Passive-aggression on the west coast vs outright "aggression" on the east coast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the midwest, been east coast most of my life, spent plenty of time with family and friends on the west coast.

I have no idea what you people are talking about and think some people get their needs met by stirring a bitter pot

Maybe try something else. Netflix is a relatively cheap fix.

So you've never lived on the west coast then? And you hail from neither one of the coasts discussed?

Right.

Could have just ended it there.

[Anonymous]

Suspect this thread is made of up of very angry trolls, for the most part.

[Anonymous]

From what I've heard many parts of the west coast were settled by Scandinavians, which have a much more mealy mouther, unfriendly, keep to yourself type of culture. Meanwhile the east coast was settled by the Scottish, Irish, italians, etc- culturally much more friendly. It's a cultural difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East coaster that worked on the west coast for a min.
It made me so much more aggressive and confrontational. I literally wanted to punch everyone in the face.
But yoga also makes me angry.
So...yeah.

This is what I'm worried about. I recently moved to the Pacific NW and, while i've lived in LA also, people here seem to be be west coast passive aggression x10. Everyone just seems so... easily offended and downright crazy to me. Like something that would be NBD on the east coast becomes a huge deal here. I have a friend who lives in Seattle and she was telling me how, if her cart happens to be in the way of how someone is walking (as in, not blocking the aisle, just on her side of the aisle that they are walking through) instead of going around, they will stop and literally stare at her, like glaring at her, waiting for her to move for them. Having been here, I can totally imagine that. It's a very weird set of social codes that, to me, seems to be built on a bedrock of wanting to feel angry/aggrieved. And... it's working on me! I feel annoyed and upset every time I leave my apartment, which is not a problem I've ever had before. And, of course, I'm a very upfront person, so my instinct is to address it, but any Pacific NWer that I have seen have someone ask about their passive aggression... just denies that this kind of environment exists. It's just "I think everyone is super pleasant"- so you are made out to be crazy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to rant. But it worries me because I can feel it make me more of a miserable, confrontational person because of the constant passive aggression over things that are truly so irrelevant and minor. And I worry that I made a huge mistake moving here.

...or you could try to be less clueless and move your cart over so people can pass. East coasters are rude and entitled. If you start treating other people like humans with feelings too, you might be surprised at the responses you get.

Where are aisles so small or shops are that crowded that's this is an issue? Coastal southwest here. Overpopulation here, but no cart problems (yet, I guess). You can't share down people on the roads, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

i'm from the rockies, and always have felt more kinship with the west coast than the east coast. I think we're more direct than people on the east coast. Or maybe what I mean is more open and friendly, which I consider also more direct. Fewer games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East coaster that worked on the west coast for a min.
It made me so much more aggressive and confrontational. I literally wanted to punch everyone in the face.
But yoga also makes me angry.
So...yeah.

This is what I'm worried about. I recently moved to the Pacific NW and, while i've lived in LA also, people here seem to be be west coast passive aggression x10. Everyone just seems so... easily offended and downright crazy to me. Like something that would be NBD on the east coast becomes a huge deal here. I have a friend who lives in Seattle and she was telling me how, if her cart happens to be in the way of how someone is walking (as in, not blocking the aisle, just on her side of the aisle that they are walking through) instead of going around, they will stop and literally stare at her, like glaring at her, waiting for her to move for them. Having been here, I can totally imagine that. It's a very weird set of social codes that, to me, seems to be built on a bedrock of wanting to feel angry/aggrieved. And... it's working on me! I feel annoyed and upset every time I leave my apartment, which is not a problem I've ever had before. And, of course, I'm a very upfront person, so my instinct is to address it, but any Pacific NWer that I have seen have someone ask about their passive aggression... just denies that this kind of environment exists. It's just "I think everyone is super pleasant"- so you are made out to be crazy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to rant. But it worries me because I can feel it make me more of a miserable, confrontational person because of the constant passive aggression over things that are truly so irrelevant and minor. And I worry that I made a huge mistake moving here.

At first I was going to say your friend was lying as I cannot imagine any actual person standing in the middle of the aisle staring at another person instead of walking around.

And then the west coaster chimed in saying your friend was the rude one, proving that I guess that actually is considered normal behavior for some.

All I can say is wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East coaster that worked on the west coast for a min.
It made me so much more aggressive and confrontational. I literally wanted to punch everyone in the face.
But yoga also makes me angry.
So...yeah.

This is what I'm worried about. I recently moved to the Pacific NW and, while i've lived in LA also, people here seem to be be west coast passive aggression x10. Everyone just seems so... easily offended and downright crazy to me. Like something that would be NBD on the east coast becomes a huge deal here. I have a friend who lives in Seattle and she was telling me how, if her cart happens to be in the way of how someone is walking (as in, not blocking the aisle, just on her side of the aisle that they are walking through) instead of going around, they will stop and literally stare at her, like glaring at her, waiting for her to move for them. Having been here, I can totally imagine that. It's a very weird set of social codes that, to me, seems to be built on a bedrock of wanting to feel angry/aggrieved. And... it's working on me! I feel annoyed and upset every time I leave my apartment, which is not a problem I've ever had before. And, of course, I'm a very upfront person, so my instinct is to address it, but any Pacific NWer that I have seen have someone ask about their passive aggression... just denies that this kind of environment exists. It's just "I think everyone is super pleasant"- so you are made out to be crazy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to rant. But it worries me because I can feel it make me more of a miserable, confrontational person because of the constant passive aggression over things that are truly so irrelevant and minor. And I worry that I made a huge mistake moving here.

At first I was going to say your friend was lying as I cannot imagine any actual person standing in the middle of the aisle staring at another person instead of walking around.

