How do you get over jealousy, when your child is the only one not going to a top college?

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming this is just another troll post—a variation on the well-worn "DCUM elite or your kid is a loser" theme. Earlier this week, there was a poster claiming they were going to harm themselves if their kid didn’t get into a certain tier of school. Now, we’re seeing a post focused on unbearable jealousy. If not a troll you need counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, being a bad mom, sore loser. In our circle all the kids did exceptional but mine, of course we have ADD going for us. I don't show it to my son but it's eating me up alive.

How bizarre that you need this type of status so badly. Check yourself.

[Anonymous]

Troll. The application season isn’t close to being over. Full round of RD to come. Try again in April troll

[Anonymous]

Get help and get new friends. You are the problem here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, being a bad mom, sore loser. In our circle all the kids did exceptional but mine, of course we have ADD going for us. I don't show it to my son but it's eating me up alive.

Your son knows. And if you aren’t careful, it will ruin the next eight months for him.

One of my kids was in a trio of HS best friends. She got into the top school all three wanted. The other two didn’t. One friend’s mom handled it well since it was her 4th kid. The other was not as subtle as she thought she was being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may not tell your kid, but believe me he probably knows. Focus on where he is happy to be going and encourage him to make the most of his time there.

This ridiculous notion that you are defined by where you go to college is quite frankly toxic and stupid and being ashamed of your own kid based on thing is even worse. You are his parent, start acting like it.

+1
OP, you are a bad parent. You want what is best for you, not your kid. Good parents want what is best for their kid. He should be ashamed to have you as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not tell your kid, but believe me he probably knows. Focus on where he is happy to be going and encourage him to make the most of his time there.

This ridiculous notion that you are defined by where you go to college is quite frankly toxic and stupid and being ashamed of your own kid based on thing is even worse. You are his parent, start acting like it.

+1
OP, you are a bad parent. You want what is best for you, not your kid. Good parents want what is best for their kid. He should be ashamed to have you as a parent.

puhlease. I am not the OP, but sometimes, or even often, people don't get what is best for them. it is entirely possible to get rejected by a college that would, in fact, be best for you, were you accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, being a bad mom, sore loser. In our circle all the kids did exceptional but mine, of course we have ADD going for us. I don't show it to my son but it's eating me up alive.

Assuming that means to you student will be forced to attend a...dare I say...public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son knows you're disappointed. Hard to hide.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, being a bad mom, sore loser. In our circle all the kids did exceptional but mine, of course we have ADD going for us. I don't show it to my son but it's eating me up alive.

I think most people have a circle of friends where there are kids that do not go to college or fail out, etc. I don’t understand how you turned a win into a loss here. Sounds like your son is doing great.

[Anonymous]

Get out of your circle and meet more people.

I had a kid I thought was going to a local college. Now I’m working to sign kid up for Social Security benefits due to severe mental illness. It’s very demoralizing for such a young adult to see options evaporating.

[Anonymous]

Apparently some spend all hours on this forum troll trashing the schools of these friends…

[Anonymous]

I totally believe the OP. It's not even about the specific college! It's just about your circle and feeling left out.

People feel envious about so many material goods, status symbols and lifestyles. It's perfectly natural to feel that way for secondary education as well. The posters who scoff may not have had the experience of their kid getting into a significantly less-selective college than all of their friends. It sucks.

OP, it will all be fine. The arc of life is long and no one knows whose kid will have the happiest or most "successful" life (according to what criteria?). Grieve for a bit, then come out the other side.

[Anonymous]

My kid is only a sophomore but knows a lot of seniors. Yes, you hear about the kids who got into Harvard or Stanford or UVA ED. Many more kids for deferred or rejected and have to go through RD round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I totally believe the OP. It's not even about the specific college! It's just about your circle and feeling left out.

People feel envious about so many material goods, status symbols and lifestyles. It's perfectly natural to feel that way for secondary education as well. The posters who scoff may not have had the experience of their kid getting into a significantly less-selective college than all of their friends. It sucks.

OP, it will all be fine. The arc of life is long and no one knows whose kid will have the happiest or most "successful" life (according to what criteria?). Grieve for a bit, then come out the other side.

There was a poster a few years ago who also felt envious of the kids who went to top colleges. She said she wished she pushed her kids harder. I think she said the tiger parents won.