Would you go on a trip with a friend who doesn’t ever want to meet locally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meant to say she has been depressed and avoiding, not divorced and avoiding.

Sounds like you already know the answer.

She is deal with depression and possibly mental disorder health issues.

I’d go on the trip, not pry, keep things light, relaxing and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean it sounds like she went through a low patch where she was avoiding old friends but is now trying to get over it by extending this invitation. I wouldn’t let your pique get in the way of your decision — do you still like her/want to hang out with her? Is the trip affordable for you? Is it to a destination you genuinely want to visit?

Yes, the location is somewhere I want to go. Money is not an issue.

I actually tried to meet up again and willing to drive to her and she said let’s just meet up on the vacation. It makes me wonder if I want to travel with her if she won’t even meet me for several years.

She got divorced right before Covid. She moved in with her mother and she was sick and died. It has been a tough few years for her for sure. Her mom passed away over a year ago.

Ok. That’s all reasonable.

Are you dense or are you a Troll?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should go. It'll be a good opportunity reconnect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Local is Bethesda to Reston, not MD to NC. You are long distance friends.

It will be more fun to see each other on vacay than driving up and down 95 for 12 hours round trip to spend a whole weekend drinking wine in someone’s guest room IMO but YMMV.

I changed states. Think MD to NYC.

What the H. Get your fake story straight Op.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn’t you go?

1-You clearly want to see her, since you are extending invites to get together.

2-Obviously your friend is truly struggling with something that has been preventing her from seeing you in person, although she still really cares about you since she responds to calls/messages. Who knows what - depression, agoraphobia, anxiety, jealousy over your marriage/kids, fear of going out at night, could be anything.

I would go - you want to see her, & if you cared about her at all, maybe the trip will help her with whatever she’s struggling with so you guys can resume seeing each other once back home.

[Anonymous]

I've read the entire thread OP. I don't understand why you wouldn't go, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Local is Bethesda to Reston, not MD to NC. You are long distance friends.

It will be more fun to see each other on vacay than driving up and down 95 for 12 hours round trip to spend a whole weekend drinking wine in someone’s guest room IMO but YMMV.

I changed states. Think MD to NYC.

What the H. Get your fake story straight Op.

It is not a fake story. I’m attempting to stay anonymous. The location of where she lives is completely irrelevant. It is close enough to do a day trip. We could meet in the middle easily. I have offered to drive all the way to her. She has driven to me many many times before Covid. The location of where she and I live and the location of her work trip are all irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you go?

1-You clearly want to see her, since you are extending invites to get together.

2-Obviously your friend is truly struggling with something that has been preventing her from seeing you in person, although she still really cares about you since she responds to calls/messages. Who knows what - depression, agoraphobia, anxiety, jealousy over your marriage/kids, fear of going out at night, could be anything.

I would go - you want to see her, & if you cared about her at all, maybe the trip will help her with whatever she’s struggling with so you guys can resume seeing each other once back home.

I have spoken to another good friend about this friend previously. They don’t know one another. My friend said it may be painful for her to see me with my 3 kids when she doesn’t have any. She has always loved my kids so I doubt that is it. She always asks about them and I don’t hide my mom life from her at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've read the entire thread OP. I don't understand why you wouldn't go, frankly.

You wouldn’t be hesitant to go away for several days with a person who refuses to see you for a few hours?

I have seen her once in 5 years and she still refuses to see me.

[Anonymous]

I would go and I would stop pushing her to meet in person in your location or hers. She extended the vacation invite to you and then you pushed again by asking to visit her next weekend? Back off. It comes across as if it's more important to see her in a specific location than it is to just see her. She's made it clear she's not up for visitors or visiting so let it go for awhile. I have friends who could easily visit me and I could easily visit them, but at this stage in our lives, it's more fun to take trips together. Just go and enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go and I would stop pushing her to meet in person in your location or hers. She extended the vacation invite to you and then you pushed again by asking to visit her next weekend? Back off. It comes across as if it's more important to see her in a specific location than it is to just see her. She's made it clear she's not up for visitors or visiting so let it go for awhile. I have friends who could easily visit me and I could easily visit them, but at this stage in our lives, it's more fun to take trips together. Just go and enjoy it.

I can’t explain it but it makes me somewhat suspicious or worried, like she is trying to hide something. I feel like she is avoiding me. She works from home so I don’t think she leaves the house.

I also wonder if she is even going to be there if I go to the destination. I have literally been by her supposed home over the past few years and she can’t ever meet. It makes me wonder where she actually lives. I don’t know what I’m even saying. Her behavior doesn’t add up and not sure why she even wants me to come on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Local is Bethesda to Reston, not MD to NC. You are long distance friends.

It will be more fun to see each other on vacay than driving up and down 95 for 12 hours round trip to spend a whole weekend drinking wine in someone’s guest room IMO but YMMV.

+1. The title of this post is ridiculously misleading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've read the entire thread OP. I don't understand why you wouldn't go, frankly.

You wouldn’t be hesitant to go away for several days with a person who refuses to see you for a few hours?

I have seen her once in 5 years and she still refuses to see me.

If you’re asking her to drive from North Carolina to Maryland to hang out with you for a couple hours, I’m surprised she’s still friends with you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've read the entire thread OP. I don't understand why you wouldn't go, frankly.

You wouldn’t be hesitant to go away for several days with a person who refuses to see you for a few hours?

I have seen her once in 5 years and she still refuses to see me.

If you’re asking her to drive from North Carolina to Maryland to hang out with you for a couple hours, I’m surprised she’s still friends with you at all.

I already said I would drive to her and the location was 3-4 hours.

I’m probably going to decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Local is Bethesda to Reston, not MD to NC. You are long distance friends.

It will be more fun to see each other on vacay than driving up and down 95 for 12 hours round trip to spend a whole weekend drinking wine in someone’s guest room IMO but YMMV.

I changed states. Think MD to NYC.

What the H. Get your fake story straight Op.

It is not a fake story. I’m attempting to stay anonymous. The location of where she lives is completely irrelevant. It is close enough to do a day trip. We could meet in the middle easily. I have offered to drive all the way to her. She has driven to me many many times before Covid. The location of where she and I live and the location of her work trip are all irrelevant.

Just go. She’s a friend. She went thought a really hard time. Don’t be a jerk.