Starting to Think I'll Never Meet Anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“A well put together 50 year old man can get a 35 year old easily. I'm sure you are a nice person but you aren't in demand in that demographic. You will have to find an older partner or decide you are ok with casual relationships. That's just life. It ain't fair but it's real.”

There’s a cover for every pot, but most 50 year old guys are looking for women their age who are able to support themselves, have similar interests, are at a similar place in life, and are not interested in having (more) kids.

Obviously written by a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Very early 50s divorced mom of two teens

You should not be meeting a special someone. Not now. Ideally not now. Your children are teens. It's far from ideal. Wait. Wait till they are -both- in college.

A mom is not a parent machine - when the husband is gone there is no adult to fill the emotional (and other needs) of mom. She then becomes needy, depressed aka not a good parent. Ask me how I know

[Anonymous]

I think you need to just focus on living your life and if it happens it happens.


That’s a prescription for growing old with cats. OP wants to be not single. Don’t tell her “no you want to enjoy being single” merely because you enjoy being single. Go do that. OP doesn’t want that.

Being anxious about meeting someone is NOT a way to make yourself attractive to someone worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to just focus on living your life and if it happens it happens.


That’s a prescription for growing old with cats. OP wants to be not single. Don’t tell her “no you want to enjoy being single” merely because you enjoy being single. Go do that. OP doesn’t want that.

Ok, what would you suggest she do? She's tried dating sites, she's tried asking friends to set her up, and to date, it hasn't worked. So she's putting herself out there. It'll either happen or it won't, worrying about it is not going to help. Being a happy, relaxed person who's good with where she is in life is going to make her a more attractive partner than being anxious and unhappy about being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Very early 50s divorced mom of two teens

You should not be meeting a special someone. Not now. Ideally not now. Your children are teens. It's far from ideal. Wait. Wait till they are -both- in college.

Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“A well put together 50 year old man can get a 35 year old easily. I'm sure you are a nice person but you aren't in demand in that demographic. You will have to find an older partner or decide you are ok with casual relationships. That's just life. It ain't fair but it's real.”

There’s a cover for every pot, but most 50 year old guys are looking for women their age who are able to support themselves, have similar interests, are at a similar place in life, and are not interested in having (more) kids.

Nope. They are looking for a few years of great sex before the ol' pecker quits working

This is very true especially if the ol' pecker had been put out to pasture by his ex.

[Anonymous]

If you want a relationship at that age/stage, you just have to keep putting yourself out there.

I decided to divorce within a few years of relocating to a new region. We'd moved somewhere for my ex's job and literally knew no one there when we moved--no family, support network, etc. So at that time I still had little community, and most of it stemmed from the kids. That's not a wise or great dating pool. I also knew almost no divorced people.

I did strike up new hobbies, became very active at the gym, volunteered. It was great, but not for meeting potential dates. Also, I work full-time and have two kids.

All to say--my only real choice was online dating. I had such low expectations and heard such horror stories. Ultimately it was far better than I would have guessed. It can take patience and yes, you'll see some crap, but just hang in there. Keep at it. Be systematic and routine. Be open to people you might have ruled out earlier in your life because of something like height.

I'm now remarried and happier than I ever thought possible. Never would have considered this guy in my 20s. We are great partners now in our 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“A well put together 50 year old man can get a 35 year old easily. I'm sure you are a nice person but you aren't in demand in that demographic. You will have to find an older partner or decide you are ok with casual relationships. That's just life. It ain't fair but it's real.”

There’s a cover for every pot, but most 50 year old guys are looking for women their age who are able to support themselves, have similar interests, are at a similar place in life, and are not interested in having (more) kids.

Obviously written by a woman

I know. Right! I am a 50 yo and I have all of that with my 39yo girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you need to just focus on living your life and if it happens it happens.


That’s a prescription for growing old with cats. OP wants to be not single. Don’t tell her “no you want to enjoy being single” merely because you enjoy being single. Go do that. OP doesn’t want that.

Ok, what would you suggest she do? She's tried dating sites, she's tried asking friends to set her up, and to date, it hasn't worked. So she's putting herself out there. It'll either happen or it won't, worrying about it is not going to help. Being a happy, relaxed person who's good with where she is in life is going to make her a more attractive partner than being anxious and unhappy about being single.

Good question. Your last point first. Coming across as happy, unneedy, and undramatic is attractive. Being satisfied in life single is something else. Being aloof is not attractive. Personally I think being a little hungry for change is more productive than preferring to be alone. You know, alone rather than facing real, non-movie-character people. Like the woman in the other thread who can’t stomach time with Joe Schmoe.

What else, let’s see. If you’re fat, fix that. If you’re trying hard to look like a grandmother, stop doing that. If you’re too busy to say yes if a guy asks you out on a weeknight, fix that. If you’re refusing to have sex until the next total eclipse, change that.

[Anonymous]

Who are all these 35 year old women gagging to go out with men in their 50s? I just turned 40, and am happily married, but there's no way I or my younger friends would be looking at the 50+ crowd. Maybe the women who can't get men closer to their own age, but then they don't seem like such great catches...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these 35 year old women gagging to go out with men in their 50s? I just turned 40, and am happily married, but there's no way I or my younger friends would be looking at the 50+ crowd. Maybe the women who can't get men closer to their own age, but then they don't seem like such great catches...

For most of them it's a brief sugar daddy thing, nothing more, nothing less. I have a 33 year old friend dating a 50 something guy who in six months has taken on at least three great trips. She knows its not going to be a LTR but she's having some fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these 35 year old women gagging to go out with men in their 50s? I just turned 40, and am happily married, but there's no way I or my younger friends would be looking at the 50+ crowd. Maybe the women who can't get men closer to their own age, but then they don't seem like such great catches...

I agree. My limit is about seven years older and even that feels a little old. When I was early 30s I didn't even want to date guys who were forty.

There are guys on this board who constantly try to convince women:
A) they need to sleep with men right away
And b) they need to date guys way older because guys around their age and a little
Older aren't interested.

I have zero friends who are willing to date guys fifteen years older or even ten years older.

[Anonymous]

I really cannot believe a reasonably attractive woman in her early 50's is having difficulties finding a relationship. Do you know how many divorced or widowed men in this age group would love to meet someone and have them be part of their life? OP, are you making yourself approachable, interesting, and fun to get to know? Friends always say friends are a great catch.

[Anonymous]

Live without expectations. Don’t set parameters on your life by telling yourself that something can only be enjoyed if it is a certain way. Allow life to surprise you. Keep an open mind and enjoy all of life’s treasures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these 35 year old women gagging to go out with men in their 50s? I just turned 40, and am happily married, but there's no way I or my younger friends would be looking at the 50+ crowd. Maybe the women who can't get men closer to their own age, but then they don't seem like such great catches...

Really? Women that want to stay at home obviously. The 50s are a man's highest earning years. Where can I sign up?