Contacted by bio dad’s wife to cut off contact with bio dad

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be the contrarian here and suggest you just walk away. If it comes down to a serious talk between the three of you, the fact that you never contacted your bio dad until now is a question you will have to answer. From your post it sounds like your answer might be that I never needed you until now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him and see what he does and how he reacts. Be prepared to be hurt if he chooses the wife. She is a bad person. Don’t do what she says.

Different poster but she’s not bad. The wife has a point.

It's none of her business. She should not have said anything at all.

Of course it’s her business. She’s his wife.

Then she should talk to her husband. She was way out of line. Op owes her nothing.

Op, I’m not sure I’d come right out and rat out the woman. I’d feel him out to see how he feels about your relationship. If he asks why you are asking, then I’d bring up her comments.

NP. I disagree. I think it's safe to assume the wife has been manipulative to the dad as well. If he starts getting a weird vibe from OP he may not know how to interpret it and might go accept whatever lies wife is telling him.

It is possible he is feeling overwhelmed at the thought that you lost your dad and now he's suppose to be "a real dad". It's probably worth you reflecting on what you want from him and being honest about whether you think you will get it. but his wife put you in an impossible an unfair position by sharing these things with you and telling you not to tell. It is OK to share them with bio dad. But as other people have said--hiis wife might be right and he might not want an intense relationship with you.

But if that is going to happen it's going to happen no matter what. Probably better to be upfront. You don't have to be dramatic about it. Just tell him that wife has expressed concerns and you were wondering if he shares them. You could make it easy for him and offer to "give him space" and let him initiate the next contact if he would like. Most likely he is just confused and feeling his way the same way you are. It doesn't mean you guys have to cut off contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him and see what he does and how he reacts. Be prepared to be hurt if he chooses the wife. She is a bad person. Don’t do what she says.

Different poster but she’s not bad. The wife has a point.

It's none of her business. She should not have said anything at all.

Of course it’s her business. She’s his wife.

PP to whom you responded. No, bio-dad's relationship with his child is not her business. He can make his own decisions.

Yeah, he can make his own decisions. And I hope he can make his own meals and give good loving to himself too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him and see what he does and how he reacts. Be prepared to be hurt if he chooses the wife. She is a bad person. Don’t do what she says.

Different poster but she’s not bad. The wife has a point.

It's none of her business. She should not have said anything at all.

Of course it’s her business. She’s his wife.

PP to whom you responded. No, bio-dad's relationship with his child is not her business. He can make his own decisions.

Yeah, he can make his own decisions. And I hope he can make his own meals and give good loving to himself too.

What is a bio dad's wife called? Whatever she's called, she's on dcum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him and see what he does and how he reacts. Be prepared to be hurt if he chooses the wife. She is a bad person. Don’t do what she says.

Different poster but she’s not bad. The wife has a point.

It's none of her business. She should not have said anything at all.

Of course it’s her business. She’s his wife.

PP to whom you responded. No, bio-dad's relationship with his child is not her business. He can make his own decisions.

Yeah, he can make his own decisions. And I hope he can make his own meals and give good loving to himself too.

What is a bio dad's wife called? Whatever she's called, she's on dcum.

This one is a busybody shrew.

[Anonymous]

It is called triangulation. Would talk to bio dad and ask him if he has any issues with maintaining a relationship with you. Get his answer. If he asks why you asked - tell him after you hear his response. Go forward based on that information. Wouldn't stop based on the conversation with his wife His relationship is with you. I think a bio child showed up in a soap star's life. He didn't marry the fiancé due to her meddling Think the fiancé was Heather Locklear

[Anonymous]

A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

You can’t call the rules in that wife’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

You can’t call the rules in that wife’s house.

If someone doesn't want a relationship, it's up to them to say so. Not their meddling wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

You can’t call the rules in that wife’s house.

If someone doesn't want a relationship, it's up to them to say so. Not their meddling wife.

Her house, her rules. Period.

[Anonymous]

Agree she is probably worried about him changing his will, and/or otherwise jealous.
I would be honest with dad. Tell him you are going to reduce contact because you get the feeling it makes stepmom uncomfortable, and no one, not even an adult child, should come between two married people. Cut back on the in person visits, send birthday and father's day cards, send pictures, do a Zoom call quarterly, whatever you want. I wouldn't cut him out completely but I'd pull back.

Step mom is an evil witch but he married her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

You can’t call the rules in that wife’s house.

If someone doesn't want a relationship, it's up to them to say so. Not their meddling wife.

Her house, her rules. Period.

Nope. I would until my father told me what he thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man clings to his wife. Not to his child who was adopted and showed no interest. If the wife is uncomfortable with the relationship then the DD needs to back up. OP and her mom can go lay flowers on the dad’s burial site then be done with this new dad relationship. If you feel a need to keep in touch with bio dad then send a Christmas card, or call once a year.

The man himself needs to say that, not the wife. It's not her place. Until then, she needs to back up.

You can’t call the rules in that wife’s house.

If someone doesn't want a relationship, it's up to them to say so. Not their meddling wife.

Her house, her rules. Period.

Nope. I would until my father told me what he thought.

I would *wait

[Anonymous]

I'd have a conversation with bio and the wife. Wife is asking you to act per her wishes not yours. Being out in the open and see what your bio decides. Its your life and you are free to act in the way that feels right.