SAHM - do you get "used" to it

[Anonymous]

I don't hate the cleaning up part. I feel like I spend a crazy part of my day either cooking or feeding or cleaning up from cooking and feeding, but I do not hate it.

It doesn't sound like you are suited to SAH, and that's fine. Can you just take off from now until baby is 3 months and then plan to go back at that point?

I also had a PT nanny when my kids were very young. Maybe that would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's part of the Sahm "job" - all things kid-related fall to you which include the un-fun parts like cleanup, meal prep, groceries, engaging, potty training, etc.
On the flip side, you don't have a commute or work in a stressful office.

Not everyone can deal with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Do you have a housekeeper or was that someone else replying?

Talk it over with DH. Some SAHM have housekeepers, a PT nanny/babysitter, etc. They get flamed on it here on DCUM, but if it keeps your sanity then fine.

BUT you better learn how to put your big girl pants on and deal with it b/c once your #2 comes along it won't get any easier (in fact, given your post, it sounds like this is real struggle just managing a toddler).

I have a PT nanny and housekeeper. I have 3 kids. Youngest is a toddler and a handful.

When I was a SAHM of 2, we had just the PT housekeeper.

When I was pregnant with #3 and nauseous, we had a FT housekeeper come 5 days per week AND our old nanny come on weekends because DH couldn’t deal with the mess daily after working. I have really bad morning sickness and was pretty much out of commission.

[Anonymous]

Get a podcast you love and listen to it while you do the busy work.

You don’t have to interact with them 100% of the time.

Make friends with another couple of moms. It helps to have “coworkers” to talk to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m on year three and while I love my child dearly, some tone apart would be lovely. I also miss working. Look forward to going back. I’ve adapted, and I’m sure I’ll miss the openness of schedule, but I don’t consider myself used to it. At all.

I have a two-year-old and a 6-month old, and I feel this way too. Of course there are moments I enjoy, but often I feel like I'm just surviving and counting the hours until naptime/bedtime. OP, having two this young is hard work and very monotonous. I've started my job search and I'm ready to have more adult-centric activities in my daily routine.

[Anonymous]

No, I never got used to being home and a “housewife”. I love my kids more than my life but the day-to-day stunning boredom was more than I could handle. I hired an exceptional nanny who got her degree in early childhood education and can teach and engage my kids better than I did and a housekeeper three days a week. I was much happier going back to work and have a much, much better relationship with DH since returning too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a housekeeper.

A full time one that cleans up after meals etc?

PT. I have 3 kids and have someone come 3x per week.

+ 1

Me too. I have 2 and I have someone come 2x per week. That has allowed me to be happy to SAHM and not overwhelmed. I also had my 3 yr old go to Montessori for 1/2 a day. I paid full price but use the Montessori as a part time enriched play group. Kid got up late, went to the school in a leisurely fashion, learned phonetics, played with friends and then was picked up early. He was happy and mama was happy.

[Anonymous]

Even at 3x a week you still have some cleaning and tidying to do no?

My kids make a mess every damn meal.

[Anonymous]

You should have more fun when your 15mo is a bit older and more verbal. Hang in there and try to conceptualize this as a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you even have kids op? You sound awful.

Oh yeah. Totally awful. The main reason to have kids is so you can get extra time sweeping the floor and putting away toys and cleaning the high chair tray. If you don't all love that, please give your kids to someone who does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you even have kids op? You sound awful.

Oh yeah. Totally awful. The main reason to have kids is so you can get extra time sweeping the floor and putting away toys and cleaning the high chair tray. If you don't all love that, please give your kids to someone who does.

So, on the weekends and evenings you are a parent you don’t do those things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a housekeeper.

A full time one that cleans up after meals etc?

PT. I have 3 kids and have someone come 3x per week.

Apples and oranges. OP has 1 kid; whom I assume naps at least 2 hrs daily seeing Op said he's a toddler. Not 3 kids like you.
True, shes expectant, but it's hard to imagine Op needs a housekeeper for keeping up with 1 kid.

[Anonymous]

I hated it the first year, was neutral the second year and now really like it. But my kids are a little older and have activities and school stuff, so I am always out and about with them/their stuff. Plus I have a cleaning person who comes weekly and a regular babysitter. Without that, I would much prefer to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated it the first year, was neutral the second year and now really like it. But my kids are a little older and have activities and school stuff, so I am always out and about with them/their stuff. Plus I have a cleaning person who comes weekly and a regular babysitter. Without that, I would much prefer to work.

And being home with just one mostly non-talking child was boring AF. It got much more fun once the older ones could talk and we could do stuff, not just eat Cheerios and throw half on the floor. I also have a dog who handles food messes expertly.

[Anonymous]

My husband is overseas and I found starting around 18 months, introducing the idea of helping me clean up messes was helpful. So he throws the food he throws on the floor at meals into the trash at the end of the meal. He helps me wipe up spills. He helps me pick up his toys at the designated time. He helps me unload the dishwasher. I got him his own toy vacuum so he can vacuum along right next to me. I even showed him where all the clothes in the dresser go and he helps me put those away (and keeps him occupied) while I'm folding the rest of the laundry. Of course he didn't really get helpful with these things until closer to age 2 or later but like I said, it's been really helpful that I'm not cleaning literally everything in this house and it should be coming up soon for you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a housekeeper.

A full time one that cleans up after meals etc?

PT. I have 3 kids and have someone come 3x per week.

Apples and oranges. OP has 1 kid; whom I assume naps at least 2 hrs daily seeing Op said he's a toddler. Not 3 kids like you.
True, shes expectant, but it's hard to imagine Op needs a housekeeper for keeping up with 1 kid.

Wow. Way to judge and categorize who qualifies for empathy.