is nose-to-wall timeout too harsh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would be considered inappropriate or excessive discipline in a child care setting and the daycare would be cited for it.

Ok, but OP isn't running a daycare.

Op... Is he getting the point? What happens with his sister when she interferes?

[Anonymous]

My abusive parents used to make me do that. It’s weak parenting based on controlling behavior, not teaching skills. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Humiliating and punitive.

[Anonymous]

If you are concerned, you could make the turning nose-to-wall the consequence of not being able to sit quietly in a normal time out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are concerned, you could make the turning nose-to-wall the consequence of not being able to sit quietly in a normal time out.

In other words, if he is sitting in time out and tries to play with his sister, only then does he have to turn around.

[Anonymous]

That’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

I’m as liberal and modern as they come. It is not something that I would use, but it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not abuse or humiliation- get a grip people.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he only turns nose to wall after engaging with his sister.

It's fine for a few minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he only turns nose to wall after engaging with his sister.

It's fine for a few minutes.

I don't discipline like this, but I don't think it's a huge deal. Our nanny said she actually used something like that for her kids--except she would put math problem sheets on the wall, and her kids had to work through them while standing up as part of their punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Humiliating and punitive.

Punishment is supposed to be punitive. You want to disincentivize him from future misbehavior. Doing it as you do for a minute per year of age, which is the general rule of thumb, will not cause lasting harm, but may have the positive outcome of modifying his behavior.

While we didn’t make out kids touch their nose to the wall, we would put a chair in the corner, and the child had to sit there facing the corner. Touching the nose to the wall might be a little stricter, but I don’t thick it’s unreasonable or damaging.

You might consider sending the sibling out of the room for the duration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s humiliation. Not okay.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Humiliating and punitive.

Punishment is supposed to be punitive. You want to disincentivize him from future misbehavior. Doing it as you do for a minute per year of age, which is the general rule of thumb, will not cause lasting harm, but may have the positive outcome of modifying his behavior.

While we didn’t make out kids touch their nose to the wall, we would put a chair in the corner, and the child had to sit there facing the corner. Touching the nose to the wall might be a little stricter, but I don’t thick it’s unreasonable or damaging.

You might consider sending the sibling out of the room for the duration.

There's a difference between discipline and punishment.

[Anonymous]

Not very effective.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

It's not helpful at all. I say this as someone who thinks this is a relatively mild punishment, but it's just plain not helpful. When I was a child, I had to do the same, while holding up a phonebook above my head, being smacked every time my arms started lowering, and then left there for an hour. Just made me more resentful.