Would You Divorce If Adult Child Would Reject You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very high conflict. My D has witnessed it. There are things I’ve told my D that are only between her mother and I x d I will not discuss them her. I’m asking for a split of assets 52 percent in wife’s favor, but she says that’s not reasonable.

She went to court pro se and filed for the continuance. She claimed she did not see the original complaint b/c the process server gave it to my D who was home at the time. She also made other claims that my lawyer and I ambushed and misled her. She says she requested the continuance so she could get a lawyer. The judge denied her request. She waited too long.

Why would I write this? Because I’m stressed.

I would advise your ex and your D directly (since she has already been brought into this) that you are agreeing to one continuance, and there will be no further concessions after this continuance. Show a little mercy to the woman you were married to for 25 years, and then, if that fails, you can sleep well at night knowing you did right by your 25-year marriage.

Why are you in such a rush to finalize your divorce? What does six more months or so cause you so much stress?

I don’t think he is in a rush. I think he is exasperated. Know the difference.

Why is the stb-ex dragging her feet? Health insurance? Pride?

Dealing with older children in these situations is tricky. You don’t really want to share too many details, however you also don’t want your ex to be a financial burden on your child (I presume). And if Mom is crying about being a victim, that’s unfortunate although it puts you in a bad spot.

I am in the camp of rip off the bandaid. You can always voluntarily give more money later if needed.

And yes, your relationship with your kid is going to suffer. But I would suggest that damage is already done and may not be repairable.

come on. sock puppeting your sock puppeting of your Troll OP?!!??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for pity's sakes. She's the mother of your child. Give her the continuation already. Don't know the specifics but she likely needs more time to figure things out. Was the divorce expected, or did you spring this on her? Was she a SAHM or have an outside job? Can she support herself on one income, or is she going to have to move into a hovel to make ends meet?

Your DD will never forgive you if you force her mother to suffer. I know of several divorces that went badly for dad-child relationship when they caused financial disaster for the ex-wife.

No
OP this is your decision not your DD

If your wife knew there is no reason to not continue and move on with your livesc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird.

Adult child should know how procedural things go. Yes your spouse is stalling and stonewalling.

Perhaps the reason(s) for the divorce need to be more meaningfully addressed? Both with your soon to be Ex spouse and your adult children.

Back to the basics OP - WTF happened to your marriage? The real, underlying issue. Not the "we grew apart" BS one. Or "she was a nag" one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

You're crazy if you think you're not a big part of the problem. She went out looking for validation because you were unwilling to provide it to her. You need to work on yourself, not worry about what your wife is doing. Why don't you help her overcome these events instead of trying to punish her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

Team YOU OP
Speed that divorce up ASAP
You got this!

[Anonymous]

Ok- so who cheated? My ex-friend got caught cheating. Husband filed on her and she was in a total panic and disbelief. She tried a lot of tactics to stall.

Cheating always makes divorces so much worse. Was it you or her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok- so who cheated? My ex-friend got caught cheating. Husband filed on her and she was in a total panic and disbelief. She tried a lot of tactics to stall.

Cheating always makes divorces so much worse. Was it you or her?

Oh- just saw it was her- OP! This sounds exactly like my scummy ex-friend who had us all fooled.

Your daughter will learn the truth one day and mom won’t look so good when that happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

You're crazy if you think you're not a big part of the problem. She went out looking for validation because you were unwilling to provide it to her. You need to work on yourself, not worry about what your wife is doing. Why don't you help her overcome these events instead of trying to punish her?

DP. Nope. She just sounds like a messed up whore. She was looking for strange D constantly because of a “her” problem. Very poor character

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

Team YOU OP
Speed that divorce up ASAP
You got this!

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

You're crazy if you think you're not a big part of the problem. She went out looking for validation because you were unwilling to provide it to her. You need to work on yourself, not worry about what your wife is doing. Why don't you help her overcome these events instead of trying to punish her?

Oh cmon. I’m pro continuance in this situation, but you cannot victim blame after he got cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Wife serial cheating, good job as a lawyer changes the situation in my mind. Give her one more continuation per earlier PP suggestions. Let your DD know you agreed to the continuation for her. I would split assets so that it's equitable for both. Sounds like she can take care of herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s the fire OP? What are you trying to accomplish at your age that another six months is going to genuinely affect? You clearly want the divorce and your wife doesn’t. That happens all the time. So this is where the rubber meets the road: give her a continuance and let her know this is her opportunity to find representation and if she does not, she’ll suffer the consequences. You don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage. But there are lots of ways to exit a marriage without swinging a bat on your way out.

You can explain all this with kindness to your daughter, and if you’re genuine, your daughter will see that. If you are leaving a stay at home mom high and dry in her 60s who is about to live at the poverty line, it doesn’t matter what you do with the continuance because you’ll lose your kid.

FWIW, my dad left my mom for his AP. My mom is now remarried and living a great life. Dad was married a P until she died of a chronic ill illness many years later. Everyone would say that everyone moved on in my family and got along great. Privately, I will tell you that I grew up watching my mom lay on the couch on NYE and I’ve never forgiven my father. Have I moved on? Sure. I wasn’t given a choice. But he’s a selfish man, full stop.

Why do I think that’s the same thing op is planning on…

probably.

that's why the OP only selectively responds to posters, not the ones asking WHY THE DIVORCE?

OP here. I filed for divorce on grounds of adultery, cruelty and constructive desertion. W had a several affairs, the last with a partner at the former law firm where she worked. That office romance blew up in her face. She was fired from her job, partner had to leave the firm. That answer enough?

You're crazy if you think you're not a big part of the problem. She went out looking for validation because you were unwilling to provide it to her. You need to work on yourself, not worry about what your wife is doing. Why don't you help her overcome these events instead of trying to punish her?

Oh cmon. I’m pro continuance in this situation, but you cannot victim blame after he got cheated on.

He's not the victim, he's the problem!

[Anonymous]

Easy. Throw more money at the wife. She will go away quietly and the daughter will stop being brainwashed by her mother.

You've got to pay to make unpleasantness go away, OP. Many a victim has found this out before you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Easy. Throw more money at the wife. She will go away quietly and the daughter will stop being brainwashed by her mother.

You've got to pay to make unpleasantness go away, OP. Many a victim has found this out before you.

Just give the wife everything. She's probably earned it having to deal with you!