SAHM - do you get "used" to it

[Anonymous]

I sure didn’t even get used to it. Did it for a year with 3 kids (newborn, 2, and 4) while living overseas in a country where I couldn’t work (reason for the move was an incredible fellowship opportunity DH couldn’t pass up). It was great in a lot of ways, and honestly being home with the kids wasn’t that hard and mostly felt like we were on vacation, but I missed my own (to me) meaningful career. I agree with the multitudes poster. I want more out of life than just my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being a sahm. I love not going to work and I really don’t mind cleaning up throughout the day but I do have a cleaning crew come every few weeks. He’s 18 months old now and gives me some challenging days but overall we have so much fun. One thing that helps our days go smooth is having something to do outside of the house every day. We have music classes, mommy and me, days at my parents, the library, play dates with friends etc. I keep him and myself busy! Ive also found an amazing group of moms that I’ve gotten close to and we spend a lot of time with each other with and without kids. In my entire life I’ve never been so happy.

I think this is part of the reason I could never be a SAHM - the kind of people who find that kind of life (insular, financially dependent) are just not my people. I love my kids, and I love being a doctor. Can't imagine having life of just hanging out with my friends and kids. Sounds like a fun vacation maybe, but I contain multitudes and need a bit more than than, thanks.

Is this what you think being a SAHM is? Do people really think that SAHMs have nothing else going on in their lives because they don't have an employer? Most that I know have at least one exciting creative project (and no, I'm not talking about knitting, but think writing, art, photography) going on the side. They also have more energy to read heavy books and they see the world differently because they get to see it through the eyes of their children more often. When I SAH, I was far more interesting and productive than I am now that I'm back at my "demanding" office job. I mean, jesus, just because WOH parents lack imagination, doesn't mean you should be a total dick about people who make different choices than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sure didn’t even get used to it. Did it for a year with 3 kids (newborn, 2, and 4) while living overseas in a country where I couldn’t work (reason for the move was an incredible fellowship opportunity DH couldn’t pass up). It was great in a lot of ways, and honestly being home with the kids wasn’t that hard and mostly felt like we were on vacation, but I missed my own (to me) meaningful career. I agree with the multitudes poster. I want more out of life than just my kids.

Parents who take time off from working to look after their children have nothing more in life but the eating, toileting, and sleeping habits of their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sure didn’t even get used to it. Did it for a year with 3 kids (newborn, 2, and 4) while living overseas in a country where I couldn’t work (reason for the move was an incredible fellowship opportunity DH couldn’t pass up). It was great in a lot of ways, and honestly being home with the kids wasn’t that hard and mostly felt like we were on vacation, but I missed my own (to me) meaningful career. I agree with the multitudes poster. I want more out of life than just my kids.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard your story a million times on here. You make sure to add your insight to every post containing the word SAHM. Anyone who thinks having a newborn, 2, and 4 year is old is easy either a) is lying, b) had a nanny, c) allows kids to watch an insane amount of tv, or d) has the easiest kids in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sure didn’t even get used to it. Did it for a year with 3 kids (newborn, 2, and 4) while living overseas in a country where I couldn’t work (reason for the move was an incredible fellowship opportunity DH couldn’t pass up). It was great in a lot of ways, and honestly being home with the kids wasn’t that hard and mostly felt like we were on vacation, but I missed my own (to me) meaningful career. I agree with the multitudes poster. I want more out of life than just my kids.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard your story a million times on here. You make sure to add your insight to every post containing the word SAHM. Anyone who thinks having a newborn, 2, and 4 year is old is easy either a) is lying, b) had a nanny, c) allows kids to watch an insane amount of tv, or d) has the easiest kids in the world.

Wowie. That touched a nerve.

[Anonymous]

I embraced the saying, "A messy home is a sign of a well developing toddler." I can't remember where I read it, but it got me over the Good Housekeeping guilt. I haven't found the phrase to apply to my future empty nest though ... hmmm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sure didn’t even get used to it. Did it for a year with 3 kids (newborn, 2, and 4) while living overseas in a country where I couldn’t work (reason for the move was an incredible fellowship opportunity DH couldn’t pass up). It was great in a lot of ways, and honestly being home with the kids wasn’t that hard and mostly felt like we were on vacation, but I missed my own (to me) meaningful career. I agree with the multitudes poster. I want more out of life than just my kids.

Seriously, if your time away from paid work was "just my kids," that was your problem. Don't project that onto others.

[Anonymous]

I’m over a year in and not totally used to it. My kids are 5, 2 and 3 months, and while it’s not intellectually taxing, it is taxing in every other way. The work starts at 6:30 and goes til 8, if you include cleanup. And the baby is not quite STTN yet, so both DH and I are chronically sleep deprived. I don’t get bored, but that’s because I’m never bored. For stimulation I read a lot (news and books). It helps to have lots of friends and family nearby.

TBH, I probably have some PPD now. Before the baby came, I was enjoying myself a lot more.

[Anonymous]

You all need to grow up and get real. What do you think it’s supposed to be like when you have a baby? There is going to be cleaning up. Lots of it. There is going to be playing with your child. Lots of it. There is going to be whining and there is going to be joy. Focus on the joy.
Work outside of the home if you have to or choose to. You still have to be a parent when you go home.
A lot of first world problems on here.