Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be very careful being judgmental OP. You have no idea how that is all going to work out until all your kids are grown. Seriously, we all know families who were judgmental and ended up with kids who crashed and burned. Not saying that will happen, but kids can be unpredictable and so can life. Slow your roll. Trust me.
This is so true.
My parents expected we would go to college. I was the valedictorian, went to an Ivy League school and grad school, never touched a drug or had sex in high school type. So worked out for me.
My middle brother had some mental health issues and a rebellious streak. There were drugs. There were not straight As. And it turns out when your kid is 15 years old, you can refuse to drive them places, but you sure can't control their social circle at school. The scariest part for me was that one or two if his friends killed themselves in high school, so I just wanted him to get through alive. It took him until his mid-20s to graduate from his third college after bouncing back home a few times and working fast food, but he has a career he truly loves where his rebellious steak is a strength now.
Youngest brother is autistic. Will probably never be self supporting, didn't go to college, lives at home, a big issue for my parents is planning for after they're gone.
My point is that "high expectations" really only works on the kids who are already prone to doing what you want. There are a lot of issues where they will not help your kid make it ok to adulthood, and sometimes academic achievement isn't even the biggest thing you need to focus on.
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