Contacted by bio dad’s wife to cut off contact with bio dad

[Anonymous]

Let's break it down:
-Bio dad and mom had a fling, mom fell pregnant
-while pregnant, mom married stepdad
-stepdad on birth certificate, bio dad told he owed nothing
-zero contact with bio dad for 30 years
-step dad passes away
-you text bio dad daily, call often, and have already visited multiple times for about a week.
-(reminder: you had zero contact with bio dad for 30. years.)
-you want to pack up your life and move to be near bio dad, and expect to stay with him for a month
-you say you want the grandparent for your kids, trips, etc. What about your mom?? Have HER be the grandparent to your kids. Have HER go on trips with you.

Get to therapy. Please.

[Anonymous]

There has been no paternity test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My bio dad knocked up my mom but she ended up marrying another man and they raised me together. My bio dad lived across the country and I knew about him but there wasn’t a relationship. My stepdad passed last year and I reached out to my bio dad and visited him and his wife. I even stayed over at their place a few times but at the last visit, his wife sat me down to say she doesn’t think it’s healthy for me to continue contact with my bio dad especially as it seems I’m only doing so because the man who raised me passed and bio dad never had a relationship with me nor is he on my birth certificate (stepdad and my mom married before I was born). I think she feels threatened by our connection and she’ll make remarks about how my bio dad and her never wanted any children together when my bio dad wasn’t home. Bio dad doesn’t know any of this as none of this took place in front of him and I’m not supposed to share any of this with him. I’m upset and don’t know how to deal with this rejection. My mom says my relationship with my bio dad would have bothered her if my stepdad were still living but she says I’m old enough to figure things out on my own. Should I share with my bio dad what his wife said to me?

Yes, absolutely share. But be ready for him to take her side

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I spoke to my bio dad and he told he thinks it’s better that we part ways. He insisted that his wife had nothing to do with it and says he just cannot be a father to me in the ways I am seeking e.g. grandfather to my future kids, vacationing together. I feel like he owes me though, because if he hadn’t had that fling with my mom, I wouldn’t have existed and now I have no family except for my mom. Anyone else ever dealt with this?

OK, different story then. You need to respect his wishes then. He knows where to find you and will do so if he wishes. He's being honest with you and you need to back off. Daily contact after 30 years without seems excessive! Seek counseling to get help in overcoming your feelings. Having your Mom is more than many have