Should a woman's social media dissuade me from dating her?

[Anonymous]

Why crowdsource this? You can date her or not.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it should dissuade you. Not every woman in your generation is like this. You think that they are because it’s the social media types that create the most noise. But there are plenty of women out there who know how to carry themselves and create a little mystery and frankly, keep their class and wits about themselves. This particular woman isn’t for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s an excessive number of followers? If it’s in the thousands does that potentially signal this person is doing other types of activity? “Only fans” for example? I met someone very attractive recently whose account is private so I can’t see what they post but the number of followers is over 5k. Im older so I don’t really do social media. Should I be concerned ?

Why would you be "concerned"? Just ask about it.

[Anonymous]

I would pass

[Anonymous]

I would pass too. Otherwise your next post is going to be a out how you took her out to eat and she spent the whole date trying to instagram perfect photos of her meal.

[Anonymous]

Unless you’re teens, the fact that she still even *has* active social media pages is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Move on ..

[Anonymous]

Nope. Gold-digger and can't be satisfied by attention from one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pass too. Otherwise your next post is going to be a out how you took her out to eat and she spent the whole date trying to instagram perfect photos of her meal.

That's minor compared to her flying out to eating out one of her instagram followers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s an excessive number of followers? If it’s in the thousands does that potentially signal this person is doing other types of activity? “Only fans” for example? I met someone very attractive recently whose account is private so I can’t see what they post but the number of followers is over 5k. Im older so I don’t really do social media. Should I be concerned ?

*nods grimly*

[Anonymous]

In your own words, you're looking for a sweet girl next door type. It is the norm for women on IG (like this one at the networking event) to have "computer brain", i.e. be perpetually online attempting to project their best self, getting hit on (and frequently entertaining) offers by random men more attractive than you, and otherwise having an attention-seeking, abundance-based mindset.

A few years back, I was into a girl at my workplace who had all the usual SM profiles. She canceled last-minute twice on dates I arranged. Several months later she became official with another guy. Fast-forward to a couple months ago, and she told me with a straight face that she has men buy her drinks at bars, leaving an open question as to whether she goes beyond that (flirting, ONS, etc.) with said men, and said her boyfriend doesn't mind.

Talk about dodging a bullet. I often told myself, "What if her flaking on me was a gift?", and that right there erased any doubt I might've still had.

So yeah, don't waste your time on women with a social media presence, and go where the "girl next door" types are. I'd recommend volunteering at no-kill shelters, going to community suppers, enrolling in dance classes, attending a agricultural fair, etc. for under-30 "girl next door" types.

If you're Christian, then conservative churches with a younger community (e.g. Traditional Latin Mass for Catholics) are also good, but beware of the "born-again virgin" types. A genuine "girl next door" type is all about upbringing, not finding Jesus at 25, so you have to think in terms of places that women with a deeply-rooted, wholesome upbringing will frequent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’re teens, the fact that she still even *has* active social media pages is a red flag.

Unless you're teens, that you're even talking about a "girl next door" is a red flag about you.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think it's fine. I know you're getting attacked for how you phrased things but I get it. I wouldn't want to date a guy who was super active on TikTok or posted gym selfies all the time. DH would be pretty put off if I was a huge social media user or suddenly wanted to become a social influencer. I think it's completely fine to not be attracted to the type of person who puts their lives on social media like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think it's fine. I know you're getting attacked for how you phrased things but I get it. I wouldn't want to date a guy who was super active on TikTok or posted gym selfies all the time. DH would be pretty put off if I was a huge social media user or suddenly wanted to become a social influencer. I think it's completely fine to not be attracted to the type of person who puts their lives on social media like that.

Of course it's fine. But you can surely notice there's a difference in what you said vs. what he said.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't even date someone posting five times a WEEK.