At what age would you tell a child about an affair?

[Anonymous]

Never. None of your business. Busy body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on whether the child would actually care. With an aunt or uncle, I just have a hard time seeing that be important to a kid unless they are very close. Or unless it explains behavior that would otherwise seem weird (like kicking someone out of the family).

This. Tell the kid the truth if they ask, but I doubt they care to know. Would you care to know that about an aunt/uncle? Doubt it.

[Anonymous]

I would say the person chose to leave the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my kid around 15. I won’t hide anyone. You cheat, I tell people. You should be embarrassed.

It’s so classy to use your kid as a weapon against someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my kid around 15. I won’t hide anyone. You cheat, I tell people. You should be embarrassed.

It’s so classy to use your kid as a weapon against someone else.

And so great for the kid’s mental health too!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my kid around 15. I won’t hide anyone. You cheat, I tell people. You should be embarrassed.

It’s so classy to use your kid as a weapon against someone else.

I’m not lying for you are anyone. I’m honest with my kid. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Never. It isnt your business to tell.

[Anonymous]

Tell the truth Oman age appropriate way when they ask. Better than lying and twisting the truth to make yourself feel better and the kid is hurt later when the truth comes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my kid around 15. I won’t hide anyone. You cheat, I tell people. You should be embarrassed.

It’s so classy to use your kid as a weapon against someone else.

I’m not lying for you are anyone. I’m honest with my kid. Sorry not sorry.

“You are anyone”

*head explodes*

[Anonymous]

I'd likely be age-appropriate honest about it if it were a relative and they kid was asking.

Now, to be a total hypocrite, I will never tell my children their father is a philanderer and have made it clear to my family that they won't tell them either. But, to me, that's a different kettle of fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just thinking child would ask questions given that affair relationship is ongoing after the divorce.

“Larla is Uncle Joe’s girlfriend. As you know, Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane got divorced, so they’re free to date other people now.”

OP here. I think this is a good approach if child asks--hopefully we can say it nonchalantly, despite it being a total surprise and currently a fraught issue within the family--and the child won't put two and two together (i.e., that the relationship may have started before the divorce, since right now is immediately after).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just thinking child would ask questions given that affair relationship is ongoing after the divorce.

“Larla is Uncle Joe’s girlfriend. As you know, Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane got divorced, so they’re free to date other people now.”

OP here. I think this is a good approach if child asks--hopefully we can say it nonchalantly, despite it being a total surprise and currently a fraught issue within the family--and the child won't put two and two together (i.e., that the relationship may have started before the divorce, since right now is immediately after).

I would do your best to be nonchalant, and if anyone else starts talking about it around your kid, I would shut it down. Your child is too young to be involved in intimate family affairs, and it would be inappropriate for anyone else to bring him/her into it. As a parent, this is one where you put aside your feelings about the adults involved and protect your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just thinking child would ask questions given that affair relationship is ongoing after the divorce.

“Larla is Uncle Joe’s girlfriend. As you know, Uncle Joe and Aunt Jane got divorced, so they’re free to date other people now.”

OP here. I think this is a good approach if child asks--hopefully we can say it nonchalantly, despite it being a total surprise and currently a fraught issue within the family--and the child won't put two and two together (i.e., that the relationship may have started before the divorce, since right now is immediately after).

I would do your best to be nonchalant, and if anyone else starts talking about it around your kid, I would shut it down. Your child is too young to be involved in intimate family affairs, and it would be inappropriate for anyone else to bring him/her into it. As a parent, this is one where you put aside your feelings about the adults involved and protect your child.

OP here. Yes, agree--thanks for the reminder. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Never.

And those saying 15-16 HELL NO that is THE WORST AGE!!!

There’s no reason to tell them about the affair.

[Anonymous]

Geeze people. Never. My dad cheated on my mom, resulting in their divorce when I was 2. They were always relatively civil to each other. My mom told me about the cheating when I was 17. I felt like I had been hit with a baseball bat. Never. NEVER.