morning routine is KILLING us (5.5 year old)

[Anonymous]

So much begging on your part! What are you? Mother Theresa?
Read 1, 2, 3 Magic and stop pleading and start counting.
You are going to get dressed. You are going to leave the house in 3.

[Anonymous]

#1 - you gotta stay calm. Don’t feed the tiger. Don’t fight with him.
#2 he goes to school in his pjs.
#3 he goes to school hungry or eats in the car.
#4 take the shoes in the car where he can put them on there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#1 - you gotta stay calm. Don’t feed the tiger. Don’t fight with him.
#2 he goes to school in his pjs.
#3 he goes to school hungry or eats in the car.
#4 take the shoes in the car where he can put them on there.

We are improving on the calm end.

Like I said above...how do we get him into the car then?

“I’m not dressed!!!”
I can see us having to physically move him to the car. Or, he is going to miss school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 - you gotta stay calm. Don’t feed the tiger. Don’t fight with him.
#2 he goes to school in his pjs.
#3 he goes to school hungry or eats in the car.
#4 take the shoes in the car where he can put them on there.

We are improving on the calm end.

Like I said above...how do we get him into the car then?

“I’m not dressed!!!”
I can see us having to physically move him to the car. Or, he is going to miss school.

Seriously, did you ever read 1,2, 3 Magic? Read it, and do it. It is a book that teaches parents how to behave, not the kids. Once you start giving three advance notices, he will do it and think he was a good boy. Then you praise. I have two difficult kids, was alone with them while DH was overseas at that age. That book and changing my behavior saved my sanity.

[Anonymous]

1. Move his toys out of his room in some kind of play rolling play chest. As apart of daily cleanup of put away toys, have him put in the chest and roll it out of his room. He can have it back the next day.

2. As for breakfast, have him help make the grocery list of what breakfast he wants to eat. Try Horizon milk boxes etc that he can reach for himself and drink without you having to give him breakfast.

3. For getting dressed in the morning, have him layout his clothes he picks the night before. Once he puts on his clothes in the morning and has breakfast, he can have his toy chest to play for that day.

[Anonymous]

I've done sleep in school clothes, but what worked better for us was, everything, EVERYTHING, set out on Sunday night. 5 "rolls" of clothes, including underwear and socks, are in a row on a special tray in DC's room. 5 days of breakfasts are in the fridge, ready to eat at home or car. Choice was actually a problem. Complete consistency, predictability, and nothing to fight about was the solution.

Good luck. DC is now 8 and these days are long behind us.

[Anonymous]

Where is this school that is in person? I am in Canada now, and the kids will be going back in person next week I think. My town had 60 positive cases yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dressing the night before seems 1) gross 2) totally lazy

He needs to learn to get up in the morning and get dressed.

I would start by waking him up a lot earlier. You will be less stressed with more time and you will have more time to be chilled and patient with him.

He may eat breakfast after he is dressed and if there is time after breakfast, he may play. Tell him that the night before (no playing or breakfast until dressed and teeth brushed) and again when he wakes up.

This worked for all three of mine. One needed an additional motivator too, which was, "This is what time we need to leave for school. If you aren't dressed and ready, you'll be going in your pajamas." To some kids this is a motivator, to some, it would awesome! Depends on your child.

OP here. Everything you wrote is exactly what we’re doing. We tell him, if you have time after this you can do this.

But, he screams. Aside from hitting him every time he screams, we don’t know what to do. If we get angry, he gets angrier. It is a miserable morning.

I also said in my post that waking him up early is not an option. It’s somehow makes the morning even worse. He is not a kid that you can wake up early.

He needs to go to bed earlier and wake earlier. You clearly don’t have enough time in the am. He can getcmore sleep by going down earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dressing the night before seems 1) gross 2) totally lazy

He needs to learn to get up in the morning and get dressed.

I would start by waking him up a lot earlier. You will be less stressed with more time and you will have more time to be chilled and patient with him.

He may eat breakfast after he is dressed and if there is time after breakfast, he may play. Tell him that the night before (no playing or breakfast until dressed and teeth brushed) and again when he wakes up.

This worked for all three of mine. One needed an additional motivator too, which was, "This is what time we need to leave for school. If you aren't dressed and ready, you'll be going in your pajamas." To some kids this is a motivator, to some, it would awesome! Depends on your child.

OP here. Everything you wrote is exactly what we’re doing. We tell him, if you have time after this you can do this.

But, he screams. Aside from hitting him every time he screams, we don’t know what to do. If we get angry, he gets angrier. It is a miserable morning.

I also said in my post that waking him up early is not an option. It’s somehow makes the morning even worse. He is not a kid that you can wake up early.

He needs to go to bed earlier and wake earlier. You clearly don’t have enough time in the am. He can getcmore sleep by going down earlier.

He goes to bed at 6:30 and wakes at 6:45. This is finally perfect for us. He’s well rested. I cannot adjust his sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, everyone.

A few things:
1. It doesn’t seem if he wakes up hungry. Breakfast seems to be another obstacle on his way. Should we do breakfast right away? Or breakfast in the car? I am not sure.

2. I won hundred percent agree with the no playing. How do we introduce this? How do we enforce it without more screaming?

3. He cannot sleep in his clothes. He runs very hot.

He doesn't leave his room until he is dresses. Period

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much begging on your part! What are you? Mother Theresa?
Read 1, 2, 3 Magic and stop pleading and start counting.
You are going to get dressed. You are going to leave the house in 3.

