Should I go to his mother’s funeral?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has he asked you to go? If so, go for sure.

If not, I agree - show up sit in the back, pay your respects and leave. Don't tell anyone you are dating him.

He told me when the funeral is. He didn’t ask me to go,

He just lost his mother... he can’t handle navigating the awkwardness of inviting you to the funeral. I agree with all who’ve said to go and sit in the back. FWIW, anytime you can show up at a funeral you should. Even if you just wanted to be friends, it’s nice to go. Don’t overthink this one!

They’ve been on 2 dates. Two. That doesn’t even qualify as friends yet. Give him a nice card letting him know you are thinking of him and then give him space.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has he asked you to go? If so, go for sure.

If not, I agree - show up sit in the back, pay your respects and leave. Don't tell anyone you are dating him.


He told me when the funeral is. He didn’t ask me to go,


He just lost his mother... he can’t handle navigating the awkwardness of inviting you to the funeral. I agree with all who’ve said to go and sit in the back. FWIW, anytime you can show up at a funeral you should. Even if you just wanted to be friends, it’s nice to go. Don’t overthink this one!


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has he asked you to go? If so, go for sure.

If not, I agree - show up sit in the back, pay your respects and leave. Don't tell anyone you are dating him.


He told me when the funeral is. He didn’t ask me to go,


He just lost his mother... he can’t handle navigating the awkwardness of inviting you to the funeral. I agree with all who’ve said to go and sit in the back. FWIW, anytime you can show up at a funeral you should. Even if you just wanted to be friends, it’s nice to go. Don’t overthink this one!


Go, sit in the back, if you get a chance give him a hug and then leave. Don’t hang around because you won’t want to intrude on his family. Be there for him, but definitely don’t take center stage. Don’t introduce yourself as his girlfriend either - he doesn’t need that kind of pressure - if anyone asks say you’re a friend.
Anonymous
How about you talk about it with him? Let him know you don't wish to intrude, but would like to pop in quietly. Let him know that there was no need to indicate the two of you were dating to his family & friends. etc.
Anonymous
If they’re Catholic, go to the wake, not the funeral.
Anonymous
No! Obviously not. That would be weird and stalkery. Send a card or bake cookies for him. Why would you go to the funeral of the mother of someone you met twice? I would just find that really bizarre and upsetting if I was him.
Anonymous
Good question. It could make or break your relationship. Just be wary of making any big moves for the next 6 months. My X proposed when a close relative died suddenly. I didn’t recognize it was grief.
Anonymous
Absolutely unless it requires a lot of travel. He will appreciate that you are there for him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t. Don’t play wife to someone you’ve been out with twice.


How is going to his mother’s funeral playing wife?


It’s offering emotional support to someone who hasn’t committed to her. I’ve seen it happen many times- someone offers to be the shoulder to cry on in hopes the other person will recognize what a great partner they are. Instead, what usually happens is the person grieving happily uses the support (and sex) provided, then move on once they are done grieving.

She doesn’t need to be heartless about it, but going to the funeral is too much effort for what’s invested.
Anonymous
No
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has he asked you to go? If so, go for sure.

If not, I agree - show up sit in the back, pay your respects and leave. Don't tell anyone you are dating him.


He told me when the funeral is. He didn’t ask me to go,


If he didn’t ask you to go, do NOT just show up. That’s creepy. Don’t even ask if you can go. If he wanted you there, he would have invited you. He probably wants to grieve with people he is close to and who knew his mom, not some random girl he just met.

Anonymous
Yes - do go but to funeral only. Say hello at receiving line and then leave. It’s the right thing to do and he’ll appreciate- especially if you are there but not trying to be more than a supportive friend.

IF this relationship goes anywhere it will be even more meaningful but for now-doing the correct thing is the right thing
Anonymous
Not just no... But no fing way.

2 dates, are you insane.

Just no. That the stuff for very creepy movies.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No! Obviously not. That would be weird and stalkery. Send a card or bake cookies for him. Why would you go to the funeral of the mother of someone you met twice? I would just find that really bizarre and upsetting if I was him.

+1 I can’t believe how many people are recommending OP go. She doesn’t really know this man and he doesn’t know her. I think the PPs are imagining a Hallmark movie where the shy girl attends the funeral and the family thinks - wow, who so that sweet and lovely girl in the back of the church? The man turns to look and falls head over heels in love.

That’s not going to happen. Give the man some space unless he says otherwise.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yes - do go but to funeral only. Say hello at receiving line and then leave. It’s the right thing to do and he’ll appreciate- especially if you are there but not trying to be more than a supportive friend.

IF this relationship goes anywhere it will be even more meaningful but for now-doing the correct thing is the right thing

But they are not friends. Having gone out with him twice barely makes them acquaintances.
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