Why do men pick ditzy women sometimes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel ya girl. This was me throughout my late 20s - lamenting the ditzy girls that seemed to get the best catches. I know exactly how you feel (and I don't think you're not a horrible jealous b).

I come from a conservative religion (no alcohol, no premarital sex, etc) and stuck to most of those values through my 20s. I literally would complain to my guy friends (after making sure I had no chance to date them lol) that I'm a good girl I follow the rules I should get a man... blah blah blah. At one point I said eff it all, and started to really throw myself into life. I travelled alone and did things most "good girls" in my community wouldn't dream of. The other good girls shunned me, and lo and behold that's when I found my husband. But it's all coincidence! He happened to have recently ended his marriage, and our paths crossed. Meanwhile the other "good girls" went on for a couple more years single and then started to break out of their shell, and now they're coupling up too.

People say "relax, it'll happen when you let go!" In reality, it'll happen whenever it's supposed to happen, and you might as well do whatever the eff you like in the mean time and full enjoy yourself.

+1 Me, exactly. I am a PP who learned to relax and have fun, not the booze drinking, partying fun, but just be myself and enjoy life fun. I was a very religious girl, too, and thought following x,y,z steps would land me my dream man. Uh. No. I just took myself way to seriously. BTW, you can be religious and still be fun. They don't have to be polar opposites.

I have a friend who is not as "attractive" as I am (seriously, trying to be unbiased), but, she was always relaxed, herself, fun to be around (and religious, btw), and she had several guys who liked her. She found a "catch" years before I did.

[Anonymous]

OP Let it go, the divorce rate is high so most will be divorced. Try to find a guy that has his values together, not one who wants to marry the girl from the bar.

[Anonymous]

Dressing preppy isn't the problem. You can dress preppy and be naturally pretty. Its about being yourself. If being yourself is preppy that is hot. I think a well dressed woman can be a lot more sexy looking than one dressed for attention. But like others say relax, enjoy life laugh and have fun. Guys will be attracted to this

[Anonymous]

OP, if you pull that stick out of your ass you might find someone special too

[Anonymous]

Because by nature, men are entranced w/good looks overall. They are usually driven by the "wrong head" & could care about anything than a partner's physique.

Isn't that the real reason that Kim Kardashian can have any guy she wants.....??!

Your friend's new guy likely enjoys showing off his new hot lady to everyone, thus all the social media photos.

Who needs a suit & tie??
Men just need a pretty lass by their side in order to look good!

[Anonymous]

Another guy here. OP, a lot of guys simply want a nice and honest person to be around. Girls/women like you think you're nice, but you're not really. Go back and reread your posts and answers on this thread. Imagine it were someone you knew talking about you, rather than you talking about "your friend." How would you feel if you thought someone was talking about you like that? Behind your back? To strangers? Definitely not nice behavior. It's also bad that you not only do this with strangers but you also talk about her behind her back to mutual friends. How would you feel if you found out that a group of your mutual friends routinely talked about you and your relationship and thought you were beneath the guy, that your beau was a catch that you didn't deserve? And frankly, while you seem to think you're a nice person, not only are you not a nice person, but a lot of guys can tell. We can usually tell the high maintenance types who talk about others behind their back, cluster like a group of vultures and talk down on others. And for many of us, your type is definitely not our type. We may not catch on right away, but most times we'll catch on before we make the ultimate mistake and marry one of you.

