Why do men pick ditzy women sometimes?

[Anonymous]

I was raised to be all prim and proper. Truth is it can attract the wrong kind of man. My husband is extremely into appearances and that was probably why he was attracted to me. I've changed a lot since I got married and don't value this stuff nearly as much anymore. His parents do and they are extremely unhappy and stuck up.

This man probably likes your friend because she's fun and hot. They must have a great time together and the sex is good. That's all it takes.

If I were you I would focus way less on appearances. Enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it sounds like your friend was just being herself--and that's what attracted the guys, not some act to be "marriage material." And, for some reason, she met this one guy, things clicked, and she changed somewhat (and became a more adult version of herself.) It happens.

I'm not (and was not) a party-girl, but that's my personality. Guys, in my experience, really like flirty ditzy girls, especially naturally attractive ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be all prim and proper. Truth is it can attract the wrong kind of man. My husband is extremely into appearances and that was probably why he was attracted to me. I've changed a lot since I got married and don't value this stuff nearly as much anymore. His parents do and they are extremely unhappy and stuck up.

This man probably likes your friend because she's fun and hot. They must have a great time together and the sex is good. That's all it takes.

If I were you I would focus way less on appearances. Enjoy life.

This.
My parents raised me the same way, did nothing for me. Best to just be yourself. Wish I had done that and I would have had a lot more fun in life in my twenties!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a woman, your post is quite revealing of your jealousy. For one, I think a lot of men do like naturally beautiful women, a woman who they can wake up next to in the morning and not think - wtf? You know?

Two: like PPs have said, there is a lid for every pot.

This is OP. Okay, so I do feel a slight tinge of jealousy. Some of my girlfriends and I have actively dated looking for a long term match and are good "well behaved" girls and its kind of a slap to our faces to see someone not care about any of this and wind up with what seems like a really good catch. It makes me wonder like, if guys like him want former partygirls, what will happen to us?

Guy here. I have female friends who speak like this. None of them are the catch they think they are.

Yup, I have those female friends too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a woman, your post is quite revealing of your jealousy. For one, I think a lot of men do like naturally beautiful women, a woman who they can wake up next to in the morning and not think - wtf? You know?

Two: like PPs have said, there is a lid for every pot.

This is OP. Okay, so I do feel a slight tinge of jealousy. Some of my girlfriends and I have actively dated looking for a long term match and are good "well behaved" girls and its kind of a slap to our faces to see someone not care about any of this and wind up with what seems like a really good catch. It makes me wonder like, if guys like him want former partygirls, what will happen to us?

Guy here. I have female friends who speak like this. None of them are the catch they think they are.

This is OP. Can you please elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

This is OP.

Well, compared to my friend I AM boring. I never get drunk in public and flirt with/make out with married men and party all the time and come to work drunk etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a shitty friend you are.

I'm not really. Most girls who know her are kind of shocked at this outcome considering she never seemed to put much effort into seriously dating or becoming "marriage material" and actively toyed with tons of guys. We are allowed to express shock.

No, you really are. You are saying bad things about a friend to a bunch of strangers. You are very clearly jealous and somehow believe you are more deserving of the good things in your friend's life. You have every right to act the way you are and we have every right to point out that you are an asshole.

+1

I know where OP lives (hint: close in NVA).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised to be all prim and proper. Truth is it can attract the wrong kind of man. My husband is extremely into appearances and that was probably why he was attracted to me. I've changed a lot since I got married and don't value this stuff nearly as much anymore. His parents do and they are extremely unhappy and stuck up.

This man probably likes your friend because she's fun and hot. They must have a great time together and the sex is good. That's all it takes.

If I were you I would focus way less on appearances. Enjoy life.

+10000

Guys LOVE this. Women HATE this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

Exactly. Every guy know that marrying a prim and proper girl is a one-way ticket to "no BJ-ville" and its a painful trip back. If you don't marry a woman who loves fun, sex and values her appearance then as life's milestones start stacking up your attraction and chemistry will fail and you'll end up being plutonic friends (best case scenario) raising kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

This is OP.

Well, compared to my friend I AM boring. I never get drunk in public and flirt with/make out with married men and party all the time and come to work drunk etc.

oh, op, you know that's not what people are referring to. I haven't done any of those things, either, but manage to find a good DH. It's about being relaxed and fun. The proverbial "letting your hair down". When I took myself too seriously, I couldn't find a decent BF. The moment I started to relax, be myself and let myself have "fun" (I don't drink btw), my DH and I got together. Men like women who are easy going, not women who have so many damn rules. Men are generally pretty uncomplicated creatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

Exactly. Every guy know that marrying a prim and proper girl is a one-way ticket to "no BJ-ville" and its a painful trip back. If you don't marry a woman who loves fun, sex and values her appearance then as life's milestones start stacking up your attraction and chemistry will fail and you'll end up being plutonic friends (best case scenario) raising kids.

Guys that marry the whore or party girl end up with ex wives who take them to the cleaners. That's the reality of that one. BJ's, give me a break most (not all) don't care to do that. If that's you're big reason to get married, better stay single because kids and other life importance's will take priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

Honestly, sounds boring.

This is OP.

Well, compared to my friend I AM boring. I never get drunk in public and flirt with/make out with married men and party all the time and come to work drunk etc.

oh, op, you know that's not what people are referring to. I haven't done any of those things, either, but manage to find a good DH. It's about being relaxed and fun. The proverbial "letting your hair down". When I took myself too seriously, I couldn't find a decent BF. The moment I started to relax, be myself and let myself have "fun" (I don't drink btw), my DH and I got together. Men like women who are easy going, not women who have so many damn rules. Men are generally pretty uncomplicated creatures.

+1000. Same thing happened to me. I grew up and stopped caring about stupid stuff and appearances. Thought I would be single for life and decided to enjoy it the best I can. Of course then I meet my husband. I don't even let him call me his girlfriend for quite some time. I was too buys having fun. I hate when people say to relax but really...just relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are no limits to what guys will do for a pretty girl. Really, a woman only needs to be fit and guys will line up like its the iPhone 10!

What about grace, good manners, good morals, a brain and being levelheaded?

It all starts with attraction. What you list above may or may not be important to a guy once they get to know you, but unless they're attracted to you in the first place they'll never learn about all that stuff. That's where your friend apparently has an advantage over you and your other friends.

That also means their relationship will burn out much faster since it sounds like it's mostly lust at this point. A good marriage won't last on sex and looks.

[Anonymous]

Drop the preppy, good girl act and start enjoying yourself. Live a little. People are attracted to relaxed, fun people. Stop "hunting" and go with the flow. Also, throw out your "checklist" of what makes a "catch" or you might end up an old maid.