Starting to Think I'll Never Meet Anyone

[Anonymous]

Yes yes yes! Inner beauty and credentials are all well and good but often women delude themselves about what men want. If you aren't taking good care of your body -- your calling card for men -- no amount of strappy sandals or perfectly-tinted hair or botoxing will compensate. You can dress exclusively in Wal-mart brands if your body is banging, no matter your age. Women don't want to accept this but that is the case. In addition, for the Aziz Ansaris, Tiger Woods, and Johnny Depps of this world a gorgeous figure and face are the bare minimum. They don't even glance at the resume if you are not neck-breakingly stunning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

So, would you say a 45 year old single woman who doesn't have kids is going to have better odds dating wise than a divorced mom of the same age who has kids at home still? Would most men rather date a woman without kids - even if that man has kids of his own?

The guy wants the woman’s time. Her having obligations on her time who haven’t left home yet is not an attraction. Her career in not an attraction, neither are her degrees, and neither are her kids.

These are all BS stereotypes. If someone wants to date you, they will prioritize you. This doesn't mean that their kids are not taken care of and prioritized too.

My ex fed me this line one day . . . said that he didn't want to help raise my daughter. I walked away and each time that he was tried to contact me since, I have politely turned him down. It has taken such inner peace and calm to not give him a true peace of my mind. I would schedule lunchtime "hookups", went to a swingers club with him, and did all kinds of creative and fun activities while dating. I even had a "team XXX" jersey made to take to the "club" to let everyone know that I was his. Yep, I am fit, work out, and have a wonderful career but I also realize the important of bringing spontaneity to a relationship to keep it going.

He was too busy evaluating me from his narrow mindset to realize what he had. The hardest thing to do is to offer the same level of openness again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think it is unrealistic to expect that most people will find a great relationship match within 2 years of a divorce. Yes, it can happen. But think about how many years of dating it took you to find your first spouse. Why would you expect it to take less time now that you are older and the dating pool is smaller? Be patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

No, I was providing serious feedback to a serious proposal. Not looking for a woman with a sturdy back to work in the fields, looking for someone I can enjoy being naked with frequently. That’s the actual mindset of men on the market. But you must be a bitter cat lady for pretending otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

No, I was providing serious feedback to a serious proposal. Not looking for a woman with a sturdy back to work in the fields, looking for someone I can enjoy being naked with frequently. That’s the actual mindset of men on the market. But you must be a bitter cat lady for pretending otherwise.

Interesting, my comment upthread is who I am. I gotta find something to do with that custom football jersey now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

This is exactly what I was saying. Women don't want to hear what men really want in a relationship because it is too depressing. They care about looks even when they're 102. Personality, education, drive, decency are all appreciated but the right package is non-negotiable for many men.

[Anonymous]

They care about looks even when they're 102. Personality, education, drive, decency are all appreciated but the right package is non-negotiable for many men.

Personality matters. Decency: As opposed to what, someone who robs liquor stores? Oh you mean sex. Libido is good. Education: there is no shortage of articulate, informed women in this area. Drive: sounds like something which like education is of interest to an employer. Right package: no, a good enough package.

[Anonymous]

By package I meant the body encasing the wonderful qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

No, I was providing serious feedback to a serious proposal. Not looking for a woman with a sturdy back to work in the fields, looking for someone I can enjoy being naked with frequently. That’s the actual mindset of men on the market. But you must be a bitter cat lady for pretending otherwise.

Interesting, my comment upthread is who I am. I gotta find something to do with that custom football jersey now

When are you going to comment. Men love to throw out that bitter cat lady comment. It's the ultimate in misogynististic, sexist comment.

[Anonymous]

When are you going to comment. Men love to throw out that bitter cat lady comment. It's the ultimate in misogynististic, sexist comment.

After being accused of spewing venom, no it’s not misogynistic, it’s an assumption that you in venue are bitter and lonely. If you’re going to pretend to be offended by being called names, don’t start it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

When are you going to comment. Men love to throw out that bitter cat lady comment. It's the ultimate in misogynististic, sexist comment.

After being accused of spewing venom, no it’s not misogynistic, it’s an assumption that you in venue are bitter and lonely. If you’re going to pretend to be offended by being called names, don’t start it.

You are completely missing the point of my post. That's OK, my ex completely missed the value of my intentions too. How can you call me a bitter, lonely cat when I just posted that I made a special jersey to wear at a swingers club for my ex. Yep, I do feed the local feral cats, I did so in my little maid's costume in front of my ex . . . asked him if he wanted to "do the local cat lady."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest problem is that OP has teens at home. Which man would want to deal with that?

How about a man with a demanding job and kids of his own that would like to meet a quality woman?

“Quality woman”? How about a cute one who likes sex.

Kill it with this BS. You must be one of those guys in a sexless marriage or relationship spewing venom on each thread about what a man wants. Just stop and confront the issues in your relationship.

This is exactly what I was saying. Women don't want to hear what men really want in a relationship because it is too depressing. They care about looks even when they're 102. Personality, education, drive, decency are all appreciated but the right package is non-negotiable for many men.

Let's not pretend women don't care about looks, and don't have other "non-negotiable" requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly what I was saying. Women don't want to hear what men really want in a relationship because it is too depressing. They care about looks even when they're 102. Personality, education, drive, decency are all appreciated but the right package is non-negotiable for many men.

Let's say we have a man who has personality, education, drive, decency...

But he's fat. Or short. Or short and fat.

How many women are going to say yes to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is exactly what I was saying. Women don't want to hear what men really want in a relationship because it is too depressing. They care about looks even when they're 102. Personality, education, drive, decency are all appreciated but the right package is non-negotiable for many men.

Let's say we have a man who has personality, education, drive, decency...

But he's fat. Or short. Or short and fat.

How many women are going to say yes to him?

Depends on the demographic. As an older woman, a man's health is so important. For a man that is out of shape, I wonder if he is healthy enough for repeated sexual activity and whether he would enjoy getting out and doing things. The importance of these qualities change with age.