Passive-aggression on the west coast vs outright "aggression" on the east coast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another perspective from someone who has lived East Coast, PNW, & the South.

If I'm at the grocery store, and your cart is blocking me, I might just stand there. I'm not pissed at you, I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm just letting you finish deciding which pasta sauce you want before moving on. I'm not in a rush. Sorry if my RBF makes you read so much into nothing.

Ain't nobody round here pressed by yo' restin' biotch face. Now, you wanna roll your eyes, and start muttering under your breath... we can have words right now.

Exactly. It amazes me how people on the west coast think we care about a glance. We don't. If you've got something to communicate with me, you can be a big kid and use your words. If not, glare away- IDGAF.

OP obviously cares about a glare, since she bothered to relay the whole story. Stop assuming that the looks on other people's faces have anything to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another perspective from someone who has lived East Coast, PNW, & the South.

If I'm at the grocery store, and your cart is blocking me, I might just stand there. I'm not pissed at you, I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm just letting you finish deciding which pasta sauce you want before moving on. I'm not in a rush. Sorry if my RBF makes you read so much into nothing.

Ain't nobody round here pressed by yo' restin' biotch face. Now, you wanna roll your eyes, and start muttering under your breath... we can have words right now.

Exactly. It amazes me how people on the west coast think we care about a glance. We don't. If you've got something to communicate with me, you can be a big kid and use your words. If not, glare away- IDGAF.

Did you even read the post?

...Yes. Are you confused?

No.

OP related a story about someone who was standing still and "obviously glaring" which she interpreted as passive aggressive.

I gave a different perspective--that she may have over-interpreted the look on the person's face.

Yes, and people are responding to your post, that you thought a simple stare would elicit such a reaction. Do you understand now? Comprende?

Um... OP said the stare DID elicit a reaction. Are we reading the same post?

She was talking about a glare... which is different? Is English not your first language?

You do understand that some people have RBF? They are not actually glaring. They may feel entirely neutral, or even positive. Or maybe they're pissed that the store is out of something they need and they're making a face unrelated to you but just happen to be standing in your general vicinity, maybe even looking in your direction, but not necessarily at you. Interpreting the look on the face of someone you don't know and getting upset by it is the issue.

Oh my God. This is insane. You have managed to turn a post about someone's friend's experiences, and a follow up discussion, into an inquisition into your own facial tics. Lady, no one cares you have RBF!! That's the whole point of this! There is also a very big difference between a purposeful glare, which involves sustained eye contact, and RBF. If you are used to people reacting negatively towards you, then you need to realize you might indeed be glaring and you need to work on your social skills. But make your own thread- nobody cares here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another perspective from someone who has lived East Coast, PNW, & the South.

If I'm at the grocery store, and your cart is blocking me, I might just stand there. I'm not pissed at you, I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm just letting you finish deciding which pasta sauce you want before moving on. I'm not in a rush. Sorry if my RBF makes you read so much into nothing.

Ain't nobody round here pressed by yo' restin' biotch face. Now, you wanna roll your eyes, and start muttering under your breath... we can have words right now.

Exactly. It amazes me how people on the west coast think we care about a glance. We don't. If you've got something to communicate with me, you can be a big kid and use your words. If not, glare away- IDGAF.

Did you even read the post?

...Yes. Are you confused?

No.

OP related a story about someone who was standing still and "obviously glaring" which she interpreted as passive aggressive.

I gave a different perspective--that she may have over-interpreted the look on the person's face.

Yes, and people are responding to your post, that you thought a simple stare would elicit such a reaction. Do you understand now? Comprende?

Um... OP said the stare DID elicit a reaction. Are we reading the same post?

She was talking about a glare... which is different? Is English not your first language?

You do understand that some people have RBF? They are not actually glaring. They may feel entirely neutral, or even positive. Or maybe they're pissed that the store is out of something they need and they're making a face unrelated to you but just happen to be standing in your general vicinity, maybe even looking in your direction, but not necessarily at you. Interpreting the look on the face of someone you don't know and getting upset by it is the issue.

Oh my God. This is insane. You have managed to turn a post about someone's friend's experiences, and a follow up discussion, into an inquisition into your own facial tics. Lady, no one cares you have RBF!! That's the whole point of this! There is also a very big difference between a purposeful glare, which involves sustained eye contact, and RBF. If you are used to people reacting negatively towards you, then you need to realize you might indeed be glaring and you need to work on your social skills. But make your own thread- nobody cares here!

[Anonymous]

^ugh. My computer messed up and sent this twice

[Anonymous]

I'm a native DC'er, and I did just fine in SF for several years, loved it in fact. I'm not the most aggressive person, but I do consider myself to be straightforward. Then I lived in Portland for a short time, and I felt like I moved to bizarro world. Full of smiles and hidden social cues that I could not figure out. I moved back to DC after I married. My now xh (a Portland native) and his family are easily the most passive aggressive people I have every encountered in my life. While there were many other issues that led to the demise of our marriage, his passive aggressiveness was off the charts and absolutely made me feel like I was losing my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another perspective from someone who has lived East Coast, PNW, & the South.

If I'm at the grocery store, and your cart is blocking me, I might just stand there. I'm not pissed at you, I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm just letting you finish deciding which pasta sauce you want before moving on. I'm not in a rush. Sorry if my RBF makes you read so much into nothing.

Ain't nobody round here pressed by yo' restin' biotch face. Now, you wanna roll your eyes, and start muttering under your breath... we can have words right now.

Exactly. It amazes me how people on the west coast think we care about a glance. We don't. If you've got something to communicate with me, you can be a big kid and use your words. If not, glare away- IDGAF.

Did you even read the post?

...Yes. Are you confused?

No.

OP related a story about someone who was standing still and "obviously glaring" which she interpreted as passive aggressive.

