ADHD 14-year old delinquent stealing. Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was 13 in your nearly identical post on the teens and tween board. Is this for real?

Op here. Yes. Its real. He’s turning 14 next month. Rising freshman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Military school?

OP Here. Where? On this board and others people are recommending residential facilities and military school but where specifically? Are there any that are recommended the area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say his siblings are at camp or counselors or doing sports. What does your DS like? If it's video games, would he be interested in E sports? Or streaming on Twitch or making videos? Give him something to focus on, put his energy towards.

Op here. He wants to stare at screens and play Fortnite and Roblox all day. When we take it away he will pilfer through the house trying to find his phone or computer. He has hacked our safe to access them. He mostly steals from family to buy crap in these games.

It sounds like you need some serious interventions for screen addiction. I'd look into residential treatment facilities.

My thoughts exactly. You are dealing with addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider a military academy like Fork Union?

OP here and thank you for an actual name/referral. Trying to find resources and we don’t know of any. Did find a school called Massanutten Military school. But we know nothing about them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have a tv, video games, or computer in your house?

Op here. He isn’t our only child! We have three other kids/teens and DH and I also work full time from home. Why should three other siblings be penalized for the bad acts of one. They are responsible and don’t deserve to lose their tv and tech privileges bc of him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Military school?

OP Here. Where? On this board and others people are recommending residential facilities and military school but where specifically? Are there any that are recommended the area?

I know of someone whose kid did well at Randolph Macon Academy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you done a full set of neuropsych to see if there’s anything in his profile that explains this behavior?

Op here. He has been evaluated at Kennedy Kriger and also public school and has an adhd diagnosis and dysregulation disorder diagnosis. He’s been on a low dose of a mood stabilizer and also adhd stimulant during the school year. Doctor said not to give it over summer or on weekends.

[Anonymous]

I also think he has an addiction to screens.

Can you send him to an overnight camp this summer that is screen free? There have got to be spots somewhere. Send him for as many weeks as possible.

As for volunteering, AFAC and the Clothesline for Arlington Kids have lots of opportunities for kids.

What rules do you already have in place at home not just around screens? Do your kids take phones into their rooms? Do they plug them in at a certain time each night?

Where is he going to go to HS next year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Military school?

OP Here. Where? On this board and others people are recommending residential facilities and military school but where specifically? Are there any that are recommended the area?

I know of someone whose kid did well at Randolph Macon Academy.

Thank you. Will look into this. We are at our wits end and have honestly tried. He’s been tested. He is on meds. He has a psychiatrist he sees monthly and an executive function coach. We just got him a therapist bc of this latest incident. Just don’t know what more to do at this point. We have four kids and three don’t deserve their tv and tech privileges at home revoked bc of him! That isn’t fair either.

[Anonymous]

He should be on meds continuously based on what you are describing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think he has an addiction to screens.

Can you send him to an overnight camp this summer that is screen free? There have got to be spots somewhere. Send him for as many weeks as possible.

As for volunteering, AFAC and the Clothesline for Arlington Kids have lots of opportunities for kids.

What rules do you already have in place at home not just around screens? Do your kids take phones into their rooms? Do they plug them in at a certain time each night?

Where is he going to go to HS next year?

OP here and Thank you for these helpful real world suggestions! This is what I’m desperately looking for!!! He went to an overnight camp for one week in June but was able to have his phone. He’s going to another sports overnight camp for a few days next week. But I agree. I have already discussed this with DH but Finances are a concern. Many of these camps are quite expensive. And as I’ve mentioned a few times, we have three other kids and need to take that into consideration fairness. He gets to go for two weeks and they each also get to go age permitting.

He did get two CIT jobs. Blew one bc he didn’t like the assignment he got and didn’t return. The other he enjoyed immensely but it was a one time only experience.

Thanx you for the Arlington referrals on volunteer possibilities. Will look into those.

We have a 9pm phone curfew across the board. But he will often find his after we fall asleep and take it back. We have locks on our pantry, master bedroom, and a safe. And he’s hacked them all.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by he has hacked them all, OP? Has he just figured out your password and PIN numbers, is he physically lock-picking them, is he rewriting code, etc?

You probably need to up the security you have on those items as it isn't enough. Get a safe that only opens to your fingerprints or something similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You say his siblings are at camp or counselors or doing sports. What does your DS like? If it's video games, would he be interested in E sports? Or streaming on Twitch or making videos? Give him something to focus on, put his energy towards.

Op here. He wants to stare at screens and play Fortnite and Roblox all day. When we take it away he will pilfer through the house trying to find his phone or computer. He has hacked our safe to access them. He mostly steals from family to buy crap in these games.

Then get rid of them.

Completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have a tv, video games, or computer in your house?

Op here. He isn’t our only child! We have three other kids/teens and DH and I also work full time from home. Why should three other siblings be penalized for the bad acts of one. They are responsible and don’t deserve to lose their tv and tech privileges bc of him!

You either get rid of the electronics or get rid of your son or your son ends up in prison.

Your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think he has an addiction to screens.

Can you send him to an overnight camp this summer that is screen free? There have got to be spots somewhere. Send him for as many weeks as possible.

As for volunteering, AFAC and the Clothesline for Arlington Kids have lots of opportunities for kids.

What rules do you already have in place at home not just around screens? Do your kids take phones into their rooms? Do they plug them in at a certain time each night?

Where is he going to go to HS next year?

OP here and Thank you for these helpful real world suggestions! This is what I’m desperately looking for!!! He went to an overnight camp for one week in June but was able to have his phone. He’s going to another sports overnight camp for a few days next week. But I agree. I have already discussed this with DH but Finances are a concern. Many of these camps are quite expensive. And as I’ve mentioned a few times, we have three other kids and need to take that into consideration fairness. He gets to go for two weeks and they each also get to go age permitting.

He did get two CIT jobs. Blew one bc he didn’t like the assignment he got and didn’t return. The other he enjoyed immensely but it was a one time only experience.

Thanx you for the Arlington referrals on volunteer possibilities. Will look into those.

We have a 9pm phone curfew across the board. But he will often find his after we fall asleep and take it back. We have locks on our pantry, master bedroom, and a safe. And he’s hacked them all.

You need to find an office space and move into it. You cannot keep electronics around this child. You need an electronic free home. Figure it out.