SAHM - do you get "used" to it
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Anonymous
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You need to find a good mom’s group. This is a temporary phase, not a mandatory life sentence.
A lot of this is the age of your kiddo and that you are pregnant... It’s more fun when you have other people to drink coffee with and laugh about it. Many moms groups have child care during the meetings too. |
Anonymous
| Let go of the need to have everything always clean or get a weekly cleaning service. Cut yourself some slack, being home with young kids is a lot of work, just not the kind you are used to. |
Anonymous
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I didn’t stay at home because I loved cleaning, that was just the price I paid to be the main caregiver for my kids. Women don’t chose to stay home because they love doing laundry and running errands, some women (myself included) do it because they believe that they are the best possible caregiver for their kid.
It’s not a lifestyle choice it’s a care giver choice. |
Anonymous
No. YOU do. F off. -NP |
Anonymous
I like all of those things and would love to SAH if that's what I actually did get to do. But with a toddler, I never seem to get to that. Just endless pretend play, or kid activities outside of the house (library story time kind of makes me want to die), and attempting to feed and clean enough to not get CPS called with a 3 y/o pestering me most of that time. I love my son and spending time with him, but SAH full time is not for me. Maybe when he's school aged...but then that doesn't make financial sense for us. |
Anonymous
| I couldn’t do it, OP. I stayed home for the first year of DD’s life and while I loved that time with her, the housework and never ending clean up got to me, too. And the boredom. |
Anonymous
I understand that - as I noted I’m sure no one loves that part. I’m more curious that if you really dislike that part (just like people have various parts of any job they dislike) do you get more used to it as it becomes your new normal or will it always feel like “gaaaaahhhh I have to wipe down the floor / wall / dog 2 more times today!” |
Anonymous
Yeah I currently only know one other sahp - we get together most days but every day drags of the same routine. If I got together with more people / did more things maybe the monotony of the chore aspects of staying home wouldn’t get to me as much |
Anonymous
| I’d absolutely hate it and could never get used to it. Best scenario (I think) is an at least somewhat flexible job plus full time child care. |
Anonymous
you sound awful and worse, boring. |
Anonymous
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Good advice from many on this forum. Without a plan and organization being a SAHM is hard and without a plan and organization being a WOHM is hard.
Have a realistic idea of what you are signing up for, what kind of a person you are, and what the end result you want to achieve. Know yourself. When I became a SAHM at my DH's request - I thought long and hard and I did a lot of introspection about who I was, what I could deal with and what I needed do succeed. I was pretty clear about four things. A) If my DH could not swing the living costs, mortgage, retirement and college without my paycheck, I was not quitting. B) We were not getting rid of the cleaning ladies and other support staff/services that we employed when I was WOHM C) We were not reducing any costs at home and I wanted at least 3% more for household funds every year and D) I was the final word in running the house, household budget and kids education. It has worked out very well because I was not staying back home to do the work a cleaning lady or a nanny/babysitter could do. I was there to parent my children and make sure that they benefited by spending time with a mother who has several college degrees. OP, you are educated. Surely you can find a way to create an enriching, healthy and fun day for your child? If you need some help to do the menial work, go ahead and outsource. If you need your child to get some socialization with other kids, make it happen. And if this gig is making you sad, have a plan to rejoin the workforce and still meet your kids needs. WOHMs and SAHMs make it happen every day. And yes, raising a child in their early years (I would put that from birth to elementary school), is very taxing in terms of labor and time. |
Anonymous
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It's part of the Sahm "job" - all things kid-related fall to you which include the un-fun parts like cleanup, meal prep, groceries, engaging, potty training, etc.
On the flip side, you don't have a commute or work in a stressful office. Not everyone can deal with the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do you have a housekeeper or was that someone else replying? Talk it over with DH. Some SAHM have housekeepers, a PT nanny/babysitter, etc. They get flamed on it here on DCUM, but if it keeps your sanity then fine. BUT you better learn how to put your big girl pants on and deal with it b/c once your #2 comes along it won't get any easier (in fact, given your post, it sounds like this is real struggle just managing a toddler). |
Anonymous
| Most of the time people hate to become SAHM because of the chores and the task of looking after small kids. Being at work is an escape from that. |
Anonymous
| I’m on year three and while I love my child dearly, some tone apart would be lovely. I also miss working. Look forward to going back. I’ve adapted, and I’m sure I’ll miss the openness of schedule, but I don’t consider myself used to it. At all. |
Anonymous
PT. I have 3 kids and have someone come 3x per week. |