Ill Sister Wants Me to Take Her Kids vs. My Newfound Freedom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of us thinking that the OP sounds "off" are not focusing on her choice to take the girls in or not. That is a difficult choice and no one thinks it is a no brainer.

OP is, however, a nut job who likely should not be raising any children, let alone those that will be dealing with what these girls will be dealing with.

And no, OP it is not our lack of maturity that makes us unable to read between the shallow lines you write.

If this is a creative writing exercise, you get a D for lack of depth. If this is real, my heart goes out to these girls.

x1000. Op's description of raising her "girly girl" sounds like she was one of those parents who preferred to be their child's friend instead of their parent. I couldn't get past that.

Mommy issues, much?

The fact that you can't get past that one small part, while 98% of the other posters have, suggests there is something wrong with YOU.

Sorry you didn't have a good relationship with your mother. But that needs to be worked out outside of this thread.

Um 98% of other posters have most certainly not overlooked it. You have like maybe 15% of posters on your side with another 5% being more understanding.

The people who think you sound like a cold hearted weirdo are absolutely in the majority here.

1. You don't know who's posting what or how often.
2. No one's running a popularity contest here.
3. Why bother? You sound unstable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of us thinking that the OP sounds "off" are not focusing on her choice to take the girls in or not. That is a difficult choice and no one thinks it is a no brainer.

OP is, however, a nut job who likely should not be raising any children, let alone those that will be dealing with what these girls will be dealing with.

And no, OP it is not our lack of maturity that makes us unable to read between the shallow lines you write.

If this is a creative writing exercise, you get a D for lack of depth. If this is real, my heart goes out to these girls.

But that IS what you should be focusing on, as that is 98% or not more of the post. It's obvious you had a hard time with comprehension and identifying the MAIN IDEA in school.

Here's the OP with all the weird parts bolded. This isn't even taking your other crazy posts into account. More than 2% is crazy.

Sister is in the hospital in another state and doesn't seem to be doing very well. I went to visit last week and she stated that if anything happens to her, she wants me to take her two girls. One is hers biologically, the other she inherited in a strange twist when her young former sister-in-law decided she didn't want to be a mother.

Here's my dilemma. I am happily a new empty nester. I've been so enjoying my freedom that I put in for a transfer on my job to go work in a fabulous major city faraway for a year or two. I'll be returning to my home here afterwards. Then I considered putting in for another transfer that would take me to another major city for a year or two and/or maybe abroad.

On the one hand, I feel entitled to live my life for me finally, after sacrificing it all to raise my own child. And this is not a sister I was close to anyway. She was always a bitch to me. That is, until I became financially independent. She's always just been a mean person to everyone. Horrible!

On the other, I am in the best position to raise them financially. And I'm their best chance. I tried to look on the bright side and think about how wonderful it will be to have a girl in the house again. My daughter and I are BFFs and really enjoyed her teen years doing girly stuff. We had lots of fun with hair and beauty days, going to the salon, shopping. Just being real girly girls. Getting her ready for the prom was a blast! So were our movie dates together. We walked down the street holding hands...

The girls are just 13, so the great news is that I won't be taking in young kids who need before and after care. They can get themselves out to the bus stop. And they just adore me. I am THEE favorite aunt.

Advice?

At the end of the day, the ratio of 'incredibly sad things' you say to 'exuberant exclamation points' you use is very very strange.

[Anonymous]

You are calling people unstable. Umm...ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are calling people unstable. Umm...ok

I just asked about her in website feedback. We'll see what Jeff says. I mostly want to believe this is fake because otherwise I feel awful for the kids involved.

[Anonymous]

I'll take them. I am almost an empty nester who plans to live overseas when it happens and I raised boys, so girls would be a different adventure, but I will do it. They need a loving stable place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

Yes, cyberbullying is a grown woman being called out for her absurdly callous post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

Yes, cyberbullying is a grown woman being called out for her absurdly callous post.

Hey, everybody! Look at this! This person wants to call a poster 'callous' because she's dealing with the possible impending death of a sister and the possibility of having to take on additional children and alter her life.

This poster doesn't see the IRONY in how completely calloused and unaware she's being. She's too busy nitpicking and worrying about what she thinks the poster should have said instead of being a decent enough human being to realize people deal with situations differently. She's also too stupid to realize she can't possible know all the details.

It must be so sad to be so unhappy you can't be decent enough to ignore the postings of someone who's dealing with a difficult time. Instead you'd rather be a bitch.

It really must suck to be some of you.

I pity you. I really do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

Yes, cyberbullying is a grown woman being called out for her absurdly callous post.

Hey, everybody! Look at this! This person wants to call a poster 'callous' because she's dealing with the possible impending death of a sister and the possibility of having to take on additional children and alter her life.

This poster doesn't see the IRONY in how completely calloused and unaware she's being. She's too busy nitpicking and worrying about what she thinks the poster should have said instead of being a decent enough human being to realize people deal with situations differently. She's also too stupid to realize she can't possible know all the details.

It must be so sad to be so unhappy you can't be decent enough to ignore the postings of someone who's dealing with a difficult time. Instead you'd rather be a bitch.

It really must suck to be some of you.

I pity you. I really do.

