Would You Divorce If Adult Child Would Reject You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

It’d that’s supposedly true why you twiddling your thumbs here on dcum not knowing how to supposedly divorce or speak with your supposed adult daughter.

[Anonymous]

So many troll and sock puppet posts here today. Sigh.

Doesn’t jeff ever check this stuff. ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you filed a year ago and your wife hasn't gotten a lawyer, giving her more time isn't going to change that. Judges and courts HATE pro se litigants, so if there were any slightly good reason to give a continuance, the judge would have granted it and your lawyer would be recommending you give her more time. Instead, everyone sees that this is stalling with no end in sight.

As a parent, I feel for you. But I do think that if your daughter is choosing sides, then you're already on the way out of her life and a continuance isn't going to change that.

+1. I would email your daughter that you love her very much but there are some things that are between you and her mother. Out of respect to her and her mother, you will not discuss details of your marriage and divorce with her.

What does this even mean? How is it respectful to dd and xw to not discuss this? That sounds like lip service garbage, and no one actually takes it seriously because it means nothing. She will just call his bluff on this and it will piss her off.

Kids figure out what went on even if not told. I figured out my boss was cheating with her business partner because her 6 year old knew too well how to work the guy's tv/stereo setup when I took him to the pool at the guy's apartment. That was the first thing that triggered my suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

You're crazy if you think you're not a big part of the problem. She went out looking for validation because you were unwilling to provide it to her. You need to work on yourself, not worry about what your wife is doing. Why don't you help her overcome these events instead of trying to punish her?

Oh cmon. I’m pro continuance in this situation, but you cannot victim blame after he got cheated on.

He's not the victim, he's the problem!

Right- the woman is never to blame no matter how many dudes she blows or bangs behind his back.

[Anonymous]

Continue with the divorce. Kids never want the divorce, so it doesn't make a difference when it's going to happen. She negleticed to open the mail??? WTF. Then she f#cked up. She needs to go to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many troll and sock puppet posts here today. Sigh.

Doesn’t jeff ever check this stuff. ?

NOT EVERYONE ON HERE IS A TROLL. WTF?? Why is that always said. I posted and had someone call me that. Why do you say this is a troll post - because you don't like what he's saying??

[Anonymous]

OP, proceed w the divorce. I felt that way from the first page, skipped the next four and saw your update on page 5. This is a surprise to neither of them. The truth hurts, but it's still the truth.

Then get out, live your life and never get married again because I'm worried your BS detector is off and you'll find another jerk and even worse, she will have you signing over the rest of your estate to her, not your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

She is a lawyer or at least worked at a law firm and she hasn’t engaged counsel over six months after you filed? Hard to believe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

It’d that’s supposedly true why you twiddling your thumbs here on dcum not knowing how to supposedly divorce or speak with your supposed adult daughter.

+1. Tell your daughter the truth about her moms affairs, but only if you don’t have similar indiscretions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, proceed w the divorce. I felt that way from the first page, skipped the next four and saw your update on page 5. This is a surprise to neither of them. The truth hurts, but it's still the truth.

Then get out, live your life and never get married again because I'm worried your BS detector is off and you'll find another jerk and even worse, she will have you signing over the rest of your estate to her, not your child.

Agree. Something is very off, several things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what if the wife gets to file docs she failed to the first time? What are you afraid of, presuming she doesn't perjure herself and lie in her filings?

If she shows up, the judge will likely be lenient and all documents to be admitted despite the fact that they’re late unless there is u fair surprise - and that’s a tough standard to prove.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many troll and sock puppet posts here today. Sigh.

Doesn’t jeff ever check this stuff. ?

NOT EVERYONE ON HERE IS A TROLL. WTF?? Why is that always said. I posted and had someone call me that. Why do you say this is a troll post - because you don't like what he's saying??

This +1000

[Anonymous]

Team OP. He just wants out and is being more than fair even though his wife CHEATED on him. And now she’s using the adult child as a pawn. I’d tell STXW to cut it out or you’ll tell the adult child the truth.

And hold strong. You don’t owe her any grace if you’re being accurate with the facts.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question - no, I would not divorce if I were to cause a deep rift with my child. My children come first, and our relationship needs to be preserved. I’m the parent, so I make the sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

Wow. Did all of this happen recently?

This all seems like so much drama for people in their 50’s.