People who give these responses obviously do not have spirited kids. What do you think happens when you get to 3? My DD could care less. Consequences- she could care less; doesn't phase her when she is worked up. Also doesn't phase her later OR change the behavior the next day.

OP- I could have written this post about my 5yo DD. She is exactly the same way, down to being fine once we finally get in the car. We have tried earlier bedtimes, earlier wake ups, changing order of routine in the AM, picking out clothes the night before. It's exhausting because nothing seems to work. An outfit that she is happy with on Tuesday night is suddenly extremely uncomfortable Wednesday morning.

It makes getting to school (and work for me) on time seem impossible. I think part of it is just anxiety. I am starting to accept that it's going to be this way, she needs to "get it out" for some reason. She seems to feel very rushed in the morning no matter how much time we have.

A few things that seem to (maybe) help....I TRY to stay calm. I tell her she needs to be dressed before she leaves her room (this does cause meltdown #1, but at least the hard part is over after that.) She puts on at least 3-4 different outfits. During this time I make a breakfast that can be finished in car--mini bagel and cream cheese mostly. The night before I put clean socks in her shoes and keep them right by the door (more than 1/2 the time I end up picking these up as she runs out the door barefoot). I also try to sprinkle in positive feedback when she accomplishes something, but it's unclear if that has any effect.

IF she is dressed with time to spare- I will put on a show in the kitchen for her to watch while she eats breakfast and I do finishing touches--shoes and socks, jacket, pony tail, etc. (Note- this sometimes causes another meltdown when its time to turn off, but I can do the above in less than a minute and it takes her 10-15 with at least one meltdown..)

And just a reminder to you-- it's nothing you are doing wrong. I think it's just the way they are wired. I'm the same parent to my 3 year old and he's a dream to get ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've done sleep in school clothes, but what worked better for us was, everything, EVERYTHING, set out on Sunday night. 5 "rolls" of clothes, including underwear and socks, are in a row on a special tray in DC's room. 5 days of breakfasts are in the fridge, ready to eat at home or car. Choice was actually a problem. Complete consistency, predictability, and nothing to fight about was the solution.

Good luck. DC is now 8 and these days are long behind us.

I'm the immediate pp. I am going to try this with my 5yo next week. Picking an outfit the night before hasnt worked, but I am thinking you were on to something with the "rolls" and the special tray...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dressing the night before seems 1) gross 2) totally lazy

He needs to learn to get up in the morning and get dressed.

I would start by waking him up a lot earlier. You will be less stressed with more time and you will have more time to be chilled and patient with him.

He may eat breakfast after he is dressed and if there is time after breakfast, he may play. Tell him that the night before (no playing or breakfast until dressed and teeth brushed) and again when he wakes up.

This worked for all three of mine. One needed an additional motivator too, which was, "This is what time we need to leave for school. If you aren't dressed and ready, you'll be going in your pajamas." To some kids this is a motivator, to some, it would awesome! Depends on your child.

OP here. Everything you wrote is exactly what we’re doing. We tell him, if you have time after this you can do this.

But, he screams. Aside from hitting him every time he screams, we don’t know what to do. If we get angry, he gets angrier. It is a miserable morning.

I also said in my post that waking him up early is not an option. It’s somehow makes the morning even worse. He is not a kid that you can wake up early.

He needs to go to bed earlier and wake earlier. You clearly don’t have enough time in the am. He can getcmore sleep by going down earlier.

He goes to bed at 6:30 and wakes at 6:45. This is finally perfect for us. He’s well rested. I cannot adjust his sleep.

Then I guess you suck it up since you’ve rejected every other suggestion. You’re not here for advice, your behaving an awful lot like the child you’re complaining about...

[Anonymous]

Yeah, right off the bat it's you telling him what to do.
You start with "do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt today?"
"Do you want to eat now or in 5 minutes after you build your tower?"
Give him some control. You could also make a fun chart with stickers or a white board he gets to check off.
Sometimes my stubborn 5 year old responds to being silly. Like when he starts fussing, I pretend he's a pterodactyl and I'm scared of him. Reverse psychology works great then. Like "ohh no, I hope the terrible dino doesn't eat my toast!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dressing the night before seems 1) gross 2) totally lazy

He needs to learn to get up in the morning and get dressed.

I would start by waking him up a lot earlier. You will be less stressed with more time and you will have more time to be chilled and patient with him.

He may eat breakfast after he is dressed and if there is time after breakfast, he may play. Tell him that the night before (no playing or breakfast until dressed and teeth brushed) and again when he wakes up.

This worked for all three of mine. One needed an additional motivator too, which was, "This is what time we need to leave for school. If you aren't dressed and ready, you'll be going in your pajamas." To some kids this is a motivator, to some, it would awesome! Depends on your child.

OP here. Everything you wrote is exactly what we’re doing. We tell him, if you have time after this you can do this.

But, he screams. Aside from hitting him every time he screams, we don’t know what to do. If we get angry, he gets angrier. It is a miserable morning.

I also said in my post that waking him up early is not an option. It’s somehow makes the morning even worse. He is not a kid that you can wake up early.

He needs to go to bed earlier and wake earlier. You clearly don’t have enough time in the am. He can getcmore sleep by going down earlier.

He goes to bed at 6:30 and wakes at 6:45. This is finally perfect for us. He’s well rested. I cannot adjust his sleep.

Then I guess you suck it up since you’ve rejected every other suggestion. You’re not here for advice, your behaving an awful lot like the child you’re complaining about...

+1. It's no wonder the kid doesn't do anything. I would be the same way if I had you as a parent. You're a total pushover.