Did you see what Jeff said about you?

[Anonymous]

After reading many of the posts in this thread, I can now truly understand why so many husbands cheat. It has to suck being married to such bitchy mean girls.

I used to read the Relationships forum and totally hurt for the women who were being cheated on and detest the men who wrote about their cheating.

Now I get it.

I really do.

Some women are just unbearably miserable.

If you're like this with a stranger online I can only imagine the day to day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

Yes, cyberbullying is a grown woman being called out for her absurdly callous post.

Hey, everybody! Look at this! This person wants to call a poster 'callous' because she's dealing with the possible impending death of a sister and the possibility of having to take on additional children and alter her life.

This poster doesn't see the IRONY in how completely calloused and unaware she's being. She's too busy nitpicking and worrying about what she thinks the poster should have said instead of being a decent enough human being to realize people deal with situations differently. She's also too stupid to realize she can't possible know all the details.

It must be so sad to be so unhappy you can't be decent enough to ignore the postings of someone who's dealing with a difficult time. Instead you'd rather be a bitch.

It really must suck to be some of you.

I pity you. I really do.

Did you see what Jeff said about you?

I'll wait for you to tell me.

You're really invested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't find OP off putting for questioning whether this is the right decision.

I find OP off putting for her bizarro tone where she discusses the death of her sister and these girls' losing their parent with an unbelievably flippant air about her. And acts as if when she takes these girls on it will be nothing but fun and games and cosmos in the big city! When in fact they will have just lost a parent and would be relocating in a dramatic way. She just doesn't seem like she's taking the whole thing seriously. Which is a strange thing to say considering the subject matter but seriously she really sounds so cavalier its making me agree with other PPs that this is a troll.

+1 Taking in two kids, especially after a major trauma like losing a parent, is a huge decision and commitment. I don't blame OP at all for being unsure. But her tone regarding her sister, and the focus on superficial pros and cons of raising two more girls...very strange. I thought it was a troll post originally and now I really hope it is because these poor girls seem like they will be screwed either way.

Doesn't sound like any kids in your care would come out too well either. You seem completely off-balance, unable to put things into perspective and understand another person's point of view. You also seem incapable or unwilling to realize it's impossible to convey all of the nuances of a situation on a message board. People do the best they can to communicate the intricate in simplistic ways. Posters of greater maturity and social intelligence are able to read between the lines and fill in the blanks.

Ok OP. Whatever you say. Only respond to the posters who are sympathetic to you and ignore the fact that many many posters have found your attitude and tone to be bafflingly weird and out of touch and, yes, kind of cruel.

Thank you for responding.

Have a great day!

XOXO

Seriously PPs who are defending her. Look at this ^^^. This woman's sister is dying, her nieces are potentially losing their primary parent and she is contemplating taking them in and she's talking about cosmos and signing off posts XOXO. None of you find that bizarre?

Once again I TOTALLY understand that this would be a tough decision that would need to be weighed very heavily. I don't think she'd be a horrible person for deciding not to do it. But the tone of her posts is SO weird.

Yes yes yes to all of this.

So this is what cyberbullying looks like? I thought that ended at like age 15 or so.

If you have nothing constructive to contribute, why not simply do the MATURE thing and move on to a thread that you can contribute to? One that better suits your liking? You "Hey let's flame OP for not posting the way we want her to" sound immature at best, mentally ill at worst.

Yes, cyberbullying is a grown woman being called out for her absurdly callous post.

Hey, everybody! Look at this! This person wants to call a poster 'callous' because she's dealing with the possible impending death of a sister and the possibility of having to take on additional children and alter her life.

This poster doesn't see the IRONY in how completely calloused and unaware she's being. She's too busy nitpicking and worrying about what she thinks the poster should have said instead of being a decent enough human being to realize people deal with situations differently. She's also too stupid to realize she can't possible know all the details.

It must be so sad to be so unhappy you can't be decent enough to ignore the postings of someone who's dealing with a difficult time. Instead you'd rather be a bitch.

It really must suck to be some of you.

I pity you. I really do.

Did you see what Jeff said about you?

I'll wait for you to tell me.

You're really invested.

Oh I'm not the PP who asked. Just another amused party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a pitch for a tv show.

Or a movie: "Womanchester By the River."

Sorry to joke about a serious issue but OP seems rather flippant about her sister's health problems.

I have close friends whose family members lie so much about small and big things such as significant life traumas and illnesses, so I get where OP is coming from. Her sister is already manipulating the situation in ways that's backing OP into a corner, such as already telling her daughter that she'll be living with OP. OP's "flippancy" reads differently to me, and I feel sympathy for her.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would probably let someone else take the primary guardianship role (it sounds like they exist though they may not "on paper" look as good as you) and support them however I could. I think the most important thing these kids need is a sense that they are wanted. And with you, they are not. It's not your fault, it just is.

[Anonymous]

What is the big deal. Parenthood is a choice and I stand by that regardless of if it is a woman considering abortion or a woman in OP's case who doesn't want to mother anymore! There is nothing wrong with that. If you don't want to be a mother again , you have the right to chose not to be. In the long run it will be you raising these kids, not anyone posting here to shame you on DCUM