Would You Divorce If Adult Child Would Reject You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very high conflict. My D has witnessed it. There are things I’ve told my D that are only between her mother and I x d I will not discuss them her. I’m asking for a split of assets 52 percent in wife’s favor, but she says that’s not reasonable.

She went to court pro se and filed for the continuance. She claimed she did not see the original complaint b/c the process server gave it to my D who was home at the time. She also made other claims that my lawyer and I ambushed and misled her. She says she requested the continuance so she could get a lawyer. The judge denied her request. She waited too long.

Why would I write this? Because I’m stressed.

I would advise your ex and your D directly (since she has already been brought into this) that you are agreeing to one continuance, and there will be no further concessions after this continuance. Show a little mercy to the woman you were married to for 25 years, and then, if that fails, you can sleep well at night knowing you did right by your 25-year marriage.

Why are you in such a rush to finalize your divorce? What does six more months or so cause you so much stress?

[Anonymous]

Wife is stealing assets.

[Anonymous]

You're contributing to everyone's suffering, OP, but being so wishy-washy. At this point, all the options are lose-lose, because you dragged it out so long.

Maybe you could have offered more to being with, and maybe you can offer more now. I advise you to do this. But the important thing is to end it, to allow everyone to move on with their lives.

What a loser you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for pity's sakes. She's the mother of your child. Give her the continuation already. Don't know the specifics but she likely needs more time to figure things out. Was the divorce expected, or did you spring this on her? Was she a SAHM or have an outside job? Can she support herself on one income, or is she going to have to move into a hovel to make ends meet?

Your DD will never forgive you if you force her mother to suffer. I know of several divorces that went badly for dad-child relationship when they caused financial disaster for the ex-wife.

Agreed. She’s already told you she thinks you’re trash, don’t make her throw you away permanently.

She told you how she felt, it’s up to you if you GAF.

[Anonymous]

Kindly suggest your daughter mind her own business and stay out of her parents legal matters that don't concern her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very high conflict. My D has witnessed it. There are things I’ve told my D that are only between her mother and I x d I will not discuss them her. I’m asking for a split of assets 52 percent in wife’s favor, but she says that’s not reasonable.

She went to court pro se and filed for the continuance. She claimed she did not see the original complaint b/c the process server gave it to my D who was home at the time. She also made other claims that my lawyer and I ambushed and misled her. She says she requested the continuance so she could get a lawyer. The judge denied her request. She waited too long.

Why would I write this? Because I’m stressed.

Is that allowed? I thought it had to be to the person directly?

So she doesn’t even have a lawyer and you won’t give her the extra time? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very high conflict. My D has witnessed it. There are things I’ve told my D that are only between her mother and I x d I will not discuss them her. I’m asking for a split of assets 52 percent in wife’s favor, but she says that’s not reasonable.

She went to court pro se and filed for the continuance. She claimed she did not see the original complaint b/c the process server gave it to my D who was home at the time. She also made other claims that my lawyer and I ambushed and misled her. She says she requested the continuance so she could get a lawyer. The judge denied her request. She waited too long.

Why would I write this? Because I’m stressed.

I would advise your ex and your D directly (since she has already been brought into this) that you are agreeing to one continuance, and there will be no further concessions after this continuance. Show a little mercy to the woman you were married to for 25 years, and then, if that fails, you can sleep well at night knowing you did right by your 25-year marriage.

Why are you in such a rush to finalize your divorce? What does six more months or so cause you so much stress?

He was probably already cheating and wants to move on with his side piece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife is stealing assets.

You have a lawyer. It's not that hard to freeze assets at the date of separation.

[Anonymous]

Tell your daughter that any decent parent would try to shield their child from all the negatives of a divorce and first thing would be to make it clear that it is not her responsibility to take care of either of you. Rip the bandaid off, longer this goes on harder it is going to be on everyone. If you're being fair and aren't trying to hurt your ex financially your daughter will come around.
Do you want to inflict more pain on your ex, or do you want a relationship with your daughter. Can't have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very high conflict. My D has witnessed it. There are things I’ve told my D that are only between her mother and I x d I will not discuss them her. I’m asking for a split of assets 52 percent in wife’s favor, but she says that’s not reasonable.

She went to court pro se and filed for the continuance. She claimed she did not see the original complaint b/c the process server gave it to my D who was home at the time. She also made other claims that my lawyer and I ambushed and misled her. She says she requested the continuance so she could get a lawyer. The judge denied her request. She waited too long.

Why would I write this? Because I’m stressed.

I would advise your ex and your D directly (since she has already been brought into this) that you are agreeing to one continuance, and there will be no further concessions after this continuance. Show a little mercy to the woman you were married to for 25 years, and then, if that fails, you can sleep well at night knowing you did right by your 25-year marriage.

Why are you in such a rush to finalize your divorce? What does six more months or so cause you so much stress?

I don’t think he is in a rush. I think he is exasperated. Know the difference.

Why is the stb-ex dragging her feet? Health insurance? Pride?

Dealing with older children in these situations is tricky. You don’t really want to share too many details, however you also don’t want your ex to be a financial burden on your child (I presume). And if Mom is crying about being a victim, that’s unfortunate although it puts you in a bad spot.

I am in the camp of rip off the bandaid. You can always voluntarily give more money later if needed.

And yes, your relationship with your kid is going to suffer. But I would suggest that damage is already done and may not be repairable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're contributing to everyone's suffering, OP, but being so wishy-washy. At this point, all the options are lose-lose, because you dragged it out so long.

Maybe you could have offered more to being with, and maybe you can offer more now. I advise you to do this. But the important thing is to end it, to allow everyone to move on with their lives.

What a loser you are.

You lack reading comprehension and sound like a misandrist. Shut up and stop posting. Your invalid opinion is not welcome here.

[Anonymous]

If you filed a year ago and your wife hasn't gotten a lawyer, giving her more time isn't going to change that. Judges and courts HATE pro se litigants, so if there were any slightly good reason to give a continuance, the judge would have granted it and your lawyer would be recommending you give her more time. Instead, everyone sees that this is stalling with no end in sight.

As a parent, I feel for you. But I do think that if your daughter is choosing sides, then you're already on the way out of her life and a continuance isn't going to change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you filed a year ago and your wife hasn't gotten a lawyer, giving her more time isn't going to change that. Judges and courts HATE pro se litigants, so if there were any slightly good reason to give a continuance, the judge would have granted it and your lawyer would be recommending you give her more time. Instead, everyone sees that this is stalling with no end in sight.

As a parent, I feel for you. But I do think that if your daughter is choosing sides, then you're already on the way out of her life and a continuance isn't going to change that.

+1. I would email your daughter that you love her very much but there are some things that are between you and her mother. Out of respect to her and her mother, you will not discuss details of your marriage and divorce with her.

[Anonymous]

Don’t divorce your wife of 25 years. Problem solved. Put this energy you’re going to waste on navigating your minefield of a child for the next 40 years into repairing your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're contributing to everyone's suffering, OP, but being so wishy-washy. At this point, all the options are lose-lose, because you dragged it out so long.

Maybe you could have offered more to being with, and maybe you can offer more now. I advise you to do this. But the important thing is to end it, to allow everyone to move on with their lives.

What a loser you are.

You lack reading comprehension and sound like a misandrist. Shut up and stop posting. Your invalid opinion is not welcome here.

My opinion that he's a loser? Oh no, it's very valid. I advise that he divorce as soon as possible, and give his wife more to make her go away. That's how it works, people. The daughter will need time to process it, and OP has to do his best to be kind.