Dating At 33 For Women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

This is the reason my ex-boyfriend broke it often. He was certain he wanted to have children, and my uncertainty lead him to reconsider marrying me. I’m thinking of doing online dating and putting it on my profile that I don’t want kids. Maybe it will attract men who are unsure themselves or decided they don’t want children. I know my pool is limited because I am almost 50% positive I don’t want children. If I did, maybe not until 38+.

Good for you OP. I think men don't realize how much having children sets a woman back in life. I'm childfree and am staying that way. You sound like a great catch for a man who's already established and doesn't want kids.

[Anonymous]

So you thought you could have it all. Your ex probably broke it off because of your work. Take a hint and re-prioritize your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Career ender?! Lady, you need to step back from your job a bit and get perspective.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you don't want kids there is no reason to get married. It sounds like you have a fulfilling career. With the little spare time you have, hang out with family and friends, and find someone to have sex with. But I would never get married under these circumstances. Chances are the husband will negatively impact your career the same way kids would. And, btw, I am married with two kids and a career. But I was 100% sure I wanted kids when I got married.

[Anonymous]

I divorced at 34 and didn’t have, and don’t want, kids. I had zero trouble whatsoever finding dates and eventually the man who would become my awesome DH—but, while I have a great job, I work 40 hours a week (only occasionally more), have interesting and fun hobbies (where I meet a lot of people, hint hint), and know how to relax and have fun.

I would not have considered dating someone who was so very job-centric with no other interests or down time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Career ender?! Lady, you need to step back from your job a bit and get perspective.

There's nothing wrong with her perspective. Having kids really sucks for work-minded women. Havent you read those threads on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I divorced at 34 and didn’t have, and don’t want, kids. I had zero trouble whatsoever finding dates and eventually the man who would become my awesome DH—but, while I have a great job, I work 40 hours a week (only occasionally more), have interesting and fun hobbies (where I meet a lot of people, hint hint), and know how to relax and have fun.

I would not have considered dating someone who was so very job-centric with no other interests or down time.

Op here. I want to get married. I might have kids later on but I’m too unsure to yes. I do have plenty of hobbies outside of work. I love to workout, go out for drinks, go to baseball games, travel, try new restaurants, etc. Wanting to one day become a doctor requires crazy residency hours, which leaves little time for other things. That’s the career I chose, but it won’t always be these crazy hours. If you met a resident doctor, you wouldn’t date him because of he works too much?

[Anonymous]

Focus on your career. Kids suck the life out of you. No reason to not live Childress. Don’t listen to the women who will make you feeel bad for not using your ovaries to produce children. They are not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

No one works 80 hours a week and keeps a relationship.

No one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I divorced at 34 and didn’t have, and don’t want, kids. I had zero trouble whatsoever finding dates and eventually the man who would become my awesome DH—but, while I have a great job, I work 40 hours a week (only occasionally more), have interesting and fun hobbies (where I meet a lot of people, hint hint), and know how to relax and have fun.

I would not have considered dating someone who was so very job-centric with no other interests or down time.

Op here. I want to get married. I might have kids later on but I’m too unsure to yes. I do have plenty of hobbies outside of work. I love to workout, go out for drinks, go to baseball games, travel, try new restaurants, etc. Wanting to one day become a doctor requires crazy residency hours, which leaves little time for other things. That’s the career I chose, but it won’t always be these crazy hours. If you met a resident doctor, you wouldn’t date him because of he works too much?

Most women doctors I know practice for a few years, get married, get pregnant and say adios to practicing for good or for a long stretch. Most, but not all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Basically the OP as well but I'm 32. I also work long hours however I also have a 7-figure income level, more than worth the trade off.

My answer to this -

- I like my lifestyle - traveling when I want, staying in the best resorts, enjoying splurges
- I hate mess, my penthouse looks like a magazine cover
- I'm mostly an introvert and can't imagine being around someone or several someones with no 'down' time
- I have no interest in moving to the suburbs or a suburban area where the best schools are
- I like having a serious amount of disposable income and 529s, daycare, college tuition, and general kid care would not be amenable to that
- I enjoy sleep

The last one is really important. I didn't come to this conclusion without actually doing some research. I had one of my girlfriend's stay over with her 8-month old for 5 days and 5 nights. During that time the kid would not sleep unless he was moving, she had to either be walking him, pacing with him, driving, or put him in a stroller and hoofing it. If he wasn't crying about sleep or fussing for attention, it was nursing. Sure that's only 12 months roughly of day-and-night attention but its not like toddlers are any easier. Or tweens are better once they can run around the house or teens don't have attitudes.

I like my life. I don't want to mess it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Basically the OP as well but I'm 32. I also work long hours however I also have a 7-figure income level, more than worth the trade off.

My answer to this -

- I like my lifestyle - traveling when I want, staying in the best resorts, enjoying splurges
- I hate mess, my penthouse looks like a magazine cover
- I'm mostly an introvert and can't imagine being around someone or several someones with no 'down' time
- I have no interest in moving to the suburbs or a suburban area where the best schools are
- I like having a serious amount of disposable income and 529s, daycare, college tuition, and general kid care would not be amenable to that
- I enjoy sleep

The last one is really important. I didn't come to this conclusion without actually doing some research. I had one of my girlfriend's stay over with her 8-month old for 5 days and 5 nights. During that time the kid would not sleep unless he was moving, she had to either be walking him, pacing with him, driving, or put him in a stroller and hoofing it. If he wasn't crying about sleep or fussing for attention, it was nursing. Sure that's only 12 months roughly of day-and-night attention but its not like toddlers are any easier. Or tweens are better once they can run around the house or teens don't have attitudes.

I like my life. I don't want to mess it up.

what is your line of work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I want to get married. I might have kids later on but I’m too unsure to yes.

You better make up your mind PDQ, because your fertility is about to fall off a cliff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

She can't be bothered to find time to pay attention to a man, and children are much more demanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 33 and recently ended a 1.5 year relationship. He broke it off. I am a currently work 80+ hours a week. I am a little terrified I will end up 40 and still single. How do I look for a husband while working 80+ hours a week? My ex-boyfriend is a colleague, and majority of the people I work with are already married or have major deal breakers. My biggest caveat is I still undecided if I want children.

Well you better figure that out. I wouldn’t date someone that was 33 and still wasn’t sure if they wanted to have kids or not.