Does it ever work out for the women whose boyfriends don’t propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girls I know became women in their 30s and the guys broke up with them married and had kids. One girl married later. The other women are still single 50s.

Wow. This is what’s happening to my friends right now as we speak. A bestie just lost her bf of 7 years and he’s getting married to some woman he cheated on her with. She thought he was going to change and start treating her better. But she was just a 7 year plaything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over a decade. They met in college and are now 34. The boyfriend claims he loves her but is not ready for marriage. I personally would have left long ago. They have lived together for 10 years and basically act like a married couple except they are not married.

Does it ever work out for women who never get the ring?

Do they eventually leave? Have kids out of wedlock?

I’d bet your friend listed him as next of kin on everything that matters and he listed his mom.

[Anonymous]

I dated my DH a long time. He claimed he wanted to be with me forever but didn’t see the need for marriage until we were considering kids. I wanted time without kids. When I turned 28 I told him I’d dated him all of my 20s and didn’t plan to be his girlfriend in my 30s and that it would take a year to plan the wedding I wanted. We got engaged a few months later, married 9 months after that, had our first daughter 5 years later had our second a few after that. We’ve been together 26 years, married 16. Soon after we married he said he was dumb and didn’t know why he waited so long. That said, looking back, we were so young when we started dating (I was 19 and he was 17) that even at many years in when I started wanting marriage (around age 26) he was still really young.

[Anonymous]

This man will dump her, find someone else within a year, and marry that new lady in 3 months. I've seen/heard of this scenario many times. Your friend is the placeholder. He doesn't want to marry her.

[Anonymous]

Some of these responses are harsh but they are true. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Yep she needs to move on. He won’t marry her but probably will marry the next girl. She needs to take control of her destiny.

[Anonymous]

This is my sister in law. They were together for probably 15 years and had a house together before they decided to get married. I think the key is that neither of them thought they wanted marriage, and then decided together about the timing down the road. She wasn’t “waiting for a ring” - there were active, respectful conversations all those years about where the relationship stood and what they both wanted. They’ve been married a few years now.

[Anonymous]

^ They don’t want kids and will never have them (too old anyway)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over a decade. They met in college and are now 34. The boyfriend claims he loves her but is not ready for marriage. I personally would have left long ago. They have lived together for 10 years and basically act like a married couple except they are not married.

Does it ever work out for women who never get the ring?

Do they eventually leave? Have kids out of wedlock?

If one wants marriage but the other doesn't the one that does usually grows resentful. If both are on the same page then it's not a problem.
I know many women who live with their boyfriends as a married couple, but have no interest in marriage as a legal institution. Does your friend want marriage or you're assuming she does?

She wants marriage and kids. Her family is pressuring her big time. They are younger than me so I always thought of her as like a fresh college grad but now she is approaching advanced maternal age. Her family is telling her to have a baby now.

What her family wants should be irrelevant.

Sometimes the family is pressuring because they know that’s what the woman wants and she isn’t being honest with herself. Sometimes the family is pressuring because what they want is different from what the woman wants. Hard to tell, looking in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a big difference between people who are together for 10 years and unmarried because the my are happy with their lives and don’t want kids and don’t see the need to get married and people who are together for 10 years with one wanting to get married and the other always putting it off for a year or two.

The guy is doing very well professionally. She has moved with him with no ring. They moved three years ago. I think everyone expected them to get engaged and married but it never happened. Now she is getting older. They both want kids.

Ugh, this is why you don’t move without the ring, IF marriage is what you want.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together for 20 years, unmarried. He did eventually propose around year 12 but honestly by that point it just seemed moot to me. We have a daughter, and all the trappings of a typical suburban family. Most people new in our lives don’t even know we’re not married and those who have been our friends for ages don’t care.

Now, marriage wasn’t a big deal to me. I had an abusive husband before my now partner, my mother was a serial marry-er, and I know a lot of people with failed marriages. In my heart, I know that marriage doesn’t equate to “forever” or happily ever after. In that, someone may believe the opposite and that’s okay. For us, I know we are both here because we want to be, day after day, even when it gets hard. Neither of us *have* to stay (although obviously with a child that’s a little different of an equation).

[Anonymous]

I have never seen these relationships end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ They don’t want kids and will never have them (too old anyway)

If they don’t want kids, it would matter less.

A woman’s biological clock is really. Sure, some women are able to have children in their late thirties and early forties but if you want a family, you really should start in your thirties. This isn’t societal pressure. It is biological.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girls I know became women in their 30s and the guys broke up with them married and had kids. One girl married later. The other women are still single 50s.

What the hell does it mean ? They were virgins into their 30s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a big difference between people who are together for 10 years and unmarried because the my are happy with their lives and don’t want kids and don’t see the need to get married and people who are together for 10 years with one wanting to get married and the other always putting it off for a year or two.

The guy is doing very well professionally. She has moved with him with no ring. They moved three years ago. I think everyone expected them to get engaged and married but it never happened. Now she is getting older. They both want kids.

I noticed you mentioned how her family wants them to get married and to have children, and now you're saying that everyone expected them to get married, which makes me wonder: why do you think these expectations others have for this couple relevant?

I am a family friend. It doesn’t matter what I think. I already said I would have left long ago. The only thing that matters is that this man has not proposed or married my friend. She wants to get married and have kids. He supposedly does one day.

He needs to “shi$ or get off the pot.”