Although her looks may have gotten her the first drink, date, etc, it's her honesty and simplicity that made her date-able. I could never date someone like you and frankly, most of my friends, both the single and the paired up ones, have avoided your type. We stay away from the pack animals that prey behind their backs on those they think are weaker or more unfortunate .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another guy here. OP, a lot of guys simply want a nice and honest person to be around. Girls/women like you think you're nice, but you're not really. Go back and reread your posts and answers on this thread. Imagine it were someone you knew talking about you, rather than you talking about "your friend." How would you feel if you thought someone was talking about you like that? Behind your back? To strangers? Definitely not nice behavior. It's also bad that you not only do this with strangers but you also talk about her behind her back to mutual friends. How would you feel if you found out that a group of your mutual friends routinely talked about you and your relationship and thought you were beneath the guy, that your beau was a catch that you didn't deserve? And frankly, while you seem to think you're a nice person, not only are you not a nice person, but a lot of guys can tell. We can usually tell the high maintenance types who talk about others behind their back, cluster like a group of vultures and talk down on others. And for many of us, your type is definitely not our type. We may not catch on right away, but most times we'll catch on before we make the ultimate mistake and marry one of you.

Although her looks may have gotten her the first drink, date, etc, it's her honesty and simplicity that made her date-able. I could never date someone like you and frankly, most of my friends, both the single and the paired up ones, have avoided your type. We stay away from the pack animals that prey behind their backs on those they think are weaker or more unfortunate .

+1

[Anonymous]

Sorry people Are being so harsh to you Op. All I can say is the majority of dcum are assholes and it's best to disregard.

As a former party girl, I can tell you men absolutely LOVE it. I think it's the confidence, the self fullfilment, the "enjoying life" vibe, and of course- the power- these women have that men are captivated by.

If you want to inspire the same devotion in men, I recommend tapping into your own personal power, focusing not on attracting men, but enjoying and living in the moment and just loving life. That's what being a party girl is about, after all- the intoxicating feeling of power when you dance on top of a table or DJ booth (and for those who haven't done so- don't knock it till you try it). The giddiness of drinking too much champagne and going wild on the dance floor with your girlfriends. It's about a joie de vivre more than anything else, and THAT's what people, male or female, are attracted to.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be blunt here. Understand this is not intended to be snarky. Your attitude can be read by other people. If you're willing to insult your friend and feel entitled to what you think are the best catches, then that's going to turn off a lot of men. You're not entitled to anyone, ever. You sound like one of those MRA idiots.

My advice is to pull yourself together. Worry about enjoying your life, and not comparing yourself to others. Life is not fair. It will never be fair. It's a mental construct that sets you up for disappointment. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Guy here. I have female friends who speak like this. None of them are the catch they think they are.

They never are. "Put together," "following 'The Rules' (lol), "preppy," "well-groomed." No guy worth a shit gives a fuck about any of this.

Look good
put out
shut up

It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Who needs a suit & tie??
Men just need a pretty lass by their side in order to look good!

For every attractive woman you see, some man is tired of fucking her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Guy here. I have female friends who speak like this. None of them are the catch they think they are.

They never are. "Put together," "following 'The Rules' (lol), "preppy," "well-groomed." No guy worth a shit gives a fuck about any of this.

Look good
put out
shut up

It's that simple.

Geez. I am not preppy, don't follow the rules, etc but I think I might start trying all of the above if dudes like you are turned off by it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a woman, your post is quite revealing of your jealousy. For one, I think a lot of men do like naturally beautiful women, a woman who they can wake up next to in the morning and not think - wtf? You know?

Two: like PPs have said, there is a lid for every pot.

This is OP. Okay, so I do feel a slight tinge of jealousy. Some of my girlfriends and I have actively dated looking for a long term match and are good "well behaved" girls and its kind of a slap to our faces to see someone not care about any of this and wind up with what seems like a really good catch. It makes me wonder like, if guys like him want former partygirls, what will happen to us?

Your use of the term "bag" and then "catch" says it all.

[Anonymous]

Also, maybe a girl "not actively seeking marriage material" is what it takes to actually GET marriage material. OP, you sound entitled, artificial, jealous, and spiteful.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're gonna regret not sleeping around a little more. I knew a girl who thought she was marriage material. She actually told me I'm the type of girl guys marry, clearly saying I wasn't. She died, so I guess she was wrong.