My DD told me that I am the maid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The consequence for the first mouthing off is that she will have to cook her own meals for a day, you should not cook for her the next day after such a comment.

The consequence for the second mouthing off is that you will not wash any of her clothes for a week. She can wear dirty clothes or wash them herself.

She's got that huge chip of entitlement on her shoulder because your consequences don't matter to her. But having to cook or clean for herself might instill some humility in her if she wants to have those things done for her.

Nope. Consequence is that she is no longer entitled to "maid service." Want to eat? Make it, clean up after it or don't make it. Laundry? The machines are over there. Oh.. you wanted to go somewhere today? Hmm.... I'm a maid, not a chauffeur. You'll have to figure something else out, after your chores are finished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

You think at age 13 OPs daughter should be expecting OP to clear the daughter's dinner plate??

[Anonymous]

Reason 4738348 not to be a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Your dd is a mean girl. Saying things to hurt others deliberately is cruel. Punish punish punish but know that deep down she is just a cruel human that goes away in 5 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reason 4738348 not to be a SAHM.

No. My boys are 12 and 9 and do the dishes, and part of the laundry, and pet care, and trash and compost, and their bathroom. It is not that hard to train your kids to be a part of the household.

Her daughter knew which button to push to cause the most drama. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your dd is a mean girl. Saying things to hurt others deliberately is cruel. Punish punish punish but know that deep down she is just a cruel human that goes away in 5 years

Yeah I am really worried about how she's treating others at school. Though I don't know what OP could do about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

PP here - no asshole, says the WOHM single mom of twins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

How will your DD become a hard-working SAHM if you don't start putting her to work now?

[Anonymous]

What has your husband said during these verbal attacks? It's important that this type of mean girl behavior is seen as not acceptable by both of you.

I am so sorry you are being treated this way. Don't stand for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

Op, You are a jerk. Op, your daughter is being a teenage brat. If you worked she would have found something else to jab you about. There needs to be consequences for this and your husband needs to back you up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

Op, You are a jerk. Op, your daughter is being a teenage brat. If you worked she would have found something else to jab you about. There needs to be consequences for this and your husband needs to back you up.

Sorry not hat op is a jerk. The pps hat said she is like a maid are jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

Oh bullshit - she doesn't have a point. She's a petulant bratty kid. At 13 she should know when her games are, what she needs, and express that to her mom.

Says the lazy SAHM...

Op, You are a jerk. Op, your daughter is being a teenage brat. If you worked she would have found something else to jab you about. There needs to be consequences for this and your husband needs to back you up.

Sorry op is not a jerk. The pps who jumped on the bandwagon to say she is a maid are absolute jerks. Shame on them.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the negative SAHM comments, some people are assholes.

I'm so glad you wrote this post, I am also a SAHM and I have an 11 DD who has inklings of this behavior. I also have a sweeter 9 year old DD who really is so different. I think sometimes she sees the interactions between me and my older daughter and does not want to go down that path.

I, like you, have had consequences, boundaries, etc... what I have realized from reading responses is that I have made her help out around the house enough. Honestly with the constant reminders, nagging it has been easier and more peaceful to do many things myself but your post helps me see that I need to change that. I am stlll making her lunch and I need to change that immediately.

I also do better when I do not engage, and also have started punishing her for attitude and eye rolling. I also engage way too much. I've been thinking about why I do engage so much while reading your post and I am still trying to teach them right from wrong. When we engage we are trying to get them to learn by understanding what they say is wrong. After reading the responses and thinking about my situation, I realize that they know what is appropriate and not, because they don't treat anyone else like they do us.

My husband blows up at me when he is frustrated, I am starting to see my oldest do the same thing. I am giving her some space and trying to ask her what is wrong after some time has passed.

There was another thread on here... http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/527604.page. Parent had punishment of pulling weeds, I have instituted 15 minutes of snow shoveling as a punishment, so far it is working well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say, I think she has a point. As a SAHM, it is your job to be on top of ensuring sports clothes are clean, meal prep and tidying etc.

As a parent, whether WOHM or SAHM, it's also part of her job to raise her kids to be respectful, self sufficient (age appropriate), of good moral character, which OP appears to be trying to do. OP admitted she forgot about the back to back games (face it, we all forget something), but having a kid take her plate to the kitchen or dishwasher is not out of the norm, even for a kid of a sahm. We have taught our kids to do this since they were 5, including making their own beds, and I have been all 3: wohm, sahm and wahm. They also have other chores (kids are 10 and 7).

Also, at 13, the kid is old enough to keep her own schedule and make sure she has what she needs for the next day. She could've reminded her mom, and sure, nothing wrong with sahm washing the clothes. But, at 13, she can still do things for herself and manage her own things. SAHM doesn't mean doing *everything* for a teenager. That would be called babying your teen, and probably turning them into helpless, spoiled brats, which sounds like OP is trying hard not to do.