And then the west coaster chimed in saying your friend was the rude one, proving that I guess that actually is considered normal behavior for some.

All I can say is wow.

+1

The other poster was crazy, as is anyone who doesn't just walk around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a native east coaster, how did you cope with the more "passive" style that people on the west coast deal with issues? I've seen a lot of talk about this on the internet and with other east coasters I encountered, but still have to find a way to really deal with it?

If you are from the west coast, I would also be interested in hearing your perspective on moving to the east coast, if you enjoyed or disliked the more "upfront" way of speaking that is common.

I'm a DC native and lived in California. I found the California attitude pretty annoying, actually - people are very chilly there. I don't think people have to be rude the way east coasters are, but I value forthrightness. I lived in Texas prior to living in California and find their style of communication superior: simple and direct.

[Anonymous]

Portland and Seattle are the worst IMHO. Filled with confused people: uber liberal (which should mean chill and accepting) yet hypersensitive and lacking a great deal of self-awareness despite the constant navel gazing. And I'm an east coast liberal, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Foreigner here.
I've lived on three continents, and spent time on both east and west American coasts. Compared to other placed in this world, they're alike as two peas.

Please try to be more adaptable and flexible.
It's not good for your health to be constantly irritated. The world is getting smaller, your kids might be working in Singapore or Switzerland, so don't pass on your prejudices to them.

East coaster from up thread.
Please take your sanctimony and shove it up your a$$.
Should be easy since you're so fleixible.


* I added a please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:East coaster that worked on the west coast for a min.
It made me so much more aggressive and confrontational. I literally wanted to punch everyone in the face.
But yoga also makes me angry.
So...yeah.

This is what I'm worried about. I recently moved to the Pacific NW and, while i've lived in LA also, people here seem to be be west coast passive aggression x10. Everyone just seems so... easily offended and downright crazy to me. Like something that would be NBD on the east coast becomes a huge deal here. I have a friend who lives in Seattle and she was telling me how, if her cart happens to be in the way of how someone is walking (as in, not blocking the aisle, just on her side of the aisle that they are walking through) instead of going around, they will stop and literally stare at her, like glaring at her, waiting for her to move for them. Having been here, I can totally imagine that. It's a very weird set of social codes that, to me, seems to be built on a bedrock of wanting to feel angry/aggrieved. And... it's working on me! I feel annoyed and upset every time I leave my apartment, which is not a problem I've ever had before. And, of course, I'm a very upfront person, so my instinct is to address it, but any Pacific NWer that I have seen have someone ask about their passive aggression... just denies that this kind of environment exists. It's just "I think everyone is super pleasant"- so you are made out to be crazy.

Sorry, I didn't mean to rant. But it worries me because I can feel it make me more of a miserable, confrontational person because of the constant passive aggression over things that are truly so irrelevant and minor. And I worry that I made a huge mistake moving here.

At first I was going to say your friend was lying as I cannot imagine any actual person standing in the middle of the aisle staring at another person instead of walking around.

And then the west coaster chimed in saying your friend was the rude one, proving that I guess that actually is considered normal behavior for some.

All I can say is wow.

This is so funny. I'm giggling. It must be a "cultural cart difference." I'm near San Francisco and if my cart were in the way and I got that look, I'd apologize and move it because it would be considered rude. Most stores have small aisles and tiny carts, so when space is tight it's important to be aware of where you are and how you're impacting those around you. I'd just say excuse me and thank them for moving rather than staring, but if you're in my way, you should move. Even when you go to a more spacious store with wide aisles, most of us are used to following the norms of shopping in small stores, because they're more common.

Another thing I noticed on a grocery store vent thread on dcum is that when we check out here (not sure if it's the entire west coast or just the Bay Area), we put the divider bar on the belt after we put up our groceries. Almost everyone does it. Not sure if it's expected to the point that I'd call it a cultural norm, but it's really common. I saw a thread once complaining that someone expected them to put the divider down after their items were loaded onto the belt and everyone chimed in that the person behind them was entitled. Maybe they were from the west coast

That said, there are rude assholes all across our great land, and I'm not sure which coast has the most. They're probably equally bad in their own ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Portland and Seattle are the worst IMHO. Filled with confused people: uber liberal (which should mean chill and accepting) yet hypersensitive and lacking a great deal of self-awareness despite the constant navel gazing. And I'm an east coast liberal, fwiw.

Ugh, same here. Lived in Portland for a few years and just couldn't take it anymore. NW natives are so unbelievably passive aggressive, I'm surprised I have any molars left from all the teeth grinding I did. Add in the heaping helpings of self importance and self righteousness they are all filled with and there goes my blood pressure.

So glad to be back here where people will just tell you to f*ck off and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

So weird I grew up in the DC-Boston corridor so about as 'east coast' as you get. For sure we are more aggressive here but I think of the west coast as super relaxed and chill. They aren't mad! If anything I get irritated that they won't move faster or get along with it and so I don't like being around them but its not them being passive aggressive, just moving at a different pace.

Passive aggressive is the SOUTH not the west.

[Anonymous]

As a native east coaster, I find it really difficult that west coasters do not get sarcasm. At. all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So weird I grew up in the DC-Boston corridor so about as 'east coast' as you get. For sure we are more aggressive here but I think of the west coast as super relaxed and chill. They aren't mad! If anything I get irritated that they won't move faster or get along with it and so I don't like being around them but its not them being passive aggressive, just moving at a different pace.

Passive aggressive is the SOUTH not the west.

So true. I posted about the cart differences and even with that, I don't find the west coast to be overly passive aggressive. Maybe because I grew up in the south and I'm fluent in passive-aggressiveness. I like being here because I don't have to deal with it like I did in the south.