Should a woman's social media dissuade me from dating her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’re teens, the fact that she still even *has* active social media pages is a red flag.

This. It's equivalent to a grown man spending hours each day playing video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’re teens, the fact that she still even *has* active social media pages is a red flag.

This. It's equivalent to a grown man spending hours each day playing video games.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

I’m being dead serious when I say this, but you may want to see if she has an OF page as well.

[Anonymous]

It would annoy me because I'd assume she'd be spending time posing for or taking pictures all the time, which is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I own a social media agency and have worked with a lot of well-known influencers.

Swimsuits pics are NBD, it's no different than a ripped man posting shirtless pics (which they do ALL the time).

It more depends on her mindset. I work with people who see it as a business separate from their personal life. It's just about money and you don't get validation from it. The people who post sexy stuff don't give AF about their followers - it's just a way to get money, none of them are DMing these guys (who they recognize are desperate and not good partner material).

If I dated someone who was DMing and flirting with strangers - I'd have a problem with that.

I'd just have an open conversation, not of how it bothers you, but be genuinely curious about her overall plan. Does she want to make money? Is it just for fun?

One thing I *can* guarantee you is with 2k followers, she's not getting sexy rich men sliding into her DMs. If any men DM her, they're creeps. She's also not going to be making any money off of 2k followers.

Funny enough I was chatting with some women in their 50s the other day about what I do. General consensus among older women is if you have the opportunity to make money on OF while you're still young and beautiful, do it. Get in, make a bunch of money, get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I own a social media agency and have worked with a lot of well-known influencers.

Swimsuits pics are NBD, it's no different than a ripped man posting shirtless pics (which they do ALL the time).

It more depends on her mindset. I work with people who see it as a business separate from their personal life. It's just about money and you don't get validation from it. The people who post sexy stuff don't give AF about their followers - it's just a way to get money, none of them are DMing these guys (who they recognize are desperate and not good partner material).

If I dated someone who was DMing and flirting with strangers - I'd have a problem with that.

I'd just have an open conversation, not of how it bothers you, but be genuinely curious about her overall plan. Does she want to make money? Is it just for fun?

One thing I *can* guarantee you is with 2k followers, she's not getting sexy rich men sliding into her DMs. If any men DM her, they're creeps. She's also not going to be making any money off of 2k followers.

Funny enough I was chatting with some women in their 50s the other day about what I do. General consensus among older women is if you have the opportunity to make money on OF while you're still young and beautiful, do it. Get in, make a bunch of money, get out.

No one cares that you turned your own SM obsession into a side hustle

[Anonymous]

That behavior says she's insecure, seeking validation of her attractiveness through her postings. She needs to be admired for her physical appearance. Whether that's a concern for you or not is something for you to decide. The behavior is unlikely to change, so be aware that you'll have to live indefinititely with her limited exhibitionism and her solicitation of positive feedback from strangers. That may grow tiresome, you may prefer someone less insecure and more self-confident, or not.

[Anonymous]

Why you don’t you go out with her a couple times and she what she’s really like?

[Anonymous]

I bet if you joined a hiking club, stream cleanup volunteer group, Habitat for Humanity or some other outdoorsy activity, you would meet women who are focused on more worthwhile endeavors than posting 5 times per day on social media.

[Anonymous]

I have lots of younger relatives with active social media like this. I'm watching them slowly grow out of it as they get real jobs and long term relationships (same with boys and video games). For others, it is clearly because they are in or seeking marking or marketing adjacent careers and this is like a resume (like coders with their hackathons and git hub pages or whatever), but their main subject is themselves and their immediate world, which is what they have access to right now. Others are really hoping to get rich as influencers. A girl can dream.

I'm willing to believe it is a passing phase of youth. But you can learn a lot about the person and find your red flags if you are looking for them. It is worth a conversation to get to the "why?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it isn’t the same thing but I have a friend who is a mom influencer. I hate hanging out with her because we have to go somewhere new and trendy and she has to take a million photos and videos. She spends more time zooming in on food than focusing on our conversation.

I would find that really annoying, too. My husband watches a lot of travel youtube videos and I always think I would actually hate going on a trip if we had to spend the whole time documenting our trip like that. And I used to be a travel writer, too! So I know what it's like to be on a trip and also taking notes and pictures for future use.

That said, for OP - honestly, everyone is going to be annoying in some way. If you like someone in person, just go out on a date. You don't have to follow them on IG if their online persona bugs you. I think your generation is really suffering for relying so much on apps to meet people and gauge how compatible you are. If she's into you and you were into her when you actually met in person, just one date. Stop being so judgmental = and, let's face it, fearful - that you can't get off the computer and go outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you’re teens, the fact that she still even *has* active social media pages is a red flag.

This. It's equivalent to a grown man spending hours each day playing video games.

you guys were really made for these times

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m being dead serious when I say this, but you may want to see if she has an OF page as well.

Definitely. Go over to OF. Spend as much time there as you need to, to track this woman down and confirm she isn't good enough for you. Then spend some more time finding some other women who aren't good enough for you. Make sure you study them very closely so you can come back and tell us in great detail all the ways they've let you down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet if you joined a hiking club, stream cleanup volunteer group, Habitat for Humanity or some other outdoorsy activity, you would meet women who are focused on more worthwhile endeavors than posting 5 times per day on social media.

Those women are on social media, too. Most people are on social media in some form or another. They're posting pictures of themselves, or of the cabin they just renovated, or of their dogs, or whatever. Their hikes are going up on socials. PEOPLE are on social media. If you write off every person with a social media account you are going to have an even harder time not being single.

Have you gotten any indication OP is a hiker? Or cleans up streams? No, he was at a networking event - then hopped right over to Instagram to look up this woman he met. He's in that world - just prefers to judge the other people in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I own a social media agency and have worked with a lot of well-known influencers.

Swimsuits pics are NBD, it's no different than a ripped man posting shirtless pics (which they do ALL the time).

It more depends on her mindset. I work with people who see it as a business separate from their personal life. It's just about money and you don't get validation from it. The people who post sexy stuff don't give AF about their followers - it's just a way to get money, none of them are DMing these guys (who they recognize are desperate and not good partner material).

If I dated someone who was DMing and flirting with strangers - I'd have a problem with that.

I'd just have an open conversation, not of how it bothers you, but be genuinely curious about her overall plan. Does she want to make money? Is it just for fun?

One thing I *can* guarantee you is with 2k followers, she's not getting sexy rich men sliding into her DMs. If any men DM her, they're creeps. She's also not going to be making any money off of 2k followers.

Funny enough I was chatting with some women in their 50s the other day about what I do. General consensus among older women is if you have the opportunity to make money on OF while you're still young and beautiful, do it. Get in, make a bunch of money, get out.

No one cares that you turned your own SM obsession into a side hustle

You do realize DCUM is social media, right? How many hours a day do you spend on here?