To non-white parents with kids at mostly white schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

Most of the kids on my kid's soccer team are halfsies (mine included).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

Yea, I'd like to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

This post just made me reconsider (a black woman) moving to a W school cluster or Olney with my kids. Thanks for this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, I don't care what color my kid's friends are. But I do want them to have regular exposure to kids and people of all races, not just family.

What does your social circle look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

This post just made me reconsider (a black woman) moving to a W school cluster or Olney with my kids. Thanks for this!

Really?!? You think that n diverse schools they don't make racist comments, discriminate, and marginalize.... I attended both virtually all white schools and the complete opposite and by far the most despicable comments/incidents were in the more "diverse" school. The aforementioned only holds if you think it's okay or more comfortable for minorities to say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

This post just made me reconsider (a black woman) moving to a W school cluster or Olney with my kids. Thanks for this!

Really?!? You think that n diverse schools they don't make racist comments, discriminate, and marginalize.... I attended both virtually all white schools and the complete opposite and by far the most despicable comments/incidents were in the more "diverse" school. The aforementioned only holds if you think it's okay or more comfortable for minorities to say it.

What do you mean by the complete opposite of all white schools? Your comment suggests that neither school was actually diverse - meaning a good mixture of races, ethnicities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, I don't care what color my kid's friends are. But I do want them to have regular exposure to kids and people of all races, not just family.

What does your social circle look like?

A good mix. But we don't see them every day.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP. I went to a lily white school and was one of maybe 5 non-white kids there. It was tough but I found good friends in HS (who were white) and I figure everyone faces challenges growing up.

I went to one of the most diverse colleges in the country. Not my rating, it's been ranked as such and prides itself on its diversity. I found that it was intensely more segregated than anywhere I have ever been. People got into their groups and stayed there. And trust me, there was plenty of racial animosity.

My kids are biracial and I recognize that it can be an issue.

OP, your issue is more about socioeconomic status in that area. Pretty sure you don't end up with many lower income families there!

My kids have various friends, and many of them are biracial.

This is a diverse area and it's not that hard to come across relationships with people of different races at all.

If your kid is meeting people outside of the school, then school will not be the only peer group.

If you dislike the idea of sending your biracial kid to a white school, then you can address that.

[Anonymous]

As a bi-racial person in my 40s, they've gotta get used to it because it will be like this throughout the rest of their lives.

So don't worry so much. Think of it as life skills training, along with the great academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have bi-racial kids and are zoned for Bannockburn/Westland/Whitman. These are all great schools, and I'm glad to have access to them, but I'm concerned about the lack of diversity. For those of you with non-white kids at these or similar schools, how do you compensate? We have friends of all races and socioeconomic backgrounds that we see periodically (most who have kids and live in DC where we used to live or further out), but it seems like school is where kids form their core peer group and it's obviously where they spend most of their time.

Many thanks!

Are your kids adopted? I only ask, because if you are an interracial couple, I would think that you would have access to the community, family, friends, etc of the non-white partner.
You don't specify what the two races are of the biracial kids. But, you could sign up for soccer, scouts, the YMCA in an area that would have more of the diversity you seek - Takoma Park, Silver Spring, Rockville, DC, etc.

I'd like more exposure than just family. And as I said, we have a diverse group of friends, but I'm wondering if that's enough given that children's core peer groups are usually in school with them.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. We are black, and DD attends a very diverse school (race, nationality, SES). She has a diverse group of friends at school, but spends most of her time out of school with kids involved in her chosen extracurricular activity. That is a somewhat diverse group, but definitely more white than her school friends.
Having said that, I grew up as often the only black girl in many situations. I had a lot of friends, but there were many times that I felt isolated. Those friends, and often their parents or siblings, would make ignorant and/or racist comments to me, thinking they were funny. One friend wasn't allowed to come to my house. My first two boyfriends couldn't tell their racist fathers about me. I did not share most of these things with my parents. I just endured them. But, my experiences growing up are a major reason why we chose a diverse area to raise out daughter.

This post just made me reconsider (a black woman) moving to a W school cluster or Olney with my kids. Thanks for this!

Really?!? You think that n diverse schools they don't make racist comments, discriminate, and marginalize.... I attended both virtually all white schools and the complete opposite and by far the most despicable comments/incidents were in the more "diverse" school. The aforementioned only holds if you think it's okay or more comfortable for minorities to say it.

What do you mean by the complete opposite of all white schools? Your comment suggests that neither school was actually diverse - meaning a good mixture of races, ethnicities, etc.

No actually I've been through the whole spectrum of schools. The other pp makes a good point that SES may play a factor but if you think it's all kumbaya on the other side of town you are in for a rude awakening. I wouldnt sacrifice a good academic peer group for a more diverse population if you are trying to escape racial animosity because it will meet you head on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a bi-racial person in my 40s, they've gotta get used to it because it will be like this throughout the rest of their lives.

So don't worry so much. Think of it as life skills training, along with the great academics.

It's been that way all along... Hispanics majority bi and triracial. AA a good percent are bi racial sense like forever. This is nothing new. We are just calling it by a different name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, I don't care what color my kid's friends are. But I do want them to have regular exposure to kids and people of all races, not just family.

What does your social circle look like?

A good mix. But we don't see them every day.

I wouldn't sweat it. You have a good healthy mix of friends and I'm sure there are people of color at your school.

[Anonymous]

I can see you worrying about ES, but by the time they hit Westland, and certainly BCC, they will not be the only POC.

Have you been to BCC? It's pretty diverse.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 16:10.

Looking for 'diverse' schools doesn't mean there will be no racial animosity. You fill find plenty.

Help your kids find kind, supportive friends (of any race) and don't worry about it.