would be the anonymous person doing the telling if it comes to that point.


As for why I have a lot of empathy for wives who are cheated on, especially in the case where there are young children involved and the wife is pregnant, sp clearly not using protection her health could be at risk. and a particular loathing for men especially men who present themselves as good guys/ religious men who are not.




[/

I wouldn’t want to know and I would be furious at you, a stranger who knows absolutely nothing about me, telling me something they “think” I need to know. Your reasoning is all about you, not what the wife wants.

Are you kidding?! I would want to know for sure. Better to have your own agency. And I say this as someone who was cheated on, others witnessed, and did not tell me.

[Anonymous]

I’d want to know, even if it was something that turned out to be innocent. But I would rather be told in person than by an anonymous note.

And even if it is “just” flirting, I’d still wanna know. There’d be hell to pay with my H if I’m sitting around getting stretch marks and saggy tits while growing his kid, and he’s off flirting with skanks at the office.

[Anonymous]

Nope. You have an "inkling" that my husband might be cheating with a coworker. But he could be doing his job, he could be super friendly, we could have an agreement, you've seen nothing amiss, AND you don't know me at all.

How about you mind your own business at this point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want you to tell me while I was still pregnant. You’d be taking my labor support person from me.

Anonymous wrote: I wouldn’t want to know and I would be furious at you, a stranger who knows absolutely nothing about me, telling me something they “think” I need to know. Your reasoning is all about you, not what the wife wants.

Seems the consensus is to MYOB. I guess I'll take my cue from my other coworkers and act like everything is normal.

[Anonymous]

Since DH and I have an open marriage, I would be seriously touched that someone cared enough about me to try to bring the affair to my notice, and then I would gently tell them that it's all above board and not to worry about it.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you knew with certainty I would want to know. I would want specific proof (description of what you saw, photo, email, something!), and anonymous but revealing how you know is ok (I’m a coworker and witnessed this . . . ). This woman deserves to have her agency.

[Anonymous]

I think you should stay in your own lane and myob

[Anonymous]

^ BTW, same goes for spouse of the AP.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely NOT want to know. And maybe they have an open relationship. You will only screw yourself by getting involved.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the wife already knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want you “investigating” my husband. That is sick and creepy.

I'm not investigating. The husband is my coworker and the person I suspect is his AP is also my coworker. I don't have evidence like them kissing each other or something. There's things like lunches togther, always happening to run nto each other staying late together, when there's no reason to ( not on the same team), frequent flirtation. At the same time, everyone else seems not to be bothered by this, so I guess I could be wrong. But, then again, people smiled in my mom;s face and totally ignored my dad cheating with his coworkers..

OP, this is not enough information to blow up a marriage. why don't you take a braver route and speak to the co-workers - tell them people are starting to talk about how much time they spend together, etc -