Wife always using being an “introvert” as an excuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

WTF? You realize her personality is part of her, right? it is not easy to change your personality, nor should she have to be someone she isn't. you don't marry someone hoping they will change. after all, you're still an asshole.

I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m trying to help her become a more social person. I’m very outgoing and it’s hard to have someone by my side that’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

Um, if you can’t stand her personality, what exactly do you love about her? That’s an awful thing to say to a person.

Besides her personality, we have a lot in common.

You must be a troll since this is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

WTF? You realize her personality is part of her, right? it is not easy to change your personality, nor should she have to be someone she isn't. you don't marry someone hoping they will change. after all, you're still an asshole.

I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m trying to help her become a more social person. I’m very outgoing and it’s hard to have someone by my side that’s not.

You’re not trying but you sure are succeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

WTF? You realize her personality is part of her, right? it is not easy to change your personality, nor should she have to be someone she isn't. you don't marry someone hoping they will change. after all, you're still an asshole.

I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m trying to help her become a more social person. I’m very outgoing and it’s hard to have someone by my side that’s not.

Well, that’s the choice you made. You knew she wasn’t very social and married her anyway. Why should she be the one to change instead of you? Can’t you become less social?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP at some point you have to acknowledge that she's exactly who she showed she was before you married her too.

I have acknowledged that. I just thought after ten years, she would’ve grown as a person.

For Pete’s sake, you don’t marry someone hoping and/or assuming they’re going to change. If anything, people
tend to dig into their personality quirks the older they get.

[Anonymous]

It's social anxiety. She could go to therapy, but only if she wants to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

WTF? You realize her personality is part of her, right? it is not easy to change your personality, nor should she have to be someone she isn't. you don't marry someone hoping they will change. after all, you're still an asshole.

I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m trying to help her become a more social person. I’m very outgoing and it’s hard to have someone by my side that’s not.

You’re not trying but you sure are succeeding.

Perhaps he’s just naturally gifted at it.

[Anonymous]

"I don't hate you, I hate your personality." If someone said this to you, you wouldn't feel personally attacked?

I'm an introvert, and I can tell you right now, there are times when I would give anything to be an extrovert - happy to engage in superficial conversation about absolutely nothing for hours on end. Over time I've learned how, and so for much of my existence I feel like I'm living someone else's life, being "On" for people, for their benefit. It's absolutely exhausting, and this time of year too is absolute hell with all of the gatherings and family obligations.

It isn't easy being in a relationship with an introvert, especially in a world that simply won't shut the f*ck up. But I have to think there are qualities she brings to the table that you probably are taking for granted. You can either try to understand her, or do yourself (and HER) a favor, and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She might be shy and feeling insecure.

You sound like you hate your wife, by the way. Why don't you try to emphasize and approach the situation with kindness? You're more likely to have success that way.

You sound like my wife. I told her I can’t stand her personality and she took it as me saying I can’t stand her. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have married her. I’ve tried to approach it with kindness, but she immediately gets defensive and it starts a fight.

WTF? You realize her personality is part of her, right? it is not easy to change your personality, nor should she have to be someone she isn't. you don't marry someone hoping they will change. after all, you're still an asshole.

I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m trying to help her become a more social person. I’m very outgoing and it’s hard to have someone by my side that’s not.

Well, that’s the choice you made. You knew she wasn’t very social and married her anyway. Why should she be the one to change instead of you? Can’t you become less social?

I’ve tried and it’s boring to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I don't hate you, I hate your personality." If someone said this to you, you wouldn't feel personally attacked?

I'm an introvert, and I can tell you right now, there are times when I would give anything to be an extrovert - happy to engage in superficial conversation about absolutely nothing for hours on end. Over time I've learned how, and so for much of my existence I feel like I'm living someone else's life, being "On" for people, for their benefit. It's absolutely exhausting, and this time of year too is absolute hell with all of the gatherings and family obligations.

It isn't easy being in a relationship with an introvert, especially in a world that simply won't shut the f*ck up. But I have to think there are qualities she brings to the table that you probably are taking for granted. You can either try to understand her, or do yourself (and HER) a favor, and call it a day.

Thank you for this. She’s the only introvert I know so this hasn’t been easy for me. It’s nice to get another introvert’s prospective. But I have to say, I give you a lot of credit for at least trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's social anxiety. She could go to therapy, but only if she wants to change.

Funny you say that, we were in marriage counseling and the counselor told her she should seek therapy on her own to deal with her issues.

[Anonymous]

You would both probably be happier if you just divorced.

[Anonymous]

Brother, is that you? Thank god you've finally come to your senses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's social anxiety. She could go to therapy, but only if she wants to change.

Funny you say that, we were in marriage counseling and the counselor told her she should seek therapy on her own to deal with her issues.

What did the marriage counselor tell you that you should work on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's social anxiety. She could go to therapy, but only if she wants to change.

Funny you say that, we were in marriage counseling and the counselor told her she should seek therapy on her own to deal with her issues.

What did the marriage counselor tell you that you should work on?

Being more understanding. I’m still working on it, but it’s not easy.