I gave a different perspective--that she may have over-interpreted the look on the person's face.

Yes, and people are responding to your post, that you thought a simple stare would elicit such a reaction. Do you understand now? Comprende?

Um... OP said the stare DID elicit a reaction. Are we reading the same post?

She was talking about a glare... which is different? Is English not your first language?

You do understand that some people have RBF? They are not actually glaring. They may feel entirely neutral, or even positive. Or maybe they're pissed that the store is out of something they need and they're making a face unrelated to you but just happen to be standing in your general vicinity, maybe even looking in your direction, but not necessarily at you. Interpreting the look on the face of someone you don't know and getting upset by it is the issue.

Oh my God. This is insane. You have managed to turn a post about someone's friend's experiences, and a follow up discussion, into an inquisition into your own facial tics. Lady, no one cares you have RBF!! That's the whole point of this! There is also a very big difference between a purposeful glare, which involves sustained eye contact, and RBF. If you are used to people reacting negatively towards you, then you need to realize you might indeed be glaring and you need to work on your social skills. But make your own thread- nobody cares here!

Nope. I was simply letting OP in on another perspective. YOU are the one who somehow doesn't see how my anecdote is relevant to OP's story, and keep on making it about me for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another perspective from someone who has lived East Coast, PNW, & the South.

If I'm at the grocery store, and your cart is blocking me, I might just stand there. I'm not pissed at you, I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm just letting you finish deciding which pasta sauce you want before moving on. I'm not in a rush. Sorry if my RBF makes you read so much into nothing.

Ain't nobody round here pressed by yo' restin' biotch face. Now, you wanna roll your eyes, and start muttering under your breath... we can have words right now.

Exactly. It amazes me how people on the west coast think we care about a glance. We don't. If you've got something to communicate with me, you can be a big kid and use your words. If not, glare away- IDGAF.

Did you even read the post?

...Yes. Are you confused?

No.

OP related a story about someone who was standing still and "obviously glaring" which she interpreted as passive aggressive.

I gave a different perspective--that she may have over-interpreted the look on the person's face.

Yes, and people are responding to your post, that you thought a simple stare would elicit such a reaction. Do you understand now? Comprende?

Um... OP said the stare DID elicit a reaction. Are we reading the same post?

She was talking about a glare... which is different? Is English not your first language?

You do understand that some people have RBF? They are not actually glaring. They may feel entirely neutral, or even positive. Or maybe they're pissed that the store is out of something they need and they're making a face unrelated to you but just happen to be standing in your general vicinity, maybe even looking in your direction, but not necessarily at you. Interpreting the look on the face of someone you don't know and getting upset by it is the issue.

Oh my God. This is insane. You have managed to turn a post about someone's friend's experiences, and a follow up discussion, into an inquisition into your own facial tics. Lady, no one cares you have RBF!! That's the whole point of this! There is also a very big difference between a purposeful glare, which involves sustained eye contact, and RBF. If you are used to people reacting negatively towards you, then you need to realize you might indeed be glaring and you need to work on your social skills. But make your own thread- nobody cares here!

Nope. I was simply letting OP in on another perspective. YOU are the one who somehow doesn't see how my anecdote is relevant to OP's story, and keep on making it about me for some reason.

Yep. It was irrelevant. Your fixation on your own (inane) hypothetical which differs vastly from what the OP described is really very strange. Not to mention, I was actually responding to someone else, NOT to you, and yet you've chosen to hound me for several replies. It's more than a RBF, dear.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some people on DCUM are unhinged.

Lady, the anecdote was entirely relevant (as ours mentioned). Move on.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the D.C. area and lived in the Bay Area for 10 years.

The first year or so I did think the west coast culture was weird. Then I realized I was the one who needed to unclench. I am back on the east coast now and people make their lives so much harder here than they need to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some people on DCUM are unhinged.

Lady, the anecdote was entirely relevant (as ours mentioned). Move on.

Take a look in the mirror. And next time, try replying to the person who actually was speaking to you. Oh, and make your abstract hypotheticals at least SOMEWHAT relevant. TIA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! I am so glad I read this thread. Seattle has always been one of my dream locations. I live the Northwest. Those elitist hipsters would drive me fucking nuts. I'd probably tell the woman on the bike to shove the bell up her ass.

Thank you. The people coming into this thread who live in the Northwest and being like "I don't think it's unreasonable to get angry for someone for not moving out of my way" are just the cherry on the top that proves that people are genuinely like this, it's not an exaggeration. Can you even imagine?

+1

[Anonymous]

I think one of the worst parts of the PNW and the entire west coast is the passive aggressive driving. Having people tailgate you for literally no reason. It's like they want YOU to move into the passing lane... so they can pass! The self-centeredness is mind boggling

[Anonymous]

West coast cart mover/grocery belt divider placer here (now in DC for a decade). I can deal with the general lack of looking out for others here on the east coast, but I just really miss getting a thank you wave when I let someone in in traffic - it's so pleasant to help someone else out and get a quick acknowledgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst parts of the PNW and the entire west coast is the passive aggressive driving. Having people tailgate you for literally no reason. It's like they want YOU to move into the passing lane... so they can pass! The self-centeredness is mind boggling

Yes! It's insane. It makes me miss NoVa drivers, and that's saying something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the worst parts of the PNW and the entire west coast is the passive aggressive driving. Having people tailgate you for literally no reason. It's like they want YOU to move into the passing lane... so they can pass! The self-centeredness is mind boggling

Yes! It's insane. It makes me miss NoVa drivers, and that's saying something

OMG IT'S NOT JUST ME! My husband thinks I'm nuts for hating the drivers in Oregon. I never knew a thing like passive aggressive road rage existed until we lived in Portland for a year.