Ill Sister Wants Me to Take Her Kids vs. My Newfound Freedom
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Anonymous
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Sister is in the hospital in another state and doesn't seem to be doing very well. I went to visit last week and she stated that if anything happens to her, she wants me to take her two girls. One is hers biologically, the other she inherited in a strange twist when her young former sister-in-law decided she didn't want to be a mother.
Here's my dilemma. I am happily a new empty nester. I've been so enjoying my freedom that I put in for a transfer on my job to go work in a fabulous major city faraway for a year or two. I'll be returning to my home here afterwards. Then I considered putting in for another transfer that would take me to another major city for a year or two and/or maybe abroad. On the one hand, I feel entitled to live my life for me finally, after sacrificing it all to raise my own child. And this is not a sister I was close to anyway. She was always a bitch to me. That is, until I became financially independent. She's always just been a mean person to everyone. Horrible! On the other, I am in the best position to raise them financially. And I'm their best chance. I tried to look on the bright side and think about how wonderful it will be to have a girl in the house again. My daughter and I are BFFs and really enjoyed her teen years doing girly stuff. We had lots of fun with hair and beauty days, going to the salon, shopping. Just being real girly girls. Getting her ready for the prom was a blast! So were our movie dates together. We walked down the street holding hands... The girls are just 13, so the great news is that I won't be taking in young kids who need before and after care. They can get themselves out to the bus stop. And they just adore me. I am THEE favorite aunt. Advice? |
Anonymous
| This has to be a pitch for a tv show. |
Anonymous
| I can't imagine not taking these girls in the circumstances you described. |
Anonymous
| Think not of it as doing a favor for sister, but changing the girls lives. Does that change your feelings about the matter? If she is as mean as you say, those girls would do well to have a loving home, esp. as the death of a mother tends to conjure up all sorts of childhood reflection. |
Anonymous
| ? |
Anonymous
I call troll. These kids sound like they'd be better off in social services. |
Anonymous
Disagree. This sounds like someone posting about real feelings. Real feelings are always honest but may not be what society thinks is appropriate or acceptable to articulate. |
Anonymous
| I await Jeff to weigh in on troll or not, if he does, before replying. Too many fake posts lately. |
Anonymous
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Would you be able to enjoy your time in these fabulous cities knowing this girls will be having a crap life?
Can't you raise these girls in these fabulous cities? My dad was military, we lived all over the world. It's only for 5 years until they go off to college. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Do the kids a favor and tell her no. |
Anonymous
| Take the girls. You could hire caregivers or send them to summer camps and things to give yourself breaks occasionally. |
Anonymous
Same here. It sounds like it would be potentially life changing for the girls, while it would only stall you for 5 or so years. I know it's more complicated than that, but my point is that you wouldn't be giving up your empty nest completely---just postponing it for something probably more meaningful. I lived abroad as an adult, and while it was a great experience, and I look forward to doing it again, I do feel like people tend to over glamorise those types of experiences. |
Anonymous
| Is there a father? |
Anonymous
+1 It's really not about whether or not your sister is a fabulous person, it's about the girls, your nieces. You are their family. |