Can anyone help me understand family with really low expectations for their kids?

[Anonymous]

MYOB, B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really threatened by their parenting choices. Why is that? Why does it make you insecure that they're not doing the same thing you are?

My nieces and nephew are doomed, it appears. That's the realization I came to. And it caught me really off guard.

[Anonymous]

I know a ton of families like that.

Kids do different jobs... one makes glass literally from sand and sells his work in small shops.

I'm actually more amazed when somebody is making a cool living.

I know a couple that teaches kayaking.
I know a guy that paints cars and make $80k.
I know a guy that fixes cars.

I know a girl that opened a boutique all on her own without her parents money. She has had it for 10 years and is successful.

I think the idea that everybody needs great grades and college is total BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really threatened by their parenting choices. Why is that? Why does it make you insecure that they're not doing the same thing you are?

My nieces and nephew are doomed, it appears. That's the realization I came to. And it caught me really off guard.

Hmm, sounds like you think your kids aren't capable of success unless you micromanage everything. I feel sad for them that their parents doesn't believe in them more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they talked about the kids' friends, there was failing school, drugs, tattoos, teen pregnancy. So these issues are present in their kids' social circles but as long as their kids steer clear, it's fine? I can't fathom letting my kids be within 20 miles of that sort of culture. I would literally sell our house tomorrow if my kids were hanging out with low people like that. It wasn't really THAT big of a deal to them.

Grades weren't you better get A's... it was as long as they're passing we don't really pay attention to it. They had no idea what sort of classes they were taking (AP, honors, normal track).

Um, if you live in the DC area you absolutely live within 20 miles of drugs, tattoos and kids failing. Why don’t you worry about your own parenting? You sound incredibly judgmental and elitist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they talked about the kids' friends, there was failing school, drugs, tattoos, teen pregnancy. So these issues are present in their kids' social circles but as long as their kids steer clear, it's fine? I can't fathom letting my kids be within 20 miles of that sort of culture. I would literally sell our house tomorrow if my kids were hanging out with low people like that. It wasn't really THAT big of a deal to them.

Grades weren't you better get A's... it was as long as they're passing we don't really pay attention to it. They had no idea what sort of classes they were taking (AP, honors, normal track).

It's funny that you think your kids aren't sitting in class with kids who are doing drugs, getting tattoos, and having sex. Unless they're in elementary school, in which case it's hilarious that you think you have high school all figured out already.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of different ways to be a good person in this world. Those ways don't all look alike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they talked about the kids' friends, there was failing school, drugs, tattoos, teen pregnancy. So these issues are present in their kids' social circles but as long as their kids steer clear, it's fine? I can't fathom letting my kids be within 20 miles of that sort of culture. I would literally sell our house tomorrow if my kids were hanging out with low people like that. It wasn't really THAT big of a deal to them.

Grades weren't you better get A's... it was as long as they're passing we don't really pay attention to it. They had no idea what sort of classes they were taking (AP, honors, normal track).

You are delusional if you think your kids' circle is free of drugs, tattoos, and the possibility of teen pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean that they’re okay if their kids drop out of high school and never get real jobs? Or do you just mean that they’re okay if their kids get a “normal” or even blue collar job instead of being a doctor? Also, what do you mean by “expectations for service”?

Expectations and planning for the future seems nonexistent. School isn't valued. If they were disclosing the things they were saying on the phone my jaw would have been on the floor because it sounded so backwards and ignorant. But again, this is a seemingly normal middle class couple if you look at them.

Let me guess, you are in your elitist bubble looking down on others not like you. You might want to save for future mental health services, your children are going to need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a ton of families like that.

Kids do different jobs... one makes glass literally from sand and sells his work in small shops.

I'm actually more amazed when somebody is making a cool living.

I know a couple that teaches kayaking.
I know a guy that paints cars and make $80k.
I know a guy that fixes cars.

I know a girl that opened a boutique all on her own without her parents money. She has had it for 10 years and is successful.

I think the idea that everybody needs great grades and college is total BS.

I didn't bring college up. But sure, very safe to say college doesn't seem in the cards -- which is fine! But nor was anything else being discussed or planned for. No passions, no pursuits, no grooming to position for success. It was really startling, is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a ton of families like that.

Kids do different jobs... one makes glass literally from sand and sells his work in small shops.

I'm actually more amazed when somebody is making a cool living.

I know a couple that teaches kayaking.
I know a guy that paints cars and make $80k.
I know a guy that fixes cars.

I know a girl that opened a boutique all on her own without her parents money. She has had it for 10 years and is successful.

I think the idea that everybody needs great grades and college is total BS.

I didn't bring college up. But sure, very safe to say college doesn't seem in the cards -- which is fine! But nor was anything else being discussed or planned for. No passions, no pursuits, no grooming to position for success. It was really startling, is all.

How do you know college isn't in the cards for them? You've yet to identify anything these kids are doing wrong. Not everything is gunning for Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they talked about the kids' friends, there was failing school, drugs, tattoos, teen pregnancy. So these issues are present in their kids' social circles but as long as their kids steer clear, it's fine? I can't fathom letting my kids be within 20 miles of that sort of culture. I would literally sell our house tomorrow if my kids were hanging out with low people like that. It wasn't really THAT big of a deal to them.

Grades weren't you better get A's... it was as long as they're passing we don't really pay attention to it. They had no idea what sort of classes they were taking (AP, honors, normal track).

You are delusional if you think your kids' circle is free of drugs, tattoos, and the possibility of teen pregnancy.

I can assure you on good authority there aren't kids failing out of school, getting kicked out of their house, getting arrested, getting tattoos, in my kids' social circles. They're letting their kids mix with trash and didn't seem all that concerned about it; actually in denial about it, that their kids are different and a little better than the peers in their social circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a ton of families like that.

Kids do different jobs... one makes glass literally from sand and sells his work in small shops.

I'm actually more amazed when somebody is making a cool living.

I know a couple that teaches kayaking.
I know a guy that paints cars and make $80k.
I know a guy that fixes cars.

I know a girl that opened a boutique all on her own without her parents money. She has had it for 10 years and is successful.

I think the idea that everybody needs great grades and college is total BS.

I didn't bring college up. But sure, very safe to say college doesn't seem in the cards -- which is fine! But nor was anything else being discussed or planned for. No passions, no pursuits, no grooming to position for success. It was really startling, is all.

You think parents "groomed" their kids to paint cars, blow glass or fix cars.

You are delusional. Also, how old are your kids... I suspect they are <teens. Karma is a bitch. I would practice being less judgemental. >

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a ton of families like that.

Kids do different jobs... one makes glass literally from sand and sells his work in small shops.

I'm actually more amazed when somebody is making a cool living.

I know a couple that teaches kayaking.
I know a guy that paints cars and make $80k.
I know a guy that fixes cars.

I know a girl that opened a boutique all on her own without her parents money. She has had it for 10 years and is successful.

I think the idea that everybody needs great grades and college is total BS.

I didn't bring college up. But sure, very safe to say college doesn't seem in the cards -- which is fine! But nor was anything else being discussed or planned for. No passions, no pursuits, no grooming to position for success. It was really startling, is all.

Are you hearing yourself? I know many parents just like you, one in particular, both kids at Darmouth and seemingly successful in all their pursuits. They are the MOST F u kids I know, but I saw it coming. She is/was just like you and this isnt the only kids I know who ended up with issues. Grooming, really? You are grooming your children to walk in your shoes? Don't answer, please, don't answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they talked about the kids' friends, there was failing school, drugs, tattoos, teen pregnancy. So these issues are present in their kids' social circles but as long as their kids steer clear, it's fine? I can't fathom letting my kids be within 20 miles of that sort of culture. I would literally sell our house tomorrow if my kids were hanging out with low people like that. It wasn't really THAT big of a deal to them.

Grades weren't you better get A's... it was as long as they're passing we don't really pay attention to it. They had no idea what sort of classes they were taking (AP, honors, normal track).

You are delusional if you think your kids' circle is free of drugs, tattoos, and the possibility of teen pregnancy.

I can assure you on good authority there aren't kids failing out of school, getting kicked out of their house, getting arrested, getting tattoos, in my kids' social circles. They're letting their kids mix with trash and didn't seem all that concerned about it; actually in denial about it, that their kids are different and a little better than the peers in their social circles.

Please stop referring to other children as “trash”. You really are a piece of work OP. I hope karma kicks your butt!