Ill Sister Wants Me to Take Her Kids vs. My Newfound Freedom
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Anonymous
In foster care where they'll more likely than not be sexually assaulted and are at high risk of ending up homeless after they age out? They would not be better off with social services, going in the system at age 13. It sounds like, though, from OP's post, that there are other relatives who may be able to take the girls in, though it wouldn't be as ideal as OP. |
Anonymous
| Where's the father in all of this? |
Anonymous
| Well OP, scary you gotta ask. But you are not going tp do this for bitchy sister. You are going to do this for the children. Wake up and step up and alao melt your heart already. Just do it. |
Anonymous
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OP, here. Thanks everyone for weighing in. This must be a first! It seems to be unanimous that I should take the girls. Believe me, I had already considered everything that was said here. Just looking for advice? confirmation?
--My sister was/is a horrible person, but I decided that has nothing to do with these girls (esp. her bio daughter) who have been nothing but sweet and absolutely adoring of me. --There are other relatives that live in the same city as the girls but they live in the same less than ideal, squalid condition my sister did/does. I thought it might be better for them to go to my mother (who is willing to take them) because they're used to spending nights/time at Grandma's house, have cousins and aunties around. But again, none of them are doing any better than my sister. She clearly sees me as being in the best position to provide a better life and guidance. --I have no idea who this father is. According to my mother he's an irresponsible alcoholic. Clearly if he stepped in to want his child I realize I have no claims on her, but I don't see that happening. --I considered taking them to those great cities with me and we could all be cosmo girls and have tons of fun! But those cities are expensive and I want to them to have stability and be raised in the laidback quiet area I'm in. --If everything goes through with the transfer and something happens to my sis, I'll likely just move with the girls. I'm afraid resentment might set in if I sacrifice the opportunity to for kids who are not biologically mine. Then again, the joy of raising them could be more fulfilling. --Sis told my mom that even if nothing happens to her she still wants the girls to move and finish the school year with me because she can't even take care of herself. (I think she was talking financially, as a 13 year old and/or nurse could help physically. My mother also plans to move her in if she needs physical help, as there was talk of putting her in a nursing home.) I don't think I would take them unless she did not make it. I think my neice would be devastated if something happened to her mother while she lived far away-no matter how much fun she's having. |
Anonymous
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You write what looks like a movie pitch. In case this is real, listen to you heart deep inside. The outside of you is a selfish bitch. |
Anonymous
Sometimes you just need an e-slap to the face. Thank you. |
Anonymous
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The girls are 13... where would they want to go? Someone needs to have a heart to heart with them.
Could you afford a good boarding school? That could be best of both worlds... |
Anonymous
+1 Or even considering not taking them in. Wow, OP. |
Anonymous
As mean as this is, YOU'RE RIGHT! I realized I was being selfish, thinking totally of myself but felt that, for once in my life I might be entitled to do so, damnit! I had my DD young and sacrificed everything--promotions, those exciting transfers to other cities--for her and now's my time! But life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. |
Anonymous
| OP you seem like a truly horrible person. |
Anonymous
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By the time anything happens to your sister, the girls will likely be close to (or already) 14. In 4 years they'll be old enough to go away to college...
With all of the other relatives that these girls have in their lives (grandma, other aunts/uncles) it sounds as though you would have a certain amount of help. Maybe the girls could even summer with Grandma or another relative to give you a break from parenting them. If they were 3 I could understand the panic. But these are 2 good 13 year old kids..... |
Anonymous
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Wow. Just when you think you've seen it all on DCUM.
The selfishness and coldness boggles the mind. I might need to take a break from this site for a bit... |
Anonymous
How old are you? Honestly, if you can't set aside 4 years of your lives for these girls then you should just say so and cut out the drama. If those girls lose their mother they will need a rock to lean on. You may be at a time in your life where you just can't be the rock. It's o.k. to admit that. |
Anonymous
I cannot afford boarding school. I think they'd want to go with me. Her bio daughter casually texted me from the hospital at 3 am. Several texts in she told me she was in the hospital with her mother (I asked why she was up so late). At one point during the texting she said she was coming to live with me. Later the next day she texted that her mother wanted the two of them to live with me if something happened to her. I knew this to be the case because she had already told me that while I was there (and 10 years ago when she also thought she was dying). My mother also told me she wanted the girls to come live with me. |
Anonymous
| OP, just for the sake of curiosity, may I ask you who you voted for in the last election? JW! |