Why do men pick ditzy women sometimes?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

It all starts with attraction. What you list above may or may not be important to a guy once they get to know you, but unless they're attracted to you in the first place they'll never learn about all that stuff. That's where your friend apparently has an advantage over you and your other friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very jealous. Just worry about yourself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

What?!?! Don't bother me with details!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a shitty friend you are.

I'm not really. Most girls who know her are kind of shocked at this outcome considering she never seemed to put much effort into seriously dating or becoming "marriage material" and actively toyed with tons of guys. We are allowed to express shock.

Would you, as her "friend," been happier if she had ended up old, miserable, and alone? Why can't you just be happy for her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Yes, the fit girls have those too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

Well, life isn't "fair." Work on your own life and your own happiness and stop being jealous of a "friend." Let me just add the with friends like you she sure doesn't need any enemies.

[Anonymous]

It basically boils down to one thing LUCK. Some people just get lucky. Things done always follow a pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

Sounds like this might be your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

Sounds like this might be your problem.

+1 People can tell when others are desperate. You and your other friends probably put off the vibe that you are only looking for serious boyfriends and it's turning guys off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

OK, bolded is why you are not finding "the one". Those "rules" are stupid. I asked my DH about supposed dating rules, and he said he never followed them. DH likes natural beauty rather than one that is made up. A lot of guys I know feel this way, too. I don't think a lot of men these days really care about a woman's past in terms of sexual partner. If they do, they are usually kind of insecure and maybe a bit hypocritical because, let's face it, most men would love to have experience with a lot of women.

That said, I don't have much of a history myself, and was a lot like you OP - not strikingly naturally beautiful and a rule follower. I still managed to find a great guy, though maybe by your standards, he might be much of a catch since he doesn't have a great body, isn't gorgeous, and doesn't come from money though he did and does earn six figures (so do I, btw). But he found me naturally beautiful enough, and we are compatible in many other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this girl who is kind of realy gorgeous with thick dark hair,warm open eyes and a big goofy smile. Her natural good looks aside, she didn't even know how to wear makeup or do her hair and wore odd looking outfits every day. Due to her physique and pretty face, she was a man magnet everywhere we went. It was actually kind of annoying going out with her because guys would bypass us to swoop in and flirt with her. It wasn't all good though. She got dumped multiple times and although everyone wanted to date/sleep with her, no one wanted to date her. Which, given her goofy ditzy party girl personality, wasn't a surprise. She spent all night after work drunk and weekends partying and had like, guys on her speed dial. She loved the boy attention and cringed at the thought of marriage saying she did not believe in it.

Lo and behold, a year back she started dating this guy who, by all standards seems to be a major catch. He has a glamorous job, comes from a warm loving and wealthy family, has a really good head on his shoulders and eats healthy and works out and is super responsible. Basically, her exact opposite! Only now these two are the sickening cute couple who blast social media with couple pictures and public declarations of love. He is always fawning over her on social media and she, to the shock of everyone, a changed woman.

She goes home straight after work to her boyfriend, cooks him elaborate meals(!!!!she lived on frozen food), peppers every sentence with "we" and "us" and "ours" and is a homebody compared to her former self.

By all accounts they both seem over the moon happy and I sense and engagement heading their way.

It was just a whirlwind romance to watch knowing her in our friendship group. We never thought she'd be someone to bag a guy so soon or of someone of such good quality. Very curious.

I'm just wondering why you are overly concerned about her and her love life. Do you often compare yourself with others? You sound very immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she grew up and got tired of partying. Happens to all (ok, most) of us eventually. And yes, you do sound a little jealous that she broke the rules and still has a great outcome. I think that's a normal human reaction, but you might want to work on it a little.

This is OP.

THIS! The rest of us girls are pretty homely looking, sure but we are preppy and put together and haven't really fooled around and only date guys we think are serious. We follow "The Rules" and here is our one friend who literally did everything the exact opposite way and she has a really great guy fawning over her and reading to propose. I guess all that grooming and manners can't compete with serious good looks!

Sounds like this might be your problem.

+1 People can tell when others are desperate. You and your other friends probably put off the vibe that you are only looking for serious boyfriends and it's turning guys off.

When you still run around in a pack it's a major turnoff, not to mention immature. Sounds like high school stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a woman, your post is quite revealing of your jealousy. For one, I think a lot of men do like naturally beautiful women, a woman who they can wake up next to in the morning and not think - wtf? You know?

Two: like PPs have said, there is a lid for every pot.

This is OP. Okay, so I do feel a slight tinge of jealousy. Some of my girlfriends and I have actively dated looking for a long term match and are good "well behaved" girls and its kind of a slap to our faces to see someone not care about any of this and wind up with what seems like a really good catch. It makes me wonder like, if guys like him want former partygirls, what will happen to us?

Guy here. I have female friends who speak like this. None of them are the catch